My best friend was killed

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
My best friend was killed
9
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 3:13am
I just needed to pass this on. I found out that my best friend and her husband were killed on thier honeymoon (3 weeks after they were married) I only went to her wedding reception for about 30 min. I feel awful because i didn't even want to go. my mom was like, Amanda if you don't go to her wedding at all and God forbid, but if anything were to happen to her you'd kick yourself for the rest of you life. I'm glad i went, but i didn't get to say good-bye to her, because i thought that i'd see her again. Then 3 weeks afterwards, my mom came home early from work, in tears she walked through the door and said "I'm sorry Amanda but Adrienne's dead!" My heart sank i started balling. I asked her what happened. She said that her and Zack (her husband) were on their honeymoon in Washington State (they were camping in the mountains). Thier jeep rolled off of a 300 foot cliff(as long as a football field). they weren't wearing seatbelts so they were ejected from the vehicle. I found out later from my grandmother (she is friends with Adrienne's mom) That Zack died on impact, and that Adrienne survied the fall, however when the police arrived on scene (4 hours after the accident) there wasn't anything they could do to get her to saftey. Her chest was caved in, her body was stretched out from tumbling down the cliff. She was crying and talking. I don't know what she said, but i'm sure she was asking about Zack. She died with the police officer holding on to her hand. My point is, I felt like i needed to tell everyone this because a silly little thing coming between two friends could haunt you for the rest of your life. Make up with the people you are having troubles with before it's too late. I didn't get to tell my friend Adrienne that i was sorry for falling away from her after high school (i wanted to spend more time with my new boyfriend than her). I wish that i could have, now that i know i can't, it tears me up inside.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 7:10am
Amanda,

Oh dear I am SO sorry to hear about your friend and her DH. I know it probably doesn't help but shes not suffering anymore. At least now when you think of her remember she can hear you weither its good or bad it doesn't matter its the fact that you loved her and she knows it. Try to remember that You DID see her even if it was for a few brief moments, they will fill you heart for a life time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 8:01am
Amanda, my heart goes out to you and everyone in your friends family. I don't know how your feeling but wanted to say we are all here to "talk" if you need us.
boo4.gif





Trick or Treat

Are you a M.O.M-Mom of Many? Find other M.O.M's

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 9:53am
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend.
This is just horrible to hear about.
I hope that the family of both of them are doing ok.
I will pray for them all.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2003
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 10:45am

OMG, I am so sorry!!!!!

   

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 11:15am

amanda,


I am so sorry for your loss and the way you are feeling right now!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 10:54pm
I am so very sorry! I will pray for everyone involved ...

If you can stand it, I've a little advice. See, when I was 17, my ex-boyfriend died in a car accident. We'd had a falling out, we graduated from high school, and I went away on a trip. I always meant to call him up and clear it up between us, but I let it drag for a while. When he died, I felt terrible. So many questions! So much I had wanted to say and have heard from him!

What helped me a lot was to go to the gravesite and just talk. I actually wrote him this big old letter and just dropped it in the mail. I left it without an address, but the physical part of it, the letter-writing and such, helped me deal with it. I also adopted him in prayer. I prayed a lot for his soul and I prayed so much for his family. He was just 18 years old, everyone was devastated. And I kept them in prayer.

I journalled a lot. I filled a notebook with everything I remembered about him, and I saved it. We recently moved, and I found some passages that made me laugh of funny stuff he had said. I could've talked to someone about it, but I didn't want them to think I was a nut or harping on it. A notebook can be so therapeutic. A notebook never says, "SHUT UP! Get over it! Enough about Steve, daaaang." So I wrote it all down, worked it out.

That was a long time ago, and it still saddens me to think that his life was cut short. (He was the only person in the car accident without a seatbelt on, and he was the only one of the five who died.) But I can look back without wanting to beat myself up over never having approached him about his sudden shunning me.

My prayers are with you. If this advice helps, great ... If not, please ignore it. But do know there are prayers being said.

~ Maria

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 3:27am
Thanks for everyones prayers, thoughts, and good advice. Maria, that's a great idea about keeping a notebook. I will do that. Another thing that i thought of was losing weight. I know it sounds funny, but after high school i gained the freshman 15 :) she was about 60 lbs lighter than me beacuse she was a gymnast. Anyway, one day i was sooo upset about my weight that i told her that i didn't want to go shopping with her at the mall anymore because i couldn't fit into any of the clothes that she could. i just felt like "the fat one" whenever we went to the mall. I never went shopping with her after that because i never lost the weight. Now that i've had a baby, i've gained even more weight. So my hubby and i have been going to the gym everyday this week. Since we've moved here in England i've lost 6 lbs. I guess you could say that i now have the motivation to lose the weight.

Thanks again!

~Amanda

Avatar for krstwelch
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 8:50am
I'm so sorry so hear about your terrible loss.
 
 

Avatar for sherrieann
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 11:43am
Oh what a horrible thing to have happen. I'm sorry for your loss. What part of Washington did this happen? I have friends up there and there's always that *I wonder* question for things like this.

Hope that you find your own way to grieve in England for her.

Sherrie