Needing words of encouragement
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| Thu, 05-06-2004 - 12:34pm |
I am pretty new to this board. I have been a SAHM for 3 years now. My children are 9,4,2,6 weeks. I have been feeling pretty down latley part in due from just having a baby. My 4 year old was Dx with Leukemia last dec and though he is good I am reminded everyday that he has cancer. Cancer? how fare is that? I felt guilty for being so happy after I had his brother while my baby was enduring chemo and not feeling well. I feel guilty that he has it. I feel guilty when I get mad at him. My husband has slept in our bed 3 times in 6 weeks. We are in no way heading towards divorce, we are just exausted. I am only 27 yrs old. I am not askin for pitty, Just that someone out there understands me. I love being at home and pulled my son from preschool when he got Dx. I just need some private time. Our kids refuse to go to dad for anything. I also nurse my youngest. My 9 yr old is having a hard time in certain subjects in school, and I havent been able to give him my full attention in a while. Then my 2 yr old DD wants to be held and cuddled, but I feel like I always have the baby in hand. I do as I am trying to type this one handed. I love all my kids soooo much. I just feel overwhelmed, and that "what ifs" about my son and his cancer treatments are killing me. I worry everyday about him. I dont want to feel so sad anymore. I guess this is more of a vent. Thanks for reading this.

I don't have anything of importance to say...I don't really know what to say. I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. You sound like a wonderful mother and even though you feel guilty I know that you are doing your best for each and every one of your children. Just keep doing what you can...the most important thing is that each child knows they are loved and it sounds like you are doing a great job of that. Don't forget to take care of yourself in the midst of all of this. Maybe you and DH can come up with things that the kids see Daddy for and things that they see Mommy for. That way if they REALLY need something and its not in your "area" then they have to see Daddy to get that need fulfilled. Just an idea. I don't know if it will help or not.
Hugs!
Meg
Just take one day at a time when it's overwhelming. Do what you can and hopefully everything else will work out or wait.
Congratulations on your new baby. I'm sure a new baby is hard on the other kids because they now see mommy stretched more thin than before. As long as you do find some time to spend alone with each as often as possible they should be ok.
I also assume that you have some family or friends that can give a hand sometimes? Take advantage of that if you can.
Good luck!
But that is no help when you have to get through it now.
What you need is actual physical and emotional help. When I went through it, I refused to let anyone help me. I didn't want to hire a person to help because I thought it would make me a bad mother. I didn't see someone to talk to because I thought I could get through it myself. Did I get through it? Sure. But it took an emotional toll on me that I could have lessened if I had help.
Lean on friends. Ask for help. That is what they are there for. If you have to, hire someone to take the burden off of you a little. Talk to a clergy member or a professional. Since you are nursing, I know that many meds are off limits but there are some you can take. If you don't want to (and I understand), then at least talking it out will help.
Good luck and we are here for you.
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlfamilymatt/
Come visit me!
Violet
I can't evern pretend to know what you are going through with Zachary..went to his website..What a Doll!!!
I could not help but notice your refrences to religion on his page, and as a christian I have to tell you there is only one person you can rely on, you have to give all this over to god. I would start by telling him that whatever it is he is trying to teach you...well enough already! lol
I have a home childcare and do know what it is like to have so many children around. Organization is a big key to a succesful day. I have charts and schedule's for EVERYTHING!!
I did do childcare while trying to breastfeed my now 2 year old..and I have to tell you it's like living in a dream world. No Sleep and a million and one things that go with that alone.
Is there any way you could hire some help? maybe even a college student just to come in a few hours to let you take a bath and get a breather? Maybe if you have a church home you could talk to someone about some help in the house? It is okay to ask for help.
oh one last thing..my favorite website for keeping me organized..go to ..flylady.net
they are great helping to keep home organized!
I will be praying for zachary and you family, I hope that you can be blessed with help soon!!
TRAci mom of 2 and maybe 3
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My eyes welled up with tears as I read your post and your web page. I have a four year old also, and just the thought of going through something like that rips my heart out. I can't imagine what you are going through.
I can only say that you and Zack and your family will be in our prayers. I believe that everything happens for a reason. My husband was diagnosed with Hydrocephalus (water on the brain) at age 12. The doctors had never heard of this happening at this age, as this usually occurs in-utero (sp?). Anyway, over the next 4 years he had to have 15 operations on his head (shunt revisions). He is such an amazing person because of the challenges that he went through. His outlook on life is so different than most people's, and his attitude is absolutely incredible. Every Neuro-surgeon that he's talked to over the years is shocked that PHYSICALLY he is doing so well.
Just keep praising God for Zack's healing, and pray for peace.
God bless,
Desiree