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| Tue, 10-17-2006 - 8:58am |
Good morning everybody-
I'm hoping to get any and all thoughts and opinions on this subject....good,bad, and indifferent.
I'm a transplanted American in Canada. I've been here for a little over 4 years and I'm a sahm, obviously but, I would love to work part-time just to feel like I'm contributing a bit more but, I have had no luck in finding a job in 10 months so I thought I would take a few courses at the college and then I came across an article in the paper last night about Foster parents. The thought has always been in the back of my mind to do this. I'm 30 yrs old. I've been with my hubby for almost 9 yrs and our girls are 7 and almost 3.
Should I, at the very least, look into it?
Should I talk to my hubby about it first?
Should I research the whole idea before saying anything to anybody?
Thanks for your thoughts in advance- Meghan

Hmmmm. I think being a foster parent would be a wonderful thing to do, but not sure I'd do it simply as a source of income. If it's something you've wanted to do anyway, though, why not?? The only advice I'd give is make sure your dh is fully on board with the idea, because it's a commitment for your whole family, not just you. This is something that affects you, your husband and your kids, hopefully postitively, but maybe not. Be sure you want to do it, it's not fair to the child to take them in and then find you've bit off more than you can chew and have to shuffle the child off to yet another foster home.
G/L with your decision
Erin
I don't know what the laws are, but I for some reason remember being told that one couldn't be a foster parent with children in the house under either 5 or 10. I don't remember which age, or where I heard that, but it's something that they would tell you if you looked into it.
I personally think it is a bad idea--for now. To take a child when your own are either teens or grown and out of the house is a great benevolent act. Now though, your children need all of your attention and none of the chaos that bringing a foster child into the home will cause. They should not compete with a stranger for your time and attention. And the foster child will need so much from you that you may not have to fully offer.
This is my opinion. I wouldn't do it now. There is too much risk to your own children, too much required of you that you don't have to give, because you're giving it to your own right now. Ten plus years from now though it might be highly doable and less of a destruction to your own family.
I had a friend growing up who's mom did it for the money and I always thought that it was wrong to make money off of kids. I was somewhere a year or two ago with my younger daughter and a man walked in with his foster son, dropped him off and said that he would be back later and my heart broke for that little boy!! So, I certainly would not be doing it for the money. I was just thinking, if it's something that I want to do then why not? But then my thoughts turn to my girls and husband. He had said to me once, "I don't think I could do it because what if you get attached and then the child has to leave." Of course that thought has crossed my mind and then my girls. I obviously could not bring a boy into the home. It would have to be a little girl around their ages and what if it's a troubled child and my girls suffer in the long run. Boy, it's a harder decision than I thought.
I think part of it may be too, that I would love to have another baby but, my hubby is "fixed", so that means no more babies for me. He's 14yrs older than me.
Maybe I better sleep on it.
Thank you guys for your opinions though. You certainly gave me things to think about-
Meghan
Well first I would probably mention your idea to hubby. Then if he seems keen on you looking into it then find out all you can. Then you will know if it is possible or if it is something you want to do.
Wendy
Yes, I think you should look into it if you feel in your heart that you have room to do something like this. But before you even look into it, I'd run it by your husband. He not only has to be on board, but he will be the foster parent too, so that's the first step. I definitely wouldn't do it just for the money. If you feel you're being called to help kids who are in need and unable to be with their own parents for whatever reason, that's very admirable. Just realize that it may be a big stress on your own family, and you need their full support and help.
I disagree that it would inevitably be bad for your kids even if it went well, though. I think it could be a wonderful learning experience for them. You will be setting an incredible example for them of giving and sharing and helping those less fortunate. What an amazing gift to give them. Plus they will be learning to share their hearts and lives, too. Something that can never be a bad thing. But if it goes badly, it could be a real strain for all of you, so it's sort of a gamble.
God bless you for being so generous-hearted!
Sofia
Being a foster parent is an amazing thing to do but not the easiest way to make $$$.
I hope, one day, we can do this for a child who needs love and a home.
If anything, look into it and go from there. No harm in looking and doing some research.
Good luck.