new member needs sleep help - 9 mo old

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2004
new member needs sleep help - 9 mo old
8
Fri, 09-03-2004 - 6:20pm
HI I AM A NEW MEMBER NEEDING MAJOR HELP. MY SON IS 9 MONTHS OLD AND DOING WELL, BUT WE HAVE ONE PROBLEM. EVERY TIME I LAY HIM DOWN IN HIS CRIB TO TAKE A NAP OR FOR THE NIGHT HE ROLLS OVER AND CRAWLS AROUND OR PULLS HIMSELF UP TO STANDING. IT HAS BEEN TAKING AT LEAST 30 MINUTES AND ME LAYING HIM DOWN 60 OR MORE TIMES BEFORE HE GOES TO SLEEP. THEN ONCE OR UP TO 4 TIMES (ITS VERY ERRATIC) PER NIGHT HE WAKES UP AND STANDS UP AND CRIES BECAUSE HE CANT GET BACK DOWN. I GO IN GIVE BACK HIS PACIFIER AND LAY HIM DOWN. ITS MAKING ME CRAZY BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO TO STOP THIS STRUGGLE. PLEASE HELP!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Sat, 09-04-2004 - 6:18am
Oh, that's hard on you! When my dd was that age she had a crib light that played music whenever she cried and it lit up, that usually entertained her until she went back to sleep. Ds however, was harder (don't know if it's because I lost the will to let the baby cry or what). We've only recently gotten him to fall asleep without us in his room. We used to hold him until he fell asleep, then moved on to sitting on his floor until he was asleep. (That sometimes took 30-60 min). DH is away and I wasn't having the tolerance for that anymore, so I firmly told him he was a big boy and that I would be in the next room. Hugged him, kissed him, and only responded if he was wailing (which he almost never did, surprisingly) or if he wanted water (but this was not allowed to be repeated again and again). We also started new nighttime rituals, bath and story time. This let him know it was time to go to sleep. It took about a week before he didn't protest too much. But he's almost three (in Oct.) For your little one, I read the what to expect book and it says to make sure they are comfy (not wet, cold, etc) and stroke or pat until they are calm (not asleep) and then leave. If they cry, wait 5 then go in and calm, adding five minutes each time. (sounded like a lot of not sleeping to me:) Course, we still have problems with our DS leaving his bed in the middle of the night and crawling into bed with us. I sometimes don't even wake when he does this. *shrugging* I guess he'll grow out of it eventually. *L* Good luck, I am sorry I probably wasn't much help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Sat, 09-04-2004 - 9:25pm
With both our boys we just had them learn to put themselves back to sleep..whether that meant falling from standing or sliding down the crib bars. It took them about a week to get it. Often they cried but we had a rule that we would only go to them if they sounded like they were in true pain or cried longer than 10 -15 mins consistently. With the water we put non spill cups in the crib with them, the cups would last until morning every time. Just a few ideas.

Hope they help (((Hugs)))

Nikki
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 11:39am
Gosh,

I feel sort of like a mean mom here... I have a 9 1/2 month old son. As long as I know he is clean, feed, and should be fine (not sick) I make my little one cry until he is able to get himself back to sleep. I never got in the habit of holding my baby until he fell asleep. I always put him in the crib while he is still awake, so he is able to get himself to sleep. I run into some issues when he wakes up in the middle of the night.

If you want him to settle himself/herself and make your life easier you will have to suffer through some painful cries/screams. I have had my son cry for about 90 minutes the first night, but by the 3rd night he was able to get himself back to sleep in the middle of the night.

Right now I'm in the process of trying to break the 4:30 feeding. He tends to go to bed anywhere from 7:00 - 8:00, but with out a doubt he will wake up at 4:30 to get a bottle and then go back to sleep for a few more hours. I'm on my 3rd night tonight. This morning at least he only cried about 3 minutes at 4:30 and then cried at 5:30.

I can totally picture what you are describing that your baby is doing, but he is also getting to the stage where he/she understand cause and effect and as long as you continue doing what you are doing - he/she will continue doing the same. I wish you luck because there is nothing more painful then to hear you little one crying/screamming for you.

Sometimes parenting is so hard.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 1:34pm
you're not a mean mom!!!!!

I did the same thing with dd from day 1. The first few nights were tough, but after that, she's been a great sleeper (unless she's teething!!!)

I have always put her to bed while she's awake. If she happens to fall asleep on me before making it to her bed, I gently wake her up as I take her to her room, place her in bed, turn her mobile on and leave the room. Now when she wakes in the night, she can go back to sleep. Some people don't beleive me, but it's what I do!!!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 10:15pm
Our first learned to put himself to sleep at 1 1/2 months and slept through the night at 3 months after his colic stopped. Our second learned to put himself to sleep by 1 1/2 months too and slept through the night starting about the same time. By putting to sleep I mean we put him in his crib with a cd of enya or motzart playing and closed the door and didn't come back til morning. We still use same routine now at 15 and 30 months.

Nikki

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2004
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 5:05pm
Thank you to all that posted a reply to my problem. I am taking your suggestions and applying them in part. It is slowly improving and it feels good to know you all took the time to write. Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2004
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 9:19pm
I dont know if this will help or how agressive you would like to treat this problem but with my first son he was spoiled and would not go to sleep by himself, I tried this and it worked but before I start this is hard on the ears and the heart. I read this in a book and it worked like a dream. After you are done nursing or after a bottle and you know that he is tired go into his room sit with him in a chair for 5 mins then you tell him it is night night time give him a kiss tell him you love him and then gently put him in his crib. Touch his head again and leave. Now here comes the hard part. You are going to have to let him cry for 5 mins for 15 mins go in every 5 mins and touch him and put him back down to the lying position tell him you love him and leave do this 3 times after the 3rd time increase the time away to 10 min 3 times again repeat going in and putting him down telling him you love him and leaving, then increase this again to 15 mins 3 times it should not come to this but if it does then go for it. I am not telling you that this is only going to take you one night but after a few nights of this it should be alot easier he will cry and cry hard so be prepared it helps if you have someone with you to help you stay out of the room for the full time and make sure that it is the same person going in one the day you do it. I really hope this works for you it did for us and he was sleeping through the night shortly after that you will also do this if he wakes up in the night and take it from me do it on the weekend so someone can watch him in the morning so you can catch up on your sleep. Hugs to you hope this is some help Chris20042
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2003
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 1:53am

I tried the sleep training with my kids and absolutely couldn't stick it out.