opinions wanted

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2007
opinions wanted
12
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 3:23pm
I am a SAH mom of 2, one on the way and babysit 2 other kids. I sometimes feel overwhelmed by all thats going on, and find it hard to balance everything on a daily basis. Is it normal to feel frazzled, aggrivated and overly anxious or do you all think irs something more internal? Sometimes it causes me to become angry and then start yelling at the kids, which I dont like. I have been home now for 2 years and sometimes I wonder if having free time to think is causing me to become overly paranoid about my feelings. Is this normal??? All comments welcome.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
In reply to: kllsmon
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 3:34pm

I think it's normal to have those moments of feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with the kids, especially when your pregnant!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2007
In reply to: kllsmon
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 3:40pm
I would never think of hurting my kids...its more of a yelling type of anger, when I want them to listen...which I know doesnt work. I just wonder if I am totally overanalyzing myself and just need to relax...If I could remember how to do that. :) Thanks so much for your help. It helps to know that Im not the only one with these feelings.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
In reply to: kllsmon
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 4:10pm

Gothcha, you definately need some alone time for yourself, just to get your bearings back and feel better!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2003
In reply to: kllsmon
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 5:06pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2007
In reply to: kllsmon
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 5:27pm
Thanks so much, everyone seems so nice here, and helpful. It isnt anything serious that I was worried about, I just wanted reassurance that what I was feeling was normal. I am 27, live in Kentucky, I have a 3.5 son, Luke, 2 yr old daughter, Sarah, and watch a 3 yr old and a 14 month old. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed. Especially being pregnant...Ofcourse my husband thinks Im moody, because he catches the tail end of everything at bedtime. So, I was curious at to what other moms felt while they were at home with their kids. I have been working on the yelling issue, since we were raised with yelling as discipline, and Im trying to break that habit, just sometimes, it gets away from me. Sometimes I feel like a terrible mom, feeling frustrated at the kids, but i know looking at my kids that they are doing just fine. I know that I am doing much better, and am so proud to be here with the kids all day. It is definitely a hard adjustment. I do appreciate your help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2003
In reply to: kllsmon
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 5:59pm
((hugs)) Definitely normal! Those sound like some hard ages, and lots going on. That probably doesn't help. I hope you find something to help you out! :) (I'm anxious to find out what other moms write about the relaxation ideas. All of my ideas involve being out of the house, or having the house to myself...neither of which ever happen, or are practical for everyday. G/L!)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2007
In reply to: kllsmon
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 6:59pm

Hi, I'm Tara a SAHM to Abbie 4, Lilli 2, and Bree 13 months. You are definately not alone in feeling this way! I have found that the only way to get pass the yelling and anger is a few things,

1) Get down on their level and make them look you in the eyes when you are explaining something to them CALMLY. If they look away, start over with getting eye contact and start explaining from the start, but make it short and to the point.

2) When all heck breaks loose, get them seperated and start the rounds talking to them starting from the youngest up.

3) Have a BASIC structure/schedule to your day, most kids will do wonders for you if they are on a schedule.

Now this probably seems so Super Nanny (I actually can't stand those shows!), but I swear it works. When I first started doing this it was like the worst/most uncomfortable thing to get through...and btw I hate schedules and I grew up in a yelling house. But try it for 1 week and see what happens. I can honestly say that the whole anxiety driven feelings have been cut in half. Hope someone can take something from this! Best of luck =)

Tara

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
In reply to: kllsmon
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 7:50pm

Tara,


I think that is great advice! I must admit that my weakness is schedules. I have had that issue with all of my kids -- I have always done child-led nursing, sleeping, playing, etc. Only problem is when they are older (like Layla who is 4) her schedule is totally off!


I am going to try to get everyone on a schedule, any tips for easing into it with a headstrong pre-schooler???

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2007
In reply to: kllsmon
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 9:14pm

My kids always set the schedule around here too. But my 4 year old really needed to be on one.

We started by setting a solid time for lunch and snacks. Then went to when the 2 youngest are asleep, Abbie and I clean the kitchen and the living room and if there is time left we do something special (there usually is). Luckily Abbie loves to clean! After we mastered nap/cleaning time, we established what chore gets done on a specific day of the week for example Mon. we pick up from the weekend, Tues. is the girls bathroom, Wed. we wipe all the kitchen cupboards down and scrub the kitchen floor really good, Thurs. we do my bathroom, Fri. we dust and make sure the house is really picked up for the weekend. Then Abbie has to have her room clean by Tues or she will not go to dance (she has lost dance twice). She gets to vacuum it and she has found after 5 weeks now that the cleaner she keeps it during the week, the easier it is. Lilli is only 2 and knows that her job is to put all the dirty laundry in the laundry room after afternoon snack. Like I said BASIC. Let life lead, but keep some structure. I only do windows or deep cleaning when I see something needs it. Or if I need to do something big I let the girls choose a movie to watch when Bree is down for her AM nap.

I just started this schedule about 5-6 weeks ago and there is hardly any yelling or fighting because we all know what is going on and when. The other big thing that is great for kids is star charts. For example, Abbie gets a star if she remembers to pick up her toys after she plays with them. Lilli gets one if she stays in her seat at the table. 10 stars = a special treat or they can save them up.

HTH
Tara

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
In reply to: kllsmon
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 2:01am

My name is Lesley, and I am on day 5 of not yelling ....


LOL


Really though, I am. I had it with the noise level in this house, and then it hit me that the kids would yell (mainly my older dd) then I would yell so she could hear me, or so I could prove that I was boss,

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