Question from a hopeful SAHM

Avatar for bns060802
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Question from a hopeful SAHM
12
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 11:45am

Hello,


I am writing with a concern and perhaps even a little guilt.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-1998
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 1:19pm
Welcome

Well I wish you luck with your decision. I can't tell you what to do, but ethically, I think you deserve any sick and vacation days you have earned, but if you don't plan on coming back to work, you don't deserve paid maternity leave beyond the paid sick and vacation days you have accrued. You could take those days as terminal leave and make your official "quit" date whatever the day is that they are used up after you leave.

The way terminal leave works for my dh (in the military) is that the date his contract expires minus how many days leave he has is the date he stops actually working. eg if his contract expires Aug 30th and he has 20 days of leave accrued, he stops working on Aug 10th and continues to be paid through Aug 30th.

I don't think they can take away your vacation pay, its already on the books for them anyway as a liability.

HTH

Dolli


baby growth



New and improved siggy coming soon (which could mean after Christmas)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 4:29pm

Actually, they are not allowed to ask. I think it is against the law.


You do not need to tell them anything. Just say at this point you are planning to come back. Which is true. You have not made a 100% decision to leave.


They can't ask you to back pay. Just don't make a decision until your 6 weeks are up. You have worked hard and deserve it. Plus, they will start treating you differenlty, which is also illegal.


With me, I wanted to go part time or work from home, when I went in after my 6 weeks to talk, they said that was not an option. So I quit. I did not have to back pay.


Good luck!


Debbie

Debbie LaCroix, SAHM to Alex

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~ ~ Follow your passion!:&n

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2004
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 4:48pm
I would take your 6 weeks and then tell them your not coming back (if that is what you decide). That is what I did. But, I did take my 2 weeks (total 8wks away) and they made me pay back my vacation. Said I owed them since I had decided not to come back. Took it right out of my checking account!! I still think that was illegal, but didn't get anywhere with it. I didn't decide to become a SAHM until I was at home with the baby for 2 months. I decided I wanted to take care of him instead of daycare.

The decision is always yours. Don't let your company force you into a decision!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 5:34pm
Sara,

Don't know if this helps, but I can tell you my experience. I was working full time at a place I had been at for almost a year, when I was pregnant with my son (13 months old). I knew that I would be staying home, but I wanted my paid vacation. So right or wrong, I lied. I said that I would be coming back after a 12 week maternity leave. Then about a month before I was due back, I called my supervisor and explained to her that I just couldn't bear to leave my baby and would not be coming back, as planned. She understood, and I was able to get my paid time without any problems, and they weren't left in the lurch because they had a month or more to cover my position while my sub was still there. So it worked out well. I didn't have to pay any of my paid time off back, and they had given me benefits for the 3 months off as well, and didn't require repayment for that (although I think they could have...). So that was my experience. Hope it helps. Good luck.

Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2004
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 7:20pm
I wouldn't feel guilty about wanting/needing the FMLA and paid leave. The thing is that if you don't come back to work after leave, it is possible that your job can have you repay all the benifits and things that were provided to you when you were on leave. But a simple way around this, is to come back to work for a few weeks and then quit.

I am considering becoming a SAHM and if I do, then this is exactly what I will do. I don't feel the slightest bit of guilt about it because I have worked for this company for years, like you have with yours, and they barely want to give me maternity leave and other things that I have earned and am entitled to.

In some countries, like Canada, women get a full year of leave that is paid by the government, but for us we're not so lucky so we have to make due the best way we can.

HTH.

Hugs & Kisses,

Roxie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-1998
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 9:27pm
OK I am totally baffled. This is not directed at the original poster just at the thread in general.

I can see how a person deserves accrued vacation and sick days. But how can you ethically justify getting 6 weeks of pay from your company when you know you are not coming back? They don't "owe" it to you. If they did, they would "owe" 6 weeks of pay to anyone who quits. Just because you are having a baby and decide to quit working there once the baby is born does not entitle you to a handout of 6 weeks pay.

Paid maternity leave is a great option to have IF you are returning to your job at the end of it. And FMLA is great because if your paid leave is only 2-6 weeks, if at all, you can still stay on leave up to 13 weeks and keep your job even though you are not getting paid for it.

But I simply don't understand why anyone would feel a company should be obligated to give what amounts to 6 weeks severance pay, based on a personal decision to stay at home with a new baby.

I can completely understand the feeling of "this company owes me a lot for everything I have done" but that does not equate to an obligation to give former employees money.

I lived in a country with a year of paid maternity/paternity leave, and the taxes were high and the cost of living was high. Taxes paid into the system are what funded the one year leaves, and the retirement pensions, and the healthcare system. Everyone worked. While paid maternity leave would be great, I do like our system because I can afford to stay home and have our family in the 15% tax bracket instead of a 40% one under some sort of socialized system.





baby growth



New and improved siggy coming soon (which could mean after Christmas)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Thu, 09-23-2004 - 8:44am
Well, I would have to say I agree with lama26. Maternity Time is not time earned or worked for. Maternity time is given for time off when having a child then returning to work. Can't you given them your two week or months notice right before having the baby and use your vacation and sick time then. And what about if financially something happens and you need to go back to work would you try to work for the same company. I understand wanting the maternity pay especially if you are not paid what you think you are worth but in my opinion it is not "owed".

The words "owe me" baffle me too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-1998
Thu, 09-23-2004 - 11:10am
Oh you cannot believe how relieved I am to read your message. After posting last night, I worried that I would come back to the board to find flames.

I have been thinking about the subject of paid maternity leave. My mom lives in (the peoples republic of) California, and she had to stop working in March because she was diagnosed with endometrial cancer and had to have surgery, chemo and now radiation. In California, there is a state disability system that every worker pays into (its an automatic payroll deduction). She was able to receive disability pay and will continue to until she is deemed able to return to work. I don't think they have maternity leave in as a qualifying condition, but if every state had something like that and there were a standard length of time, then it could work. Now, disability pay does not equal full pay, but it is something, and takes the burden off of companies for paying full pay to the employee on leave and a temp. Then companies could employ the option to top off the disability pay for the women who plan to return. Or they could hold the "top off" pay until the employee returns and give it as back pay.

I'm not a big supporter of "big government" but I do like the idea of disability insurance just like unemployment insurance.

Anyway, I'm not a legislator or lobbyist so this idea will never get far, but I thought I would share.

And I am not knocking Canada, if I had to leave the US it would be on my short list of countries to move to, but we aren't Canada.

baby growth



New and improved siggy coming soon (which could mean after Christmas)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Thu, 09-23-2004 - 12:37pm
Wow...Disablity is a touchy subject too! It almost goes hand in hand with company and individual health insurance. Best wishes to your mom.

In some cases, pregnancy is considered a "short-term" disability. My friend, working in legal business, bought into all the "short term" cover with her credit. And while on maternity leave all her credit bills were paid.



Avatar for bns060802
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 09-23-2004 - 4:38pm

Okay, so perhaps I used the wrong wording.

 

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