Need advice ...

Avatar for kaboom52
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Need advice ...
9
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 10:31am
Many of you have probably taken care of other kids as a WAHM.

Im wondering how you would handle a friend telling you that they wanted to change sitters.

My friend watches my baby for me but the drive is just too far.

How do you think I should tell her?

KB

Pregnancy%20ticker

 
Avatar for my3girls2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 11:01am
I think you just need to be honest with her,, but it is hard not to take personaly, I have done in hme daycare for 12 years now, and I don't even watch family or friends anymore but I did have this happen to me and even though I know she just thought the drive was too long I did wonder if there was something else,,, be very nice and tell her how you loved her care it is just expensive to drive, etc. GL,
Kim~
Avatar for kaboom52
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 11:12am
Just curious... why dont you watch family/friends anymore? Too much stress?

Believe me .. I understand. Heheh

There are other issues but I think the long drive makes the other issues seem much more "important" than they really are.

Its just very hard to disappoint a friend.

KB

Pregnancy%20ticker

 
Avatar for my3girls2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 11:46am
well unfortunly a lot of things happen, family thinks that because you are home,, that they can run here or run there
Avatar for kaboom52
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 1:50pm
Exactly. I totally understand that.

I think I will try to approach her from the "what is best for my child" standpoint. She is a friend and I hope she can understand that the new environment Im sending my baby to is better for the baby and the baby's parents. And we all know that when the parents are happy the baby is happier. LOL

I hesitate to be more detailed on a public forum but there are many reasons why this change is going to be better for everyone involved.

Good Luck to you as a SAHM. Know that I am insanely jealous! :) In a year or two I should be able to be at home too!

Thanks for the viewpoint/advice I think it helped.

KB

Pregnancy%20ticker

 
Avatar for my3girls2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 2:31pm
I should also say she may be upset that you already have someone else,, knowing that you were un happy with her or whatever,, you looked and founf someone all with out her knowing,, if you pay her I would try to atleast give her a 2 or 3 week notice so that she can catch up on last minute
Avatar for kaboom52
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 10:32am
Actually, I didnt look for anyone else. The option just came up last week and it made me have to honestly decide that it was time to change things while I had the option open to me.

I am giving her a month to find another baby or source of income. I think that is more than fair. To be honest, I dont think she would have given me the same if the roles were switched.

As it was, she WAS mad. And she tried to argue with me about my decision. It didnt go well . Basically her take on the situation only made my reslove stronger. Its sad but, we have to do what is best for our kids.

Im just not very good at being the one who causes conflict. Im usually the one who fixes things. :(

Thanks for the input!

KB

Pregnancy%20ticker

 
Avatar for my3girls2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 10:43am
oh I am sorry it did not go well and a month is a great amount of time,, I kind of figured she would not be happy but you have to do what you have to do,,, gl, it must be hard now going there to drop off and pick up,,
Kim~
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 12:35pm
Just so everyone who reads this will know the truth about this situation. I am the former babysitter and I have some things to say. First and foremost if she thought her child needed a different situation she should have told me when she started thinking about it instead of when she had already decided to remove her from me. I had 2 different opportunities in the recent past to keep 2 other children whose parents were going to pay me more money and be more respectful of my time. I even told the mother about this opportunity and she seemed grateful that I didn't take it. I turned both of these people down out of a loyalty to my friend and her child because I thought if I were to keep 2 more kids, her little girl would not get enough attention and it would be like commercial daycare (something we all like to avoid)and I thought this little girl really needed me and I cared a great deal for her and I still do. As for her comment about me giving her the same time if the roles were switched, well that was just mean and untrue, obviously I didn't ever need to give her notice for anything because I turned down my opportunities to continue caring for her child. The parents of this child had also made several trips to my house to measure the time and distance before I quit my retail job to care for their child so there was no reason to be surprised by distance or trip time when she was left in my care. As I told the mother, if I knew she was going to pull out of the deal like she did I would have stayed at my retail job a little longer and found someone who was more dependable. There are a lot of things about this situation that you readers don't know and I will not post them so as not to embarass the mother of this little girl but I just wanted to clear some of this up because the was this was posted was made to make me look bad and it just isn't true. And by the way, of course I didn't take it well, I had been saving money like crazy and was just about to make a big purchase that was important to my health and I was depending on my next months pay for childcare to get me through not to mention this news was dropped on me the day after my birthday!


Edited 6/15/2004 1:05 pm ET ET by korriee
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 4:36pm
I guess Kahboom52's silence speaks for itself huh?