Leaving Baby

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2003
Leaving Baby
5
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 1:46pm
Has anyone else not left their baby with a sitter? My daughter is 7 months old and I have never left her with anyone other than my husband (and even then it's never been for more than about 2 hours). My husband wants to go away for a long weekend in September and leave our daughter with family and I am terrified of leaving her. I know that they will take great care of her, but I am still worried. I don't know if I'll be able to leave her and this is driving my husband nuts. How do I ween myself from my daughter without crying like a banshee?
Avatar for lori_mcbride
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
In reply to: sammer27
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 1:57pm

Hello!


I would suggest trying to leave her with your family in smaller increments before you go away for the whole weekend.

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having a baby

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
In reply to: sammer27
Thu, 04-08-2004 - 8:46am

I am the same way as you.


I have a 5 year old son, and a 4 month old. I have yet to leave either of them with anyone other then my mom. No sitter, no friends.


I know that I have to sooner or later give in and let someone watch them, but I feel if I am there then nothing will happen and if it does, I am there to make it better.


I don't think it is un-natural for any parent to feel the way you do and it is really up to you and when you feel comfortable.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
In reply to: sammer27
Thu, 04-08-2004 - 10:54am
Hi!

Well, I'm a little bit different, I guess. Mainly out of desperation! My mom lives far away and my mother-in-law passed away last year, so I have had to leave dd with different people.

Now, I suppose I could just never go out, but my husband and I were very active social people before the baby so staying home all the time (or going out only seperately) would not make us happy.

When dd was 6 months old, I went to Cancun for 4 days to be in a wedding. It was planned and paid for before I even got pregnant, so I didn't have much of a choice. But it KILLED me! I missed her sooooo much! She stayed with my neighbor during the day and my husband at night. It turned out that she caught a horrible cold and scared the bejesus out of my husband, but he never told me when I would call to check in (my hotel phone bill? Over $200!!) But I'm glad that I did it. It gave my husband one on one time with her that he wouldn't have had otherwise. We only left her overnight 1 time (our anniversary).

I have two great babysitters, both college girls and VERY expensive. You don't even want to know what we pay. We have a teenage girl next door, but I just don't trust her as much....no reason, just that with the other girls I don't worry for a second!

Really, though, for the sake of a good marriage, I think parents need to get out w/o kids, together, at least once or twice a month. Doesn't have to be a big sleepover for days, but dinner and a movie. So many women complain that their husbands only see them as "mommy"....that's because he doesn't get the chance to see you in any other way!

It's good for the kids too... I think the earlier the better. They have to learn that other people can be trustworthy.

That's my thoughts.

Melissa
Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
In reply to: sammer27
Thu, 04-08-2004 - 5:24pm
May I suggest going somewhere very nearby so you know you can go home if you want/need to? Just knowing you can go visit during the day can help you. Don't force yourself to leave. It won't be fun. This really helped me. Now I don't have a problem leaving for a couple nights at a time. Good luck! Your just a good Mommy that's all! Jules
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: sammer27
Thu, 04-08-2004 - 6:09pm
When Sept rolls around, your little one will be one. I would seriously consider going. It is my opinion that it is not good for either parents or children to not have some off time.

You and your hubby can use some time alone and your child can learn to be around other people. Use this time now to leave her with relatives for a few hours at a time. If in August you still cannot stand to be away, then you can cancel/modify your trip.

Again, this is my opinion.

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