OMG!!!! Someone actually had the gall to

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
OMG!!!! Someone actually had the gall to
19
Thu, 10-28-2004 - 9:43pm
comment on the fact that I have a mixed race dd!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe it!! This has never happened to me. She is 17months old now. We went to the store today, and this b#i%ch actualy said to me, that "next time I should use protection" and then went on to say how screwed up my dd is going to be not knowing who she is!!! Get fricking real!

She will know, she has her mom (me, white) and all my family, which is large, and her dad (who is Fillipino) and his huge family.... what the heck is wrong with people! I was almost too stunned to react, but I did, at the last minute! (Not very mature on my part, but hey, nor was she!) I told her my dd had a better chance of knowing who she is due to 2 great families, as apposed to her kkk-type kids and thier sorry, deranged excuse for parents. I then add a few bleep words to top it off...I was so freaking mad, and still am...what the heck is wrong with people!

Serenity now, serenity now...... God help me if I ever see that bit@h again. aarrggghhhhh I could spew for days.... Half my family are hicks, i admit it, they are old school farmers (in a small town), who thought at first dh was black when they first met him, because he wasn't white, so therefore there is only one other color of people right!!! lol (idiots)But even they love him, and never are rude or disrespectful, he is acepted as family, and that's what he is, they all call him to talk to him, not me!!!! and this stupid cow, who lives in a big city with all different races can't grasp the fact????? Good Lord.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 1:26pm
I can't imagine the hurt and anger you felt...But

I do believe you let this woman get the upper hand. She said those hateful words to get a reaction from you. I liked what mommybeetx told you...it is exactly what my mom use to tell me to say...kind and loving words gives you the upper hand and makes you feel sooo much better. THEN get on this board and tell us how awful this person was. She is ignorant, that is it...ignorance. It doesn't get you anywhere. What you said in response is most likely not going to change her view BUT if you respond in a loving, kind manner your and her children will see that and she will be shocked and embarrassed!

Kill them with kindness and a smile....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 3:15pm
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that kind of ignorance and cruelty. Since people can be so mean, you're going to have to come up with something to say in situations like that. It's unfortunate, but that way if you're ever spoken to like that again, you'll have something to say that will embarrass the speaker of such ugly words. It's so sad that in our world today hate is still being taught to the younger generation.

--Christina

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 11:52pm
thanks eveyone for all your kindness...something that unfortunatly is hard to find sometimes!!!

I have calmed down now, and slept last night...didn't think I would!

I felt bad after posting the message, because this was a rare run in with an idiot, I am lucky, there are people who face this crap on a daily basis, and pay dearly for it. I felt kinda bad about my tirade, because I could be sooo much worse off, but thanks again!!! It's great to have a place to vent!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 2:02am
Your post brought up something I have always found interesting. Now the politically correct term for someone of non-white etnicity is like you said Mexican-American or African-American, etc. (How come no one says "European-American?") Anyway, I worked at a college campus once that had the most diverse mix of people, it was awesome and insane because there were so many different cultures. Some of the people I worked with were, to term it PC, African-American. But most of them HATED to be called that. They said, "I was born in America, I have never set foot in Africa, and I don't like to be called that. I am black." But there were others who got mad if they were referred to as black, and wanted to be called African-American. I just found it interesting the many different viewpoints people have on these things. I know this really has nothing to do with the original post, I just found it interesting and neat how diverse and passionate people are about these issues.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 1:52pm

I know what you are saying....but my line of thinking is, why describe people in this manner to begin with? Unless someone has an obvious accent I refer to them as American.(Since I live in America)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 2:16pm

Lesely...don't feel bad. This is the place to come and vent about these things.


You know, the first time this happened to my family I was so angry and hurt that I cried for a few days and could not sleep. I could not believe that someone couls look at my beautiful baby and hate him for the color of his skin. I kept imagining what was going to happen to him and all this doom and gloom thoughts entered my head.


I swear this is going to make you a better person :) Because you are aware...you will find yourself empathizing with people of all races and cultures. Having been blessed with the family I have has made me more compassionate and loving to ALL

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 10:36pm
I agree with you. I don't know if that came across in my post or not, but that's what I was trying to say.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 11:17pm

I am sorry :) I meant to tell you in that post that I was glad you brought that up!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2003
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 8:17pm
You know....I had to throw in my two-cents when I read your post. The same thing happened to me 11 years ago but it was my PARENTS that flipped out on me. My DH and I had just gotten married (parents didn't attend the wedding) and then I found out soon after I was pregnant. I knew my parents were very closed-minded and prejudiced against anyone not white but I thought they would accept my new life, my new husband, and my new baby. Not so! Long story short - my oldest son was 5 years old (my youngest was nearly 3) before they ever met my father. I lost 5 years without my mother and father just because my husband an Italian/Hispanic "mix". I was asked by my father..."Just where am I supposed to get my blond hair, blue eyed grandchild now?" You want to talk about the worst pain you can imagine, the greatest anger a body can handle, and the gut-wrenching saddness of losing your roots.....that's what that felt like.

My mother and father have completely changed and are now in our lives and every one is happy. I will never be the same, though. Never. I'm not bitter...I have learned how NOT to treat my boys, no matter what they do.

Diane

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