POWER TRIP

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2006
POWER TRIP
3
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 12:27am

sORRY i KNOW IS LONG BUT i NEED YOUR HELP!

my husband is in the military and had been living on-base since August while I had the baby in Florida since I had more family there than in TX, so the baby is now 2 months and I moved to TX this Jan 2, 2007... 2 weeks later he asks me why cant you keep everything ordeed? or neat?? to which I replied , please don;t do this to me, is not like u had done anything ok , and there he goes on his power trip and says I work 12 hours a day every week I'm not going to spend my weekends cleaning...and I said I work too with the baby and I am really trying to fix this at my own time, and I just shut him up because he was just being unreasonable....the back bone to this is (by the way I was crying the whole time) we have not resumed intimacy don't know why!! he really does not talk to me anymore and honestly I believe he has lost respect towards me, I think he does not realize that I had mayor surgery 2 months ago Csection, and that my hormones are still adjusting and not only that I have been catering to his grandfather since he has been stranded due to wheather since january 2nd, plus the baby...am I wrong???I have nobody to talk to here in TX, should I see a psychologist? I am also looking for a job as a translator from English to Spanish that can be done from home so if anyone knows anything please let me know!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2004
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 5:27am

HI,

I haven't posted in awhile but like you I am military wife. We're not in Tx but overseas. What base are you at? I ask because there are family groups and playgroups at the bigger bases usually. Even though you have a newborn it's the intimacy with other moms that will keep you sane!

As for your husband, he's jealous. He may not know it or want to say it but this is knew for ALL of you and the adjusting takes time. Tell him what you NEED him to do, like if you can't vacuum yet then he can do that. Stuff like that but also let him know that just like when you were pregnant you still NEED things from him. Yes, you had the baby but your still tender and tired and HORMONAL. It's not about what you WANT but still NEED. Express to him you get that the house is dirty but until you can get into a rythym this is the way it's going to be. If he wants to help "get that rythym" great but if not then stop complaining about it.

You are soooo not alone on this one. Many new families go thru and adjustment time. Open comunication helps even if you don't like what the other has to stay.

As for the "intimacy" part....you only have a 2 month old right? It's not uncommon to be waiting for a bit. There's emotion on both sides about it and then your just to tired and/or sore.

Hang in there, I gets better!

Mandy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2006
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 4:07pm
your words are very helpfull!! thank you I am at sheppard AFB in TX is supposed to snow tomorrow and also I signed up at the family skills department on base and tomorrow they will give me an orientation on the options I have for mayme counseling!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2002
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 4:18pm

I don't have any advice...


BUT...I have Hugs....


SO here they are....


(((((((((HUGS))))))))))


Rhonda