Putting your DH first
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Putting your DH first
| Fri, 06-25-2004 - 2:30pm |
Hi all,
The advice I've gotten as a new mom is to "put your husband before your children", or "your husband comes first". I've heard it over and over again. It's so easy to become consumed by my little one, I don't want my DH to feel neglected. What are you doing to put your hubby first? Thanks.
~Adrienne, mom to Aidan, 4mos, 2mos adj. (preemie)

I have never heard that advice before, but I have heard that you must take care of yourself and spend time with your DH without the baby. It is much easier said than done, especially for me, but I do little things for my DH to let him know I haven't forgotten about him. For example, my DH loves certain snack foods, so I make sure to have them in the house and when he's in the mood, I break them out. My DH loves baths (shhh!), so I buy him "special" bath salts. Pick up a video that DH has been wanting to see, cook him his favorite meal or leave him a post-it where he'll find it that reads "you are the best hubby and most wonderful daddy!" He will appreciate all the little things you do because they will mean a whole lot.
Elyssa
I have heard that advice as well. I don't know why but it never sat well with me. I guess maybe because when I heard it, it sounded kind of step-ford wifeish to me.
But, My Dh is well loved, and he works extremely hard at a very physicaly demanding job. My Dh is wonderful and plays with his kids everynight, he is also in charge of giving the little one his bath and reading to our oldest to have some quality one on one time with them. So there is no way I could ever complain about my Dh.
I also do little things for him, that seem to really make him happy. I try to put out a fresh towel and his pj's in the bathroom. We all have breakfast together and I like to make him special things like stratta's and homeade waffles( this is fufiling to me as well since I like to cook). I also put special things in his luch like love notes and the kids sometimes put a little homeade card.
Well now I'm starting to sound step-ford wifeish to myself...lol. But i also try to have the house cleaned and not let him do to much around the house. If he worked at a less demanding job and less hours, i would probably ask him to do more, but there has been times when my poor dh, has actually fallen asleep untying his shoes!
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Each needs its own time and love.
I'm still working now, but not for long, so when we come home from work we BOTH take care of DS together. Give him his bath together, take turns feeding him, put him to bed together, etc. I think this helps DH a lot in #1 spending time as a family and #2 making him feel a part of caring for DS. Before going back to work, DH helped out somewhat, but now that he is more in a routine with both me and DS, he feels much more apart of the "family." Quality time with DH does not always have to involve no children being around. Get DH involved in caring for your baby with you if he's not already. This has done wonders for our relationship with eachother and with DS.
HTH
Kelly
I don't think you can put your dh first, but what I've found is it's important not to forget you have a dh.
Melissa
Change takes CHANGE!
Carson - SAHM to six