OMG, i can't believe she said that!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
OMG, i can't believe she said that!!!
6
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 4:28pm
o you guys, i could just kill my neighbor right now!!

we were talking about our kids (she has a 6 mo) and i mentioned that the reason my 18 mo old is smaller than her 6 mo is because he was was premie and weighed 4 lbs 11 oz at birth and then had failure to thrive for a long time, so he is very small for his age. she looks at me and goes: "o really? does that mean he's going to grow up to be an axe murderer??" i just kinda froze and said "no, what the heck kind of question is that?" she goes "o well i heard that Jefferey Dahmer was a preemie and had failure to thrive, so i thought maybe it made them turn out like that!"

i'm so mad it's not even funny! i want to go strangle her. my son has fought his whole life, and now he's been diagnosed with adhd and we've come sooo far working with him, and she goes and says that, i want to kill her. i know she thinks he is a really strange kid because he's very anti-social, but that was sooo below the belt!! arrgh....the things people say..

clarity

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 6:40pm
what an idiot! i dont think i would have even been able to respond. i wouldve just stood there with mouth open not believeing that she had actually said that.

sara
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 7:14pm
it was one of those slow motion moments, i could just picture my hand coming up and slapping her!! lol. i truly do hate her for that though...

and what's even worse, her kid has extremely bad nystagmus (wall-eye) and congenital cataracts, and he's 6 mo old and can't focus, smile, sit up, nothing. so it's a very bad case of "people in glass houses.." kwim?? she of all people should know better.

clarity

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2000
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 8:08pm
The only proper response to her would have been "As a matter of fact, that's exactly what it means. We're grooming our son to be just like Dahmer when he grows up. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure Dahmer killed some of his neighbors when he was just getting started. Didn't he eat them? You might want to start locking your doors." That's when you smile and walk away.

I'm thinking the "B" word in reference to your neighbor..... Congrats for showing restraint. - Suzanne

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2004
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 10:40pm
What a rude thing to say. My 6yo has special needs and I get lots of comments too. The worst ones are "You better figure something out with her before she gets any worse" or "Considering that she turned out like THAT, I'm surpised you had another one." (also have a 2yo) "Better hope her sister doesn't turn out the same way" and on and on. I think the most offensive is "Put your foot down and make her learn to (fill in the blank) she's just being a lazy brat." To some I say things like "As long as she doesn't turn out like you/your kids, I'll be happy". That's in extreme cases though. If its nieghbors or friends I wait until I'm calm and explain what a struggle a special needs child is and remind them to think before saying anything. Your neighbor may not have realized how rude and hurtful she was. Your son has definitely come a long way. Be proud of him and your family and don't let other's thoughtlessness get you down.

Avatar for my3girls2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 9:00am
what?>... you should have said no but maybe I will turn out like that soyou better watch out,,,, what a werido!!!
Kim~
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 6:15pm

I would be upset as well.
Are you sure she was not joking? Even so, it was not the nice thing to say.
I think you should talk to her about what she said and how it made you feel, and then go from there.


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