Normal behavior??
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| Tue, 09-26-2006 - 2:06pm |
Good afternoon gals!
I have a problem. Dh recently bought me a car and its great that I can take Danielle places. The only problem is everywhere we go she is a TERROR!
We take her to Gymboree and swimming twice a week which is great but the rest of the days I dont know what to do with her! I dont see a playgroup in my area and really dont want to venture into Manhattan if I dont have to.
If I try and take her for a walk in the stroller she doesnt last long even with her favorite toys and cookie, she proceeds to stand up in the stroller.
Sometimes she just wants me to put a dvd on for her and it seems like she doesnt want to leave the house sometimes!
We went to storytime today and she wanted me to walk her all over the store, which is fine but then she proceeded to take all the books, cd's and toys off the shelves, when I told her no and put everything back she threw herself on the floor and threw a tantrum, then she straightened her back to make it hard for me to pick her up.
Then we went to a deli to get food, not only would she not let me wait in line she wouldnt let me eat, I tried to feed her and she ate a little then threw her food and mine on the floor. She gets soo much love from me and my hubby, is this normal behavior? What can I do if anything to make it easier? Im just so clueless!
Also, Im soo miserable when shes miserable!
PS My daughter is 13 months old
Thanks!!!
Monica


((((((((Monica))))))) I'm sorry you're in this position. It is totally normal for that age, up until almost 4 in some kids. (Don't let that scare you! All kids are different and maybe Danielle will grow out of it by the time she's 2?? Who knows.) I have two boys, ages 3 and 1, so I've been through it, too.
If I may offer advice... (If you didn't want advice, then please disregard and accept my apologies for assuming that you did.) It sounds like all the of the love you give her is great!!! Part of love as a parent is boundaries. It sounds like Danielle doesn't know where her boundaries are, or they keep changing, or they're too relaxed for a 13 month old. Making boundaries (and sticking to them, especially in public) is easier said than done. But remember - no matter what people say to or about you, she is YOUR daughter and YOU are the only one responsible for her, nobody else will have to answer to her later on about how she was raised. I've gotten bad looks from people for putting my son in time-out in the corner at the store, but once he calmed down and finished the time-out
Hi Monica:
Welcome to the terrible twos...they last too long some days! My girls are now 14 and 13, but boy I remember those tantrums! My girls are 18 months apart, so when Hannah was 13 months, I was a good 5 months pregnant - AND TIRED. What worked for me was not leaving the house for a week. No park, no walk, no grocery store with her, no nothing. Everytime she would ask to go somwhere, I would say, "Gee, I'd love to, but you didn't behave last time, remember? Maybe we can try again next week, but not today."
I know, a lot of people are going to say she's too young to do this, but I feel if the kids are smart enough to behave like that in public when they don't get their way, they are smart enough to understand.
Remember - this worked for us, it can't hurt to try it!
Noelle
It's amazing how quickly they learn which buttons to push to get the result they want. Not surprising though, our sweet little geniouses were sure to catch on quickly;-)
Oh geez I know the whole terror leaving the house thing. Christopher is like a vampire sucking the fun out of going anywhere. I just happened to open my eyes to the fact that he loves his blankie, and if I take it with, he shuts up! It's magic I tell ya. Dan hates it, he doesn't want to be carrying around a blankie all the time to keep an eye on. I tell him it's either the blankie for him or the straight jacket for me. Lol.
Have you tried getting one of those harness type things that allow the child to walk with out wandering farther than the 6' line attached to mom/stroller? If you're just going for a walk it'd be fine because her taking forever to go two feet won't matter.
"Sometimes she just wants me to put a dvd on for her"
When Caroline was about that age she went through this too. Heck, I remember one busy for me day where it occoured to me that besides lunch she didn't come out of her room from the time she woke up until dinner. She had vhs tapes and knew how to switch them out.
Also, Caroline got to an age, about 18months, where we stopped bringing her to resteraunts that didn't have a drive-thru. We figured why bother? She has no fun, we have no fun, and we budgeted to go out why not enjoy it? So we got a sitter and kept it that way until she was about three.
I'm not sure what else to tell you other than yes it's normal and that the reaction you give her is serving her purpose so you've got to find out what that is.
Thanks for the wonderful advice ladies!
And to think I felt like a total dufus posting about this..lol
One of my very close friends recently told me that one of us is going to have to be the bad guy, (meaning me) dh will pick her up the minute she complains in the stroller and I dont agree with that, so I tell him let her complain a bit (if all needs are met than I assume she is perfectly fine)
I am definitely going to look into a parenting class, my parent were divorced when I was little and Dad moved to Europe so I never had that male role model.
I appreciate the advice and Im so very glad that I have your support and also that Im not the only one that has ever gone through anything like this.
Monica :)
I would not accept the behavior though. Let her know it is not okay and punish or discipline her the way you do.
I would not let it go on though, hard to break them of it if they think they can get away with it.