Need your help TMI
Find a Conversation
Need your help TMI
| Thu, 08-19-2004 - 9:45pm |
Ok.... here is the deal.
My son recenlty came across a personal item of my husband and I's. He likes to watch tapes in our room since it is the only VCR we have, and somehow found a tape of ours.
We hide all our personal things, but some how he found them and now I have no clue what to do.
He saw something I do not think he is ready for. But now he is interested in it and wants to know things and so forth, curious about naked people...
UGH, I feel like this is all my fault. I should have been more careful about things like this, but since it was our room and hidden as best as I thought we could, I did not think much about it.
Please help me on what to do about this. I am hoping he will just forget about seeing it and go on. But what happens if he does not?
Thanks so much for your advice on this and please do not bash me for this post...........
My son recenlty came across a personal item of my husband and I's. He likes to watch tapes in our room since it is the only VCR we have, and somehow found a tape of ours.
We hide all our personal things, but some how he found them and now I have no clue what to do.
He saw something I do not think he is ready for. But now he is interested in it and wants to know things and so forth, curious about naked people...
UGH, I feel like this is all my fault. I should have been more careful about things like this, but since it was our room and hidden as best as I thought we could, I did not think much about it.
Please help me on what to do about this. I am hoping he will just forget about seeing it and go on. But what happens if he does not?
Thanks so much for your advice on this and please do not bash me for this post...........



Pages
btw, if he saw something really unique or freaky i'm not sure what you should do. we got caught in a rather convoluted position, but we chose not to go into how only really flexible people should do that!! we just discussed the 'ins and outs' in general terms. but if he caught something really interesting you'll want to make it very clear that that is for adults only and not something that everyone does.
my greatest fear was that now that she was over-informed she would be telling all her friends or worse yet SHOWING them, but it's proven to be an unfounded fear. just make sure you discuss appropriatness and i think he'll be fine.
and top shelf on the closet for that stuff in the future!!! roflol.
I know it will be me in a couple of years, and you will be laughing at me! I remember finding my mom's plastic "man-part toy" when I was 9. (Mom was single at that time) and I was horrified. She gave me the sex talk and it was ok. How old is he again??? Try talking to him I guess. I don't know, are there books out there geared towards kids and the birds and the bees?
I don't know what to say, all I can do is giggle, I needed a good laugh today, thank-you!!! And by the way, we're probably all wondering now, I know I am, was it a store bought video, or homemade!!! JK!!!!
My second reaction is to give you a pat on the shoulder and say that you should please try not be too hard on yourself. A definite DOH! ... very awkward ... But hey ... the other ladies are right -- DS will be fine.
As a general rule, I try to keep myself from conveying shame vibes whenever anything body/reprodution related comes up. I don't know what the experts recommend, but I'd bet they'd say that ds learns as much or more from your reaction than from what he saw. And that if you make a big hairy crisis out of this (with your distress -- even unspoken), you will only (unintentionally) draw a big, flashing emphatic circle around something he didn't totally understand and you will send the wrong message.
I'd give 'em the bare, bare facts ... 'when two people love eachother ...' and emphasize the PRIVATE nature of these things ... tell him you will answer all of his questions anytime (because you want him to feel comfortable enough to bring these things to you now and especially later ... and now is when you lay the foundation for a good rapport on the subject). Then *try* to put your embarrassment behind you and keep those personal items up high! LOL!
Depending on DS's age, I'd find some books that suit your style and comfort-level and his attention-level and leave them lying around. Then later, read them together and give an opportunity for discussion. I am on vacation and I saw this book yesterday:
Mommy Laid an Egg! or Where Do Babies Come From! by Babette Cole
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0811813193/qid=1092985437/sr=ka-1/ref=pd_ka_1/104-8830375-9116745
I barely had a chance to browse it (small kids and recreational shopping don't mix), but it looked interesing ... silly yet anatomically correct. It got mixed reviews on amazon. So I don't know. Maybe other moms have some suggestions for titles.
Good luck! Cheers.
New and improved siggy coming soon (which could mean after Christmas)
You guys sure are awesome and make me feel much better about this situation.
Clarity, your post was too funny and hearing what your daughter said sure made me laugh. Thanks for the giggles.
I was a little worried about posting this on the board, since some people take things the wrong way and start bashing. I just did not want to look like a horrible mom.
Thanks again for all the advice on how to handle this and the laughs.
Okay Mel...WAS it homeade? LOL were not going to get to know you well by chance one evening surfing the web are we? LOL
I have to say that when Matt was four he caught mom and dad in a VERY awkward position. I cried because I was so embarassed, I thought I was going to scar my baby for life! I told my dh that we were freaks and that we were only going to stick to the missionary position from now on so that in case ds walks in we can lovingly explain about making love....not doing the nasty bump and grind with mommy's legs in a position only seen in the circus!!!! LOL
After we calmed down we calmly explained that mom and dads love each other and like to be close. This led to him asking about the birds and bees, to which we explained very simply that moms and dads do a special "hug" with there clothes off, but that only moms and dads are allowed to do this.
The funniest part about this is that we know for sure that this night resulted in NICK! LOL So my poor Matt was an unwilling witness in the conceving of his baby brother! LOL
Are you a M.O.M-Mom of Many? Find other M.O.M's
>>>I'd give 'em the bare, bare facts ... 'when two people love eachother ...'
how exactly were you going to finish that sentence? "when two people love each other very much....they watch PORN together??!?!"
i'm sorry, i really really am, but that is just tooo funny!!
OMG!!!!!
Pages