letting baby cry and pacifier use
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letting baby cry and pacifier use
| Tue, 04-20-2004 - 3:19pm |
I have read so many different opinions on this matter in various books, so I've decided I'd rather hear it from other moms who REALLY know. My 4.5 month old son is doing really well with going to sleep on his own. I have always put him down while he is still awake, and very rarely does he ever protest sleep. When he is sleepy, I put him down and he goes to sleep, whether it be for a nap or for the night. The problem is, he is still waking up several times a night. Most of the time I can just give him his pacifier and he will go back to sleep, so it's not that he is waking up hungry (which is a whole other topic in and of its own). First off, I don't know if this is normal or not, but I'm sure everyone can relate, my husband and I are wondering if it will stop. Sleep time is the only time he uses it, but if he wakes up without it, he calls out to me to put it back in his mouth. Can I let him cry it out? I feel so bad about it.
The little girl that I watch is ten months old, and though her mom says she never used a pacifier, her mom tells me that they let her cry when they put her down and when she wakes at night, and have been doing so for quite sometime, and now she sleeps 11 hours straight at night. I always feel bad about letting her cry when I put her down for her nap, but she usually stops within a few minutes, and she always wakes up happy. I'm guessing that's a good sign that it's OK to let them cry, but I'd like to hear from more moms.
I don't know how to break my son of his pacifier use. I think that is our main problem with him sleeping through the night. Does anyone have any tips or advice?

My son is 4 1/2 months old and is almost the same way as yours.
He only uses the pacifier when he is sleepy and can fall asleep quite well with it at nap time and bedtime. The only problem with him, is that he also will wake up and relize that his pacifier has fallen out and cries for it. If I go up to his room and put it back in his mouth, he goes back to sleep.
I have tried the crying it out, but I could not do it after 2 nights :( I think he just too young to understand what he needs to do or what I hope he would do. I think we will try it again once he is a little older and can understand that he does not need it to sleep.
Oh no! Your baby is still too young to go all night without a feeding, if they do that is a plus, but if your child wakes up one time at night to eat, then I don't see any harm at doing that.
My son is 20 weeks old and wakes up once a night to eat and sometimes he doesn't. I would not deny him food if that is what he really wants, no matter what books say or drs. Babies know what is good for them better then anyone else (other then mom :)
I think so far you have things going in the right direction :)
Since I've been going to college, I have actually chosen CIO (letting a baby "Cry It Out") as one of my research topics. I found many studies with crudentials that say now they think letting a baby CIO may be linked to the lack of ampathy in children. By seeing you respond his cry his whole life, he is more likely to emotionally sympathize with his peers when he gets older. Which can spill over to his adult life also. It was a very informative subject to study. If you want a book to read about this, Dr. Sears "night time parenting" is great. He tells you the psychological aspects on bonding with your baby by always responding to his cries, along with everything else you need to know.
I can tell you from 6 years of baby experiance (three children, two years each), that they WILL learn how to sleep on their own, and they are LESS likely to have night terrors and sleep disorders if they have the privilage of growing up sleeping in a loving, nurturing environment. It does seem to take a long time, but it's not very long at all in the grand scheme of it all. Looking back, the time was short. Now I have three wonderful children that go to bed on their own, and sleep through the night (occationally waking up, but that's okay because I do too!!). Around 2 years old, I have higher expectations of my child to be able to go to bed without too much protest. I feel this is a good age where they know whats going on, and Mommy and Daddy DIDN'T fall off the face of the earth! I maybe firmer with them at this age, but I still keep it flexable for issues that I might not know about, such as teething, sickness and anxiety.
My youngest used a pacifier when she was 7 months and younger. I was REALLY torn on this issue because she was strictly breastfed, and I had heard too many rumors about. I dedicated myself to ONLY giving it to her when she absolutely didn't need anything else. I would always offer her the breast before the pacifier. As it turned out, she gave it up herself when she teethed. It never was a big deal, and it actually HELPED her relationship with her father. He had an option to help her, and that meant the world to their relationship as a baby. Now she's two years old, and the biggest "daddy's girl" I've ever met! LOL Don't worry about trying to get your baby off the paci. The biggest mistake most people make with the pacifier, is using it when it's not meeting the needs the baby has, because it "shuts him up". Also, I asked my dentist when my baby was using the pacifier, and he said it shouldn't cause any problems up to a year old, even then, very minimal use shouldn't be a big deal for a little while longer. He said absolutely no pacifier or bottle after 2 yrs though.
After it is all said and done, it's not going to matter if your baby started sleeping longer periods of time at a younger age. The only thing that will affect them for the rest of their lives, is how they view sleeping and what kind of sleep environment this creates. I even heard that the rising rate of sleep disorders is now correlated with if the adults were "mothered" to sleep, or left to CIO. Very interesting info to keep in mind when you are tired and don't want to deal with a baby waking at night. Long term effects are way more important than short term "fixes".
I also can't get it out of my head, that I knew a mother one time that was told to let her baby CIO, and found out that her baby had screamed herself sick, only to be ignored, and fell asleep in her own throw up. How heartbreaking!
My youngest used a pacifier when she was 7 months and younger. I was REALLY torn on this issue because she was strictly breastfed, and I had heard too many rumors about. I dedicated myself to ONLY giving it to her when she absolutely didn't need anything else. I would always offer her the breast before the pacifier. As it turned out, she gave it up herself when she teethed. It never was a big deal, and it actually HELPED her relationship with her father. He had an option to help her, and that meant the world to their relationship as a baby. Now she's two years old, and the biggest "daddy's girl" I've ever met! LOL Don't worry about trying to get your baby off the paci. The biggest mistake most people make with the pacifier, is using it when it's not meeting the needs the baby has, because it "shuts him up". Also, I asked my dentist when my baby was using the pacifier, and he said it shouldn't cause any problems up to a year old, even then, very minimal use shouldn't be a big deal for a little while longer. He said absolutely no pacifier or bottle after 2 yrs though.
Angie
My point, however, is that it didn't take CIO for him to learn how to put himself back to sleep. I know some people feel that it's a necessary part of the learning process, and, for some babies, it may be. But I feel very good about our decision to continue parenting him to sleep until he started sleeping through the night on his own. Sure, there were nights when I was frustrated almost to tears from having to get up with him, but I still felt good knowing I was meeting his needs.
He still sleeps with his paci, BTW. I'm not going to worry about it until closer to his 2nd birthday. The biggest problem with it now is that he's seen my dh and I laugh hysterically when the dog picks it up (we have a teacup poodle who likes to carry it in his mouth the right way, like he's sucking on it), so now he deliberately throws it at the dog to try to get him to take it. It's quite funny, but not very hygenic. :)
Kara