questions for other SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2006
questions for other SAHM
15
Mon, 08-07-2006 - 10:53am

Hello Ladies,
I have posted a few times but mostly I just read all the posts, so I decided I would get over my shyness and post. I have a question, while at a dinner with my family this weekend my DH and the other men at the table where trying to say that eventhough I am a SAHM I do alot of things but none of them are hard? I have a 17 month old son, 3 cats, a dog, and a DH I do everything for, also in 2 weeks I am going back to school full time. I guess my questions is how can I let them know even my DH that I do alot and deserve some reconigtion (sorry sp wrong).He admits he could never take care of my son like I do because he has no patience, but everything is easy. Any advice I would greatly appreciate. Thank you again.

Brooke
DS Cambre 03/02/05

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 8:54am
Ok, I cant really help you out too much.
I stay home with 3 kids ages 7, 2 1/2 and 8 weeks old. I am alone about 4 weeks at a time. My husband has a job out of town.
Now, he does come home for 4 weeks. So I am lucky, to a point, to have him here to help me for the time he is home.
BUT, to get my husband to understand how hectic it is while he is away is very hard. He thinks because when he is home and sees what goes on, that it is not hard. Now, it probally is easier and less stressful, only because he has me here to help him if he needs it, to get up to feed the baby so he can sleep, to take a break if he gets angry or stressed with the kids, he doesnt have to drag 3 kids to a store with no help. I am here for him.
Now when he is gone, I dont have someone to say hey, help me, let me get some sleep, im heading to the store, watch the kids

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2005
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 9:23am

ITA:




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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2006
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 1:39pm

Thanks for all the advice, it did help some. I wrote down everything I did all day and he read it but didn't really have much to say. However the thing that worked was the other night he was in the kitchen getting something to eat and my DS went in behind him, He was trying to pull stuff out of the cabinets and my DH was getting frustrated so he let my DS out and closed the gate but what he did not realize was my DS snuck back in and started pulling stuff out again. I just sat on the sofa watching. Well he brought my DS to me and said that he has NO idea how I do this all day and still manage to ge things done. I smiled and told him that was the nicest he could have said. He finally got it! Thank you again everyone for all your help.

Brooke
DS 03/02/05

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2006
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 3:21pm
Mommie,
Leave for the weekend. Go out with your mom, friends, another mom, just get out for the entire weekend. Leave him to deal with everything for 3 full days! Before you leave, leave him a list of the things that have to happen every day, include schedules, etc for the kids, dogs, cats, everything. Ask him to make dinners and breakfasts, and everything else. Also, include some chores that you do every day, like a few loads of laundry, what ever.... Give him and idea of what it truly is like, and he will appreciate you much more for it, and you will appreciate the time away.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2006
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 7:49pm
That has worked for me many a time. We have a very loving relationship, so I try not to get too upset if he doesn't understand something like this, but I look for opportunities to make him understand. If he's trying to build something and complains about them getting in the way, I nod sympathetically and say, "I can really understand how frustrating it is. Seems like I make 3 meals a day with kids clinging to my legs. And grocery shopping, what a joke! And even sleep is interrupted. Yeah, I can sure understand!" It doesn't take being defensive or ugly, they just don't know until it happens to them!! Glad something has helped.

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