Need advice bad

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2007
Need advice bad
15
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 8:23pm

I've been a lurker on this board for a while, and I thought I could ask you for some advice. My name is Elizabeth, and I'm mom to a gorgeous baby boy age 5 months. My DH and I have been married for 2 years. My problem is he has 2 kids from another marriage, a boy and a girl, ages 9 and 13 and they completely drive me nuts. I tried when we were first together to be a good friend to them, but they never accepted me as part of their lives and resent me for marrying their dad. I just gave up. My husband works long hours and I'm alone with them. They're mom only sees them on the weekends, and she's a total mess. I can't stand her. She's the ex from he**! She and I don't get along. My stepkids are a lot like her. They are ungrateful and demanding. When I look at them, I'm reminded of my DH's former marriage and relationship with his ex, because they even look like her. Frankly, I admit I'm jealous of my DH's relationship with my stepkids. I feel he puts them first and loves them most and I would just give anything to have him not have kids from a past marriage. It's really hard. It's so hard I find myself drinking a little during the day and into the evening to get myself through. Just a shot here and there, or one or two drinks, nothing major. I'm really unhappy. I love my son so much, and my husband too, and I want to stay home with my son, but I'm considering putting him in daycare and going back to work because I can't stand being around my stepkids anymore. If I did that, they would be latch-key kids though, because they're too old for daycare, and I don't even trust them in our house without me.

I welcome any advice you can give me.

Elizabeth

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 7:53pm

I'm sorry, but are you for real?


Not everyone has the money or the desire to simply send the kids away when they are bored with them, or if they dont fit into thier perfect idea of thier world. I think that Elizabeth sounds like she is in a postition that could be very serious, and honestly, I cant see how one thing you said to her could be of any help.


I know I shouldnt respond to this, but I cant help it... I agree with what Sofia saidm you need to work on being compassionate.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2005
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 8:51pm

Hi Ladies~


We'd just like to take a moment to remind you that this is a support board. Please remember to abide by the Terms of Service and the Rules of Play


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2004
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 11:52pm
Well, to put this bluntly and Im sorry if this offends you, but you signed up for this when you married a man that was divorced with children. You need to "man" up and accept the responsibilites that you married into, you knew he had children and part of your "job" is to be a mother to them. As for resenting the kids because they look like his ex wife? Are you serious?? And the

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 3:14am
Kate, have I told you today how much I love you ????LOL
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2007
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 8:19am
Agreed -- better to be in daycare than with a mom who either (i) dislikes her children/stepchildren or (ii) spends hours each day posting, telling herself her children are better off watching her type endlessly than learning something in daycare.

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