My mom doesn't really do this, but MIL is good at making underhanded comments. It's gotten to the point where I find something else to do and let DH take the kids over to visit them. Getting irritated just isn't worth the effort at this point because she isn't going to change.
Mom's are good at that, don't let it get you, your doing great!
If she did such a poor job herself, it may be that now she's feeling guilty and trying to make it up to you through your daughter.
Thanks girls.