Need your opinion and advice maybe tmi
Find a Conversation
Need your opinion and advice maybe tmi
| Wed, 07-12-2006 - 4:36pm |
OK,
My 3.5 year old son has been VERY preoccupied with his "private"area. He keeps talking about privates, touching himself and touching others there. He has like tried to grab me there and I try not to make a big deal about it. He even grabbed my mom there yesterday! Im trying not to make it a big deal, just tell him that he is not allowed to touch others there and no one is allowed to touch him there. And if that happens, come tell me right away because it's not right. Is it his age? He has never acted this way before. He even tried to touch the baby there, then he laughs and says" I got his privates". I asked him who taught him this and he tells me his cousin touched him there. I said well, what did your cousin do--and he showed me, and said he touched him there. I talked to my sister and asked what was going on and she said she didnt know, and would ask her son. My nephews are soo preoccupied with their privates and butts, thats all they talk about! I know, it's gross. I just need some opionions and advice on how to deal with this! thanks
My 3.5 year old son has been VERY preoccupied with his "private"area. He keeps talking about privates, touching himself and touching others there. He has like tried to grab me there and I try not to make a big deal about it. He even grabbed my mom there yesterday! Im trying not to make it a big deal, just tell him that he is not allowed to touch others there and no one is allowed to touch him there. And if that happens, come tell me right away because it's not right. Is it his age? He has never acted this way before. He even tried to touch the baby there, then he laughs and says" I got his privates". I asked him who taught him this and he tells me his cousin touched him there. I said well, what did your cousin do--and he showed me, and said he touched him there. I talked to my sister and asked what was going on and she said she didnt know, and would ask her son. My nephews are soo preoccupied with their privates and butts, thats all they talk about! I know, it's gross. I just need some opionions and advice on how to deal with this! thanks

Pages
His cousins are older, they are ages, 7, 9,10, and they are all boys. When he is around them, I make sure Im watching Dom closely. But, I can't be with him the WHOLE time he is around them, ya know? I got fed up today and told him I dont even want him to talk about private areas anymore! lol. I just think he's soo young and innocent...thanks for your opinion :)
Hmm. . . How old is his cousin?
I think you should investigate a little further. It might be nothing to worry about, just healthy curiosity. On the other hand, if he's grabbing others, it seems maybe he learned that from someone. Someone might have grabbed him. I'd come down pretty hard on that. I wouldn't make it seem dirty or shame him, but I'd definitely let him know in no uncertain terms that this is NOT appropriate.
My sons touch themselves. They don't touch each other. They do it in the bathtub, or just when they're sitting around. I think they're so oblivious to it, not even realizing what they're doing. They just do it because it feels good. I've had to remind them never to do it in front of other people.
Boys are wired differently. Because it's "all out there" it's not as personal a thing for them as it is for girls, IMHO. But they have to learn what's appropriate and what's not. And the fact that he's grabbing you and others would set off a few alarm bells in my mind if I were his mom.
JMHO!!
Sofia
I think you did what is right letting him know its not okay to touch people that way and if anyone does it to him, to let you know.
I am not sure if Andrew through that stage quite like that. I know he was observant that he had one and was fascinated with it for awhile, but never to the point of touching other people.
My middle son will be 4 in September. Lets just say, he sees his penis like and other body part. Sometimes he is a little too open about it, and we correct him. I think its normal for little boys to act this way about their penises (sp?), from what I've heard anyway. My friends little boy was 4 1/2 when he put his hand in his pants and said,"Mom, its hard like a stone", and my son sometimes points to the baby's when hes getting his diaper changed and says, "Look its Mason's penis." Sometimes when he is dancing he tells me he is shaking his penis. We have always been open with our kids and we don't give their genitals (sp?) cutsie names, we tell them what they are, whats appropriate, bad touch, all those kids of things. All in hopes that they will know their bodies, and know whats wrong and right. If that makes any since. I hope this helps, and makes you feel better. But if you do think something is not right about the cousins, do not keep silent. IMO, boys are WAY more open about their privates than girls are, throughout their whole lives! lol
Chrissy
I dont think its the point of a child being open that they have one, and touching it. Its the point that now he wants to touch other peoples like it is okay because it was done to him.
IMO that is not okay. Yes, its okay to be curious and touch yourself, but not other peole, not like that.
Edited 7/12/2006 5:58 pm ET by chrise-k
The other sister there is no point in talking to because she is oblivious and doesnt discipline her kids. I have made comments to her about how she raises them and she has told me its none of my business. I mean her kids swear, say the F word, so there are other issues there.
From now on when we are together with them, I will make sure someone is with Dom the whole time either me or my dh. Me and my husband will talk to Dom about this and I think I have made it clear to him it is not right and to leave his hands to himself. Thanks everyone for your opinions and advice!
Pages