My SIL strikes again

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
My SIL strikes again
13
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 5:40pm

So I hung out with my sister today (we're very close), and I was talking to her about my evil SIL. She has a hard time with her also, although my SIL is not nasty to Maria the way she is to me. In the course of our conversation, Maria told me that my SIL sent out pictures via email to everyone in my family from a get-together we had this past Summer, and wrote captions under each picture. There was one of me and Michael hugging, and she wrote underneath "This would be a really nice picture if Sofia wasn't dressed like a teenager" and then added, "But we're used to seeing her dressed like that" or something to that effect.

As if!!

I DO NOT DRESS LIKE A TEENAGER!

If I remember correctly from this get-together, I was just in shorts and a tank top. What's the big deal??

I am not trying to be mean, but my SIL is the one who dresses inappropriately, with cleavage hanging out everywhere in front of my dad, my husband and my BILs, and stuffing herself into clothes 3 sizes too small for her. She also wears TONS of make-up all the time. She is not one to point fingers!

She also has been telling my whole family that she thinks my DH is "whipped" and that I don't treat him well, and that's a bad example for my kids.

What?? You all know how much I adore my husband!

She also hinted that she thinks Michael is somehow "less than a man" because--in so many words--he kisses my butt; and a "real" man wouldn't act that way (what way? In love with his wife? Under what Set of Rules does THAT fall?)

My sisters apparently have defended me and told her to quit her crap. Maria sent the email back to her and basically told her off, and also defended my marriage to her. My other 2 sisters kind of just roll their eyes, but one of them also wrote back that she thought the picture was beautiful and she didn't see anything wrong with the way I dress. And all 3 of them have told her to mind her own business as far as my marriage goes. As for my brother, he is just very, very quiet, and that kind of hurts me too. But Maria is not sure he even knows about the email.

I am really, really trying to blow her off, but I can admit to you all, my sister and my husband that no matter how hard I've tried over the years, she continues to have the ability to hurt my feelings. I'm not sure why. It's not like I want to be close to her or anything. I think maybe it hurts because I've connected her to my mom in my mind, and despite my tangled relationship with my mom, I do love my mother. And it also just hurts when people target you like that.

Sofia




Photobucket

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 8:52am

What a hag!! I have to admit my first instinct is to give it right back to her. Only because you've tried talking to them and it hasn't worked. I had a problem with a family member once and I barred them from my house for a long time, lol, so I'm not one for taking that kind of crap. This person is now allowed back and treats me with quite a bit more respect, so this worked for me, but I can see how it could make some situations much worse. I don't know what to tell you to do. I think, though, you really shouldn't have to put up with this and if your brother isn't going to help you and stand up to her you have to stand up for yourself. And I'm sorry your mom is taking her nutty ramblings seriously, that has to make it soooo much worse. ((((((HUGS))))))

Erin

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 1:19pm
darlin you do NOT need this lady in your life!!!! I know you love your brother, but until he can deal with this the way it should be dealt with, you need to cut them out of your life. I'm not promising it won't hurt... but trust me it's for the best. I've had a few situations in my life where I've had to do that... both with family and with friends. It was very painful, but I was tired of being ripped to shreds and made to feel like garbage every time I interacted with them. Michael and the kids are your family, and the relationship you have with them is more important than any other relationships... more than with your mom or your brother. Just focus on them and forget about your SIL. She's not worth your time and energy to even get upset over. Don't even bother reading her emails... block them if you can, or make it so that they are automatically deleted. The less interactions you have with her the better. Talking is doing no good, so don't waste your time. You might even mention to your sisters that during family gatherings, you prefer not to be around your SIL b/c you don't want to deal with her negativity and hurtful attitude. I've had to do this with my own mother... I love my mom dearly, but for a few years she was a really horrible person. It really hurt, but now we are closer than before. I can't promise you that this will happen for you and your brother, but I can promise that you will become a much stronger person.
love ya
(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingPhotobucket - Video and Image HostingPhotobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image HostingPhotobucket - Video and Image HostingPhotobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image HostingPhotobucket - Video and Image HostingPhotobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image HostingPhotobucket - Video and Image HostingPhotobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image HostingPhotobucket - Video and Image HostingPhotobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image HostingPhotobucket - Video and Image Hosting



Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 1:37pm

Sofia, hey I think you are doing exactly what she wants you to do...Get mad! To me, I think she is jealous of you and what you have. Let her be. I live by the psychological words many times that..."if you ingnore it, it will go away." JMO, change the subject when it is discussed, ignore her comments, and be happy with what you have got and the fact that someone is jealous of that. Haven't you and Michael confronted her and your brother many times before and she continues? Maybe no emotion and no "attention" to her is the answer.

Hope it gets better for you soon!

Pages