Letter to my son
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| Mon, 04-11-2005 - 9:29pm |
This is a letter to my son for his scrapbook on wanting to be a SAHM. He's now 8 months old.
Deciding to be a stay at home mom was a no-brainer for me. I quit my job as soon as you were born. Looking back, ever since I desired to have children, I envisioned being home with them. I only hoped that I would meet someone who felt the same way. Shortly after meeting your father, we were driving in the car one day and he asked me what I thought about staying home with our future children. I told him I loved the idea and I so happy to know he'd support that lifestyle when we had children. I have to admit, it was hard to imagine not having a paycheck to spend however I wanted. I'm in no way a high maintenance woman but I love to shop. It never mattered how much something cost, if I wanted it, I got it. Your father and I did plan accordingly, we budgeted and saved. I saved a substantial amount as soon as I found out I was pregnant, my cushion money for my haircuts, makeup, clothes, trips to AC Moore, things that weren't in the budget. A strange thing happened after you were born. Material things just didn't matter to me anymore. It didn't matter that I wasn't wearing the latest fashions, I didn't need new makeup every week and I didn't have to have this or that for the house. All my attentions are now on you and you make me happy, not material things. I'm finally at that unselfish stage in my life, THE LESS YOU WANT, THE RICHER YOU ARE. Having no income is easier than I thought. Thank you Justin for letting me finally learn that.
A study was done and it was found that being a stay at home mom is like having two full time jobs. I would have to agree with that. Taking care of you isn't a difficult job at all, it's just time consuming. Each time I wish I could shut my eyes and take a nap or wish I had time to read a book or finish hearing something on TV that I am interested in only to have you screaming in my ear, I think, one day I'll wish for these moments back.
There are several reasons I wanted to stay home with you. I think the biggest reason is simply that I want to be with you, all the time. I can't wrap my brain around only seeing you in the evenings and weekends. I want to be there for every moment. Every little sound you make, every facial expression, seeing you discover something for the first time when it's been in front of you the whole time. Those smiles, I can't get enough of those sweet smiles. I genuinely love spending all my time with you. You are my little sidekick. When I do leave you to make a quick run to the store or appointment, that small amount of time apart is too long for me. I get anxious on my car ride home and run into the house, pick you up and give you a million kisses. You are my responsibility and I take that very seriously. No one else could take care of you like I can. If I were a working mom, I think that the guilt I felt for being apart from you all day long would affect our relationship. I would probably give you material things to make up for the lack of me all day. SPEND HALF THE MONEY AND TWICE THE TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN.
My mom stayed home with me & Aunt Sara. I remember those days so vividly. No alarm clocks, no good-byes for the day, taking naps in the afternoon, we just WERE. We had such good times and mom says those were the best days of her life. I foresee many happy memories for us, I know these will be the happiest days of my life as well and I hope they are yours too.
I think it's important to acknowledge your father for his support, without him, it would not be possible to be home with you so I owe him a lot for that.

created by lindaandcammommy from the signature showcase board
Beautiful letter, very well done. I'm sure your ds will be proud of you. Thanks for sharing.
Lesley
Thats sad that something so personal and beautiful is made you out to be a bad person. Shame on them.
What a beautiful letter. Those other ladies should be ashamed of themselves for being so inconsiderate. Even if they don't agree with being at home with their children, and letting others raise them, they shouldn't be so harsh! You were sharing your feelings. Sheesh, don't get me started. I'm very pro-SAHM, and see the difference it makes in my girls lives (I worked part time until dd #2 was ~8 mos. old - dd #1 had so many troubles going back to the sitter after my maternity leave that it wasn't worth the awfulness of the whole situation - home is where we all wanted to be). I, too, am lucky my dh is so supportive of my wanting to be at home while the girls are young.
Thanks for sharing the letter!