Jealous of Daddy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2003
Jealous of Daddy
3
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 6:14pm
Ok,I am ashamed to even admit this. But,I think that my son likes Dh better than me and it's really starting to bug me. To make matters worse,I just had our second baby and am feeling gulity because of the attention that I can't give DS right now. So,anyway tonight after supper DS decides he wants to go outside and play. We ask him who he wants to take him and he says Daddy. I guess it just bothers me because it has been too cold today for me to have the baby out so I couldn't take him out and I feel like he thinks of me as dull and boreing. I know I sound silly and childish but I don't want him to like one of us better than the other and I want him to want to be with me some too. Do y'all think that he likes daddy better than me or am I just being crazy about the whole situation?

Holly

Avatar for jennyberm
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: hollybm
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 6:45pm
I've read that it's very common for kids to show preference for one parent over another and that it's likely to flip flop too. He may be wanting only you soon and you will be begging for him to go to daddy, lol. I think it's perfectly reasonable to feel slighted too. I mean, really, he's your first baby!!

Rather than worry about it though, I would appreciate the extra time this gives you with the baby - you're going to need it! Also, try to focus on the time you do have with him. Maybe he just likes to play with daddy but he likes to read books with you? Good luck and HTH!

Jenny

Proud Mommy to Cameron (8/4/01) and

Cassia (7/15/03)





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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
In reply to: hollybm
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 9:32pm
Hugs to you,Holly!I don't blame you for feeling a little hurt.It is hard not to take it personally.However,I have read in several books,and talked to several moms,who said that boys normaly go through a time when they prefer to be with their dad.They are beginning to realize that they are not a "girl" like mommy,but a "boy" like daddy.This time is very importent for boys because they are trying to discover their idenity.This is what I read in Dr. Dobson's book "BRINGING UP BOYS"

Despite the importance of an early mother-child bond,it may seem strange that little boys begin to pull away from their moms during the period between fifteen and thirty-six months.........(mothers)should not allow themselves to feel rejected and wounded by their boys' gravitation toward fathers.Just remember that the behavior isn't personal.Boys are genetically programmed to respond that way.

Hope that helps you feel a little better!!

Hugs,Heather mommy to Phillip

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
In reply to: hollybm
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 2:10pm
I feel this way sometimes too.
When my husband comes home from being gone 3 weeks, my children want him more then me.
I see their reasons, since they have not seen him in so long, but it still hurts since I am here fpr them 24/7.
I think it is just because they are males??
Don't feel bad about it, I am sure your son needs you for love, support, boo boos and so forth :) You are special to him in a diffrent way from the dad.


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