my parents
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my parents
| Tue, 09-06-2005 - 8:09am |
My weekend has been crazy!!! A friend of the family passed away and my parents announced they are separating.
Here's the thing about my folks.... I'm thrilled. My mom is from a distant planet. She thinks she is this strong ball busting, I'm ALWAYS right kinda lady. She has literally nagged and verbally beaten the life out of my dad. She has always suffered from mystery diseases, that not one doctor has EVER been able to diagnose. When I was a kid she pretty much laid on the couch for 8 straight years (no lie). Nothing is ever good enough. My poor dad feels like a door mat. For 30 years he has hung in

Sometimes there are good reasons for a divorce to take place.
I wish both your parents well and hope no matter what they do, it is for the best to all of you.
Becky,
my parents divirced when I was 9, and at the time I thought my world fell apart...fast forward to my adult years, I now think it was the very BEST thing that ever could have happened. My eyes are open to what kind of relationship they had, and how unhappy they actually were together. My parents never fought around us, niether my sister or I can ever recall a time that they raised thier voices. The problem was that there was nothing between them, not passion, no in-love love, nothing. They existed, that was it. Pretty sad if you ask me. Now that they have both been remarried, I can see how they are as happy, fullfilled, in-love people. They remain great friends with eachother, and do love each other, they just didnt have chemistry. Sometimes divorce can be a good thing. It can hopefully allow them to find happiness, and lead a life they can be happy with.
Good luck to you and your family.
Becky, I don't think your bad for thinking that way. Heck, if my dad was still alive and was going through the same thing your dad is I would want the same thing for him. Why should you stay in a marriage if you are not happy and especially if you have gone through this for as long as he has. I think everyone deserves to be with someone that appreciates them and shows it every once in awhile. Big (((HUGS))) to you, your daddy and your sister for all going through this. Please keep us posted.
Olivia
&nbs
Becky and Archie 3/1/04
and baby due Jan 26!
Becky and Archie 3/1/04
and baby due Jan 26!
I can totally relate to what you're saying. I've never wished that my parents divorced, but I would understand if they did. Our moms sound very similar. My mom doesn't have the sickness problem, but she is always tearing my dad down. I don't think he's done one thing right in the past 30 years as far as she's concerned.
On her side, he is a bullheaded guy. He likes his hobbies and spends way too much time doing them, but I honestly feel like if he had a happy home to come home to, he would stop worrying about having so much fun away from home and no including her in things.
He's got the biggest heart of anybody I know. He would give the shirt off of his back if somebody needed it. For example, when the Katrina hit, and they needed boats in New Orleans to rescue people, he left immediately to drive 4 hours to help. He's so sweet, but I guess because he doesn't ever speak up for himself, my mom just runs all over him. It's crazy if you see it. He's this strong very large man of about 280 lbs. My mom is this tall very thin lady figure that you would never think was so harsh.
Somehow it's only gotten worse in the last few years. I swear she's aged 10 years in the last 3. She's acting so old when all of her friends are always on the go and active. I think she's been so negative for so long that she's now gotten herself in to a staight that she can't get out of and it's affecting her physically.
I don't know what I would do if they got a divorce though. I would mainly just be sad for my dad. Even though I don't think she makes him all that happy, he takes marriage so seriously (as he should) and I think divorce might kill him. She has been threatening to leave him since I was in highschool, but he has never once uttered those words. It just isn't in his vocabulary.
If I knew he would move on to somebody that would really take care of him, I would probably support it, but I doubt that would happen. That would be sad.
So, understand why you feel the way you do. It would probably be better psychologically for your dad if they weren't together even though that's very hard to admit.
www.angryhousewifewithnobonbons.blogspot.com
Thanks so much for sharing your story with me.
I think in many ways if the roles were reversed and it was my mom being put down and constantly critiqued things would have changed a long time ago. But for some reason in our culture we think men should take it or handle it better. My father has also become distant and cold to my mom because he can't ask for a divorce. I wish they could start over with each other, but I don't think that's going to happen.
I really appreciate your honesty. It makes me feel a little less crazy.....But only a little!!
Becky and Archie 3/1/04
and baby due Jan 26!
Becky and Archie 3/1/04
and baby due Jan 26!