Questions to SAHM from wanna be SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Questions to SAHM from wanna be SAHM
20
Sun, 08-05-2007 - 5:36pm

I work full time right now and I am due in Feb 08. I want to be a stay at home mom. I have worked at daycares and I am just not comfortable leaving my child there, and I dont want somebody else raising my kid! My DH is not aware of my feelings yet, and I am trying to compile some information to support my feelings when the big talk time comes...if you feel some are the questions are too peronal just skip them. Thanks in advance for your help. Just copy and paste the ??'s

1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?

2. What lifestyle changes did you make, if any, to be able to afford to stay home (ie, disconnect cable, internet, cell phone, home phone, down grady vehicles or homes) I think you know where I am getting at?

3. What state do you live in and what is your household income now and before you were a stay at home mom? You don't have to get exact figures unless you are ok with that, example after I quit my job we make 50,000 less per year now. Just something like that.

4. What was your DH or SO's initial reaction to you wanting to be a SAHM and did that change once the baby arrived?

5. How long do you plan to be a SAHM? (until child enters preschool, kindergarten, i am never going back t work)

6. Do any of you plan working part time?

Thanks for you help and if there are any big questions you think I left off that would help me support my decision just add your new one at the bottom. Thanks so much again in advance.
Megan
Due 02-22-08




Edited 8/5/2007 5:39 pm ET by callmeoscar

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2007
Sun, 08-05-2007 - 7:09pm

Hi Megan welcome to the board. I am Ana, SAHM to Bella (13 months)

1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?

I had my daughter right before my 31 birthday and I worked the entire time. Well, until I was put on bedrest. I was a teacher and my daughter was born during the summer, so I decided not to renew my contract.

2. What lifestyle changes did you make, if any, to be able to afford to stay home (ie, disconnect cable, internet, cell phone, home phone, down grady vehicles or homes) I think you know where I am getting at?

I am very fortunate in that my husband makes a large enough salary that we didn't have to make any changes so I could stay home.

3. What state do you live in and what is your household income now and before you were a stay at home mom? You don't have to get exact figures unless you are ok with that, example after I quit my job we make 50,000 less per year now. Just something like that.

I live outside of Washington DC and a few months after my daughter was born my husband was promoted to a VP position in his company and his promotion covered what my salary was. So there wasn't any lag from the loss of my salary.

4. What was your DH or SO's initial reaction to you wanting to be a SAHM and did that change once the baby arrived?

He totally left the decision up to me. He wanted me to stay home, but he knew that what mattered was my happiness, and if it was something that I did not want, then he wasn't going to force the issue.

5. How long do you plan to be a SAHM? (until child enters preschool, kindergarten, i am never going back t work)
I plan on staying home until we are done having children and they are all in school. I may or may not go back to teaching. It all depends.

6. Do any of you plan working part time? Nope, my full time "job" is the care of my daughter, home and when he has been nice, my husband. LOL

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2007
Sun, 08-05-2007 - 9:32pm

1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?

I'm 23 and my first child, my son, was born almost two years ago. I was working at a bank at that point and told myself through my entire pregnancy that I was going back to work after he was born. I wanted to "have it all" - the baby, the job, the house, the husband, etc. After my son was born I knew that I couldn't go back to work and put him in daycare. So about a month before my maternity leave was up I went in and put in my notice.

2. What lifestyle changes did you make, if any, to be able to afford to stay home (ie, disconnect cable, internet, cell phone, home phone, down grady vehicles or homes) I think you know where I am getting at?

We did move from a house into an townhome but I think that was in the cards anyway. But that's about it.

3. What state do you live in and what is your household income now and before you were a stay at home mom? You don't have to get exact figures unless you are ok with that, example after I quit my job we make 50,000 less per year now. Just something like that.

At the bank I only made $24,000 per year and my husband makes decent money so it wasn't a huge loss for me to stay home. A big chunk of that would have gone to daycare anyway.

4. What was your DH or SO's initial reaction to you wanting to be a SAHM and did that change once the baby arrived?

Because I kept saying I was going back to work he was really shocked when, after the baby was born, I told him that I didn't want to go back to work. In fact, I put in my notice at work without officially telling him I was doing it so it was a little stressor on him. I think he mainly didn't want me to let myself go and spend all day watching soaps and eating bonbons. Now he knows differently and appreciates that I am here with the kids. He knows that it is better for them that they be with their mom.

5. How long do you plan to be a SAHM? (until child enters preschool, kindergarten, i am never going back t work)

Forever, if it is possible.

6. Do any of you plan working part time?

I've started up a small home business so hopefully I'll never have to work for anyone else again! :)

Congrats on your pregnancy, BTW. I just had my second, a girl, in April. From what I have heard and seen I think it is possible for you to stay home if you really want to. Some changes might have to be made, thats all. I hope you get the answers you are looking for.

Tarra

Tarra

mommy to

Noah (10/13/05)

and

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:32am

1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?


I worked and had planned on working the whole time, but then I had very bad morning sickness and ended up leaving when i was 4 mos pregnant.


2. What lifestyle changes did you make, if any, to be able to afford to stay home (ie, disconnect cable, internet, cell phone, home phone, down grady vehicles or homes) I think you know where I am getting at?


Fortunately we've hadn't had any issues.


3. What state do you live in and what is your household income now and before you were a stay at home mom? You don't have to get exact figures unless you are ok with that, example after I quit my job we make 50,000 less per year now. Just something like that.


We live in California, I was only working part-time anyway, so we weren't really missing the 10k I was bringing home only working 4 hours a day.


4. What was your DH or SO's initial reaction to you wanting to be a SAHM and did that change once the baby arrived?


He wanted me to stay home


5. How long do you plan to be a SAHM? (until child enters preschool, kindergarten, i am never going back t work)


Probably once we are done having children and they are all in school


6. Do any of you plan working part time?


Once everybody is in school I'll probably get a part-time job.


HTH :-) Congratulations!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 8:32am

1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?

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Registered: 10-31-2006
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 8:55am

1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 10:30am

1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?

Yes and no. We were only married 8 months when we found out I was pregnant with our first baby. It was a surprise as we weren't trying for one yet. I had just been furloughed from my IRS job. I was due in January, about the time they'd be calling be back, and we knew we wanted me to stay home with Johnathan, so we knew I wouldn't be going back. We also felt that it wasn't likely that anyone would want to hire me knowing I'd be leaving in a matter of months, and I wouldn't feel good about hiding my situation and making a company spend the time and money it would take to train me just to turn around and have me quit in 8 months or so. So, I did work up until my pregnancy and spent my pregnancy at home. I did teach piano during that time, though, and that helped pay for gas and other small expenses.

2. What lifestyle changes did you make, if any, to be able to afford to stay home (ie, disconnect cable, internet, cell phone, home phone, down grady vehicles or homes) I think you know where I am getting at?

We didn't really make any. We didn't have cable, cell phone or internet at the beginning of my pregnancy. We got the internet during my pregnancy. So, if anything, we upgraded. But we did (and do) stick to a pretty tight budget.

3. What state do you live in and what is your household income now and before you were a stay at home mom? You don't have to get exact figures unless you are ok with that, example after I quit my job we make 50,000 less per year now. Just something like that.

We live in Utah, and I honestly don't have any idea what our income was back then. That was 7 years ago. I don't remember.

4. What was your DH or SO's initial reaction to you wanting to be a SAHM and did that change once the baby arrived?

Well, it was always in both of our plans and we both knew that. So, there was no reaction because there was nothing to tell.

5. How long do you plan to be a SAHM? (until child enters preschool, kindergarten, i am never going back t work)

I don't think I'm ever going back to work. My oldest child has special needs and I want to be here during the day, should he ever need me while he's at school, as well as the other kids.

6. Do any of you plan working part time?

I have taught piano off and on in my home. Now that the kids are old enough for extracurriculars, I'm thinking of trying to get some students again so I can use the money I make from piano to pay for those.

Honestly, with the child care rates being what they are, if I had a job outside the home, my paycheck would most likely pay for child care, gas to get to work, meals while at work, and work clothes, and be pretty much spent after that. So, I don't see much point in me working.

Jayme

Johnathan (6 1/2)
Ethan (3 1/2)
Elizabeth (1)

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 10:53am

1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?


I worked full time before having Ryland.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2005
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 11:41am

Megan,

Congrats on your pregnancy! It is a wonderful, exciting time! Enjoy every minute of it :)

Here are my answers:

1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?
---->I was a teacher for 5.5 years. I taught up until one week before my due date in Dec, and I did not go back and will not be going back.

2. What lifestyle changes did you make, if any, to be able to afford to stay home (ie, disconnect cable, internet, cell phone, home phone, down grady vehicles or homes) I think you know where I am getting at?
-----> Well, we were trying for a while to get PG, so we didnt have to make any big changes because we already did and was ready for it. I just now need to watch what I am spending and find free things to do during the day with my baby.

3. What state do you live in and what is your household income now and before you were a stay at home mom? You don't have to get exact figures unless you are ok with that, example after I quit my job we make 50,000 less per year now. Just something like that.
-------> We live in Colorado, and I was making about $40,000 as a 6th year teacher. So, we are minus $40,000 a year now....

4. What was your DH or SO's initial reaction to you wanting to be a SAHM and did that change once the baby arrived?
-------> Before we were married 4 years ago, we talked about this. My DH always wanted to give me the option to be a SAHM when the time came if I wanted to be. So, when I got PG, we talked again and looked at our finaces and thought we could try it and see. So far it is working great, not saving as much money as last year, but still managing to and we are not in debt either. If we have to use a CC, we pay off the balance that month. If we can't afford to do that, we don't buy it.

5. How long do you plan to be a SAHM? (until child enters preschool, kindergarten, i am never going back t work)
-------> Indefinately right now. I loved being a teacher, but God willing we would like to have a total of 3-4 kids, so maybe in a long time when they are all in school?

6. Do any of you plan working part time?
-------> No, taking care of my baby is a 24/7 job. If I NEED to though, there are some good at home options- look at www.raceracerebellion.com There is another site too I checked out just in case, cant remember though. If you want I can get it to you.

I dont know if this helped. Just be ready to cut back on things, not going out a whole lot, and sacrificing things you may have bought for yourself in the past. It is totally worth it though! I want to raise my child, not a daycare or a babysitter. :)

LISA

SAHM to Katelyn 12/11/06

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2005
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:53pm

1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?


I am 34, and worked until Claire was born.


2. What lifestyle changes did you make, if any, to be able to afford to stay home (ie, disconnect cable, internet, cell phone, home phone, down grady vehicles or homes) I think you know where I am getting at?


We always planned for me to stay home, so our budget was based on DH's salary.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 3:52pm

1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?


Yes. I quit fairly soon into the pregnancy because I had horrible all day sickness from the second month up until the seven 1/2 month point. I was such a lump.


2. What lifestyle changes did you make, if any, to be able to afford to stay home (ie, disconnect cable, internet, cell phone, home phone, down grady vehicles or homes) I think you know where I am getting at?


We got rid of the cable package higher than the basic minimum to have local channels (non existant "rabbit ear" reception), we stopped going out to the movies and dinner 1-2 times per week (lol, couldn't stay awake anymore) and we dropped our land line because we had a duel cell phone plan and why pay for two?? We also did sell our house and move to a less costly mortage house, but that was more due to a move/job change than the SAHM factor.


3. What state do you live in and what is your household income now and before you were a stay at home mom? You don't have to get exact figures unless you are ok with that, example after I quit my job we make 50,000 less per year now. Just something like that.


We live in Washington state. We made it on $45,000.


4. What was your DH or SO's initial reaction to you wanting to be a SAHM and did that change once the baby arrived?


My DH agrees that we want our children to be raised by us and not some hired stranger. We never saw the point in having a child and only being an evening and weekend parent.


5. How long do you plan to be a SAHM? (until child enters preschool, kindergarten, i am never going back t work)


I had origionally planned to be a SAHM until our children started school. Now though I am not going to go back to work unless I'm able to be home before and after school. Why? Because when do older children/teenagers get together and do drugs, have sex, drink, over eat, and get into mischief?? After school when nobody is home to keep an eye on them and stop them. I know as a kid, I did the things I shouldn't when my parents weren't there. I'm going to be there. And truth be told, I kinda dig the whole June Cleaver roll, I look good in a skirt ;-)


6. Do any of you plan working part time?


I think if I get a job only while the kids are in school it'll be part time, full time doesn't fit my requirements.


A big question I think you left off is the most important....the only important question to consider. That is, Do you want it bad enough to prioritize, plan, and CHOOSE it? Life is not a balancing act, it is choices. There is no balance. You choose your priority, you plan to make it happen, and you choose what's more important.

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