Questions to SAHM from wanna be SAHM
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| Sun, 08-05-2007 - 5:36pm |
I work full time right now and I am due in Feb 08. I want to be a stay at home mom. I have worked at daycares and I am just not comfortable leaving my child there, and I dont want somebody else raising my kid! My DH is not aware of my feelings yet, and I am trying to compile some information to support my feelings when the big talk time comes...if you feel some are the questions are too peronal just skip them. Thanks in advance for your help. Just copy and paste the ??'s
1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?
2. What lifestyle changes did you make, if any, to be able to afford to stay home (ie, disconnect cable, internet, cell phone, home phone, down grady vehicles or homes) I think you know where I am getting at?
3. What state do you live in and what is your household income now and before you were a stay at home mom? You don't have to get exact figures unless you are ok with that, example after I quit my job we make 50,000 less per year now. Just something like that.
4. What was your DH or SO's initial reaction to you wanting to be a SAHM and did that change once the baby arrived?
5. How long do you plan to be a SAHM? (until child enters preschool, kindergarten, i am never going back t work)
6. Do any of you plan working part time?
Thanks for you help and if there are any big questions you think I left off that would help me support my decision just add your new one at the bottom. Thanks so much again in advance.
Megan
Due 02-22-08
Edited 8/5/2007 5:39 pm ET by callmeoscar

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Megs
I have been lurking on this board for a bit and I felt the time had come for me to finally speak up......
1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?
-I was a teacher before I had by beautiful baby. My husband knew that I in my heart I wanted to stay home with her and he said that he would do everything he could to try and make it happen. Liliana was born in January, I had told my school that I would be back in March. Shortly after she was born I went in and told them that I would not be returning.
2. What lifestyle changes did you make, if any, to be able to afford to stay home (you when you, disconnect cable, internet, cell phone, home phone, down grady vehicles or homes) I think you know where I am getting at?
-Well, like I said I was a teacher and after going over the numbers my husband and I realized that after taxes, daycare, healthcare, and formula (pumping at work was not an option for me) I would end up coming home with $500 a month. To me that was not worth putting my baby girl in daycare. So to answer your question yes money is tighter now that I am not working. But keep in mind that money is only money and you can't take it with you when you die.
3. What state do you live in and what is your household income now and before you were a stay at home mom? You don't have to get exact figures unless you are ok with that, example after I quit my job we make 50,000 less per year now. Just something like that.
-I think I answered that one :-) But in general we were out about 35,000
4. What was your DH or SO's initial reaction to you wanting to be a SAHM and did that change once the baby arrived?
-He always said that he understood my desire to stay at home, but I really don't think he got it, or was completely on board, until she was born. It wasn't seeing her that made it click, I think it was seeing how attached I am to her. He saw how emotionally close I am to her, how when she cries it really does hurt my heart. The thought of going back to work and not being there with her really bothered me deep down inside.
5. How long do you plan to be a SAHM? (until child enters preschool, kindergarten, I am never going back t work)
-I am not sure. I will stay at home until our babes start school, but after that is still up in the air. We'll see where we are.
6. Do any of you plan working part time?
-I don't. I don't think that I could without having a nanny or other help.
Follow your heart!! Good Luck!!
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1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?
Yes, I worked two jobs. One full time and the other part time. I did not quit my full time job until baby was 25 months old.
2. What lifestyle changes did you make, if any, to be able to afford to stay home (ie, disconnect cable, internet, cell phone, home phone, down grady vehicles or homes) I think you know where I am getting at?
We make less trips to town and try to get all errands run when we go into town. We still have a gym membership but we only go on days we are already going to be in town. We don't rent movies and we limit how much we eat out. I cook more and I prepare hubby's meals so he doesn't eat out at work. We still have some extra money but choose to put it aside for what we really need. We have learned that we can make 6 figures and still have no more left at the end of the year if we buy unneeded junk.
3. What state do you live in and what is your household income now and before you were a stay at home mom? You don't have to get exact figures unless you are ok with that, example after I quit my job we make 50,000 less per year now. Just something like that.
We make 40K less, but I also turned down a better job during this time that was $70K a year. Plus, I was the break winner. I made about 15K more than my husband before the promotion offer.
4. What was your DH or SO's initial reaction to you wanting to be a SAHM and did that change once the baby arrived?
Supportive. We had family take are of him the first two years. When we started going to tour day cares and got him in the best on in the area, my husband still did not want him to go and be dropped for 8-9 hours a day. So he was supportive. He has difficulty at times when he is wanting to go out and rent movies or eat out, but in perspective it is all worth it.
5. How long do you plan to be a SAHM? (until child enters preschool, kindergarten, i am never going back t work)
I am trying to build my online clients so that I will not have to go back. I want to have more children and I want to get them all in kindergarten before I go back. Plus, I am a teacher so when they do go back I hope to return to the classroom.
6. Do any of you plan working part time?
I do work online which is flexible and I have few hours that are have required time slots each week. Still too early to tell if it is stable enough.
1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?
I worked and was in college before I got pregnant. I did quit my job when we moved which was the same time I found out I was pregnant. I did work part time for part of the pregnancy but really wish I had found a full-time job. It was pretty boring being in a new town and pregnant.
2. What lifestyle changes did you make, if any, to be able to afford to stay home (ie, disconnect cable, internet, cell phone, home phone, down grady vehicles or homes) I think you know where I am getting at?
Didn't really start out with a whole lot since we were just newly married. We lived in a small apartment and gradually added things as we could afford them. We started out with only one vehicle and it was economical. Guess it depends on what you have and what need and all that.
3. What state do you live in and what is your household income now and before you were a stay at home mom? You don't have to get exact figures unless you are ok with that, example after I quit my job we make 50,000 less per year now. Just something like that.
My income then is not as important as it is now. I work 25-30 hours a week from home now vs. the part-time minimum wage job I had before and during pregnancy. So things have improved for me.
4. What was your DH or SO's initial reaction to you wanting to be a SAHM and did that change once the baby arrived?
My Dh didn't give it a second thought that I wouldn't stay home with the kids because his mom did. I think we also knew that since we were in a new town and didn't know anyone yet that we would need some time before we pursued daycare if we decided to go that route.
5. How long do you plan to be a SAHM? (until child enters preschool, kindergarten, i am never going back t work)
At this point with 3 young kids I don't plan on working outside the home. I work from home a good bit so I would like to grow that and do the best I can with that. It works out really well most of the time and lets me be home with the kids and have some extra money too.
6. Do any of you plan working part time?
Not sure if any of that helps but that's my experience.
Jenn
1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?
I did work before my 1st child was born. We moved to a new city when I was 6 months pregnant so the last 3 months of pregnancy I was VERY blessed in not having to work. I planned to return to work when he was 3 months old, yet, became pregnant again. At this point the cost of child care for 2 children was just to high to justify going back to work . I wanted to stay home anyway so it all worked out for the best.
2. What lifestyle changes did you make, if any, to be able to afford to stay home (ie, disconnect cable, internet, cell phone, home phone, down grady vehicles or homes) I think you know where I am getting at?
We didn't really have to make many changes due to the fact that we weren't big spenders anyway. Mostly it was small things like buying generic brands at the gorcery, making sure to fill up on gas when it was cheap, and not spending as much on extra activities.
3. What state do you live in and what is your household income now and before you were a stay at home mom? You don't have to get exact figures unless you are ok with that, example after I quit my job we make 50,000 less per year now. Just something like that.
I am from KY. Fortunately, our income is higher now. I was in college and just working a low paying job at the time of our first pregnancy and my husband had just graduated college. His pay has since (5 yrs) gone up about $8,000 a year. Our income now is roughly $45,000 a year and we manage just fine. (must note our house is payed off so it would be harder with a large house payment on $45G a year)
4. What was your DH or SO's initial reaction to you wanting to be a SAHM and did that change once the baby arrived?
My husband did not want me to be a SAHM until we found out I was pregnant with our second child. Day care for 2 would have run us close to $800 a month and after the cost of daycare, clothing for work, gas to and from work, lunches, etc.... I wouldn't have made enough to make it worth it for us.
5. How long do you plan to be a SAHM? (until child enters preschool, kindergarten, i am never going back t work)
I'm not sure on this one. At first I planned to return to work when my children reached school. One child will start in one year, the other will start in 2. I am now pregnant with our 3rd child. So only time will tell. As of now, I do plan to do something once the children are all in school but I don't think I will pursue any other career. Just possibly a part time job to bring in a little extra money. I always want taking care of the family to be my main job.
6. Do any of you plan working part time?
I do not currently work part time. I have fallen in love with being a SAHM. I was able to see the 1st of everything and would change that for the world. Plus the fact of my husband working all day to come home and watch the kids while I go to work leaves us little family time so we chose not to do that as well. I could work during the day part time, but around here, part time day care is more expensive than full time and many day cares won't accept part time children.
On an added note, if you truly wish to stay home with your child I would say that it is worth doing whatever you can to make this a possibility. Some people just DO NOT have this option. (single parents, low income families) If you can work it out, it is very worth it.
There are benefits for the entire family. The family is less stressed because as a SAHM you have the time to run errands, grocery shop, clean house, etc. while your husband is at work. Once he gets home, it is all focus on the family. I think it is easier to have a smooth running home and happy family when a parent stays home. Don't get me wrong, I know some wonderful working mothers who run their families with amazing grace. I just think it is easier for SAHM's.
Also, I think some husbands just don't understand what all goes into running a home. My husband had no idea what my days were like until he was in a motorcycle accident and home for 14 weeks. He now has a new appreciation for what my days are like.
When someone asks him " what does your wife do?" He tells them "She is a SAHM and works harder than anyone I know" Bless his heart.
I also think if you agree as a family to stay at home, you should make it worth it for the rest of the family. If the husband comes home to a messy house everyday and never has food prepared after his long day work, he may get resentful. At the same time, there WILL BE DAYS where the house is messy when he comes home. having kids at home all day does make a mess:)
But just make sure you show your appretiation for him by taking care of what you are there to take care of.
Best of luck
1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?
I did, but we were in the middle of a move (literally, on the road in a hotel) when I found out I was pregnant. I never found a job in our new location, so I stayed home.
2. What lifestyle changes did you make, if any, to be able to afford to stay home (ie, disconnect cable, internet, cell phone, home phone, down grade vehicles or homes) I think you know where I am getting at?
None really. We have two vehicles, a big enough house, satellite tv, cell phones, DSL. I do try to use coupons and shop wisely though. I try not to buy things we don't need, but simply want.
3. What state do you live in and what is your household income now and before you were a stay at home mom? You don't have to get exact figures unless you are ok with that, example after I quit my job we make 50,000 less per year now. Just something like that.
We live in Colorado now and DH makes about $68,000 a year and I bring in about $800 a month in child support for my two girls.
When I was working DH made $65,000 a year and I made $40,000 a year. We had child care and extra gas and auto maintenance costs though that pretty much ate up my income.
4. What was your DH or SO's initial reaction to you wanting to be a SAHM and did that change once the baby arrived?
It just happened that I didn't get another job. After our son was born it all fell into place and now we have another little guy, so it's much cheaper to stay home and raise them than to pay someone else to do it.
5. How long do you plan to be a SAHM? (until child enters preschool, kindergarten, I am never going back t work).
Right now I'd like to never go back and be home for the kids when they get home from school, but in reality, I'll probably look for something part-time, while they are in school, when the youngest ones are in 1st grade.
6. Do any of you plan working part time?
Maybe when the youngest ones are in 1st grade. I may want a little something to do outside the house...maybe retail. Nothing major.
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Looks like you got allot of responces but here is mine anyways :)
1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?
I did work full time before and during my pregnancy. I just offically quit today. I was supposed to go back Sept. 4th. I was given 4 months of maternity leave. I waited untill I got paid from disability (6 wks)and from the paid family Med. Leave act (6 wks of the same amount of pay as disability in california) to get the extra money in savings for fall back money. And gave a 3.5 wk notice so if I do need to go back I am more desirable to re-hire
2. What lifestyle changes did you make, if any, to be able to afford to stay home (ie, disconnect cable, internet, cell phone, home phone, down grady vehicles or homes) I think you know where I am getting at?
We didnt have to really make to many changes. I did go for a combo deal on the phone/internet/cable that saved us about $30.00 asnd watch my cell use to not go over my minutes and always keep an eye out for better credit card offers for lower interest rates. We just need to watch what we spend money on. I make a weekly meal plan for dinners and only shop for those items and my DH takes his lunch and gets a weekly allowanvce to do what ever for example we make 1000.00 weekly, my DH gets 50.00 allowance, food gets $75.00, check for coupons, gas gets $50.00 (thankfully DH has a work truck) I pay what ever bill I might have like pg&e and my cell and put say $50.00 for what ever may arrise till next week like doctor apt co-pay, dipers etc...and the rest in savings then at the end of the month I pull what I need out for the house payment and 1st of the month bills etc...
3. What state do you live in and what is your household income now and before you were a stay at home mom? You don't have to get exact figures unless you are ok with that, example after I quit my job we make 50,000 less per year now. Just something like that.
We live in California we are now short $32,000 and if I were to work and make that still, $15,800 would go to day care, then you have to cost of new clothes cuz nothin will fit again for a while, and lets not for get gas prices...here in my part of Cali they range fro $3.03 to $3.59 and you'd probably have to suppliment formula unless your lucky enough to work next door to day care and can nurse all the time and costco has the big can;s of formula at like $25.00 that makes probably 2 weeks of food give or take etc....
4. What was your DH or SO's initial reaction to you wanting to be a SAHM and did that change once the baby arrived?
He absoultly did not want me to stay home thinking we couldn't financially do it then I wrote it all out after Max was born (may 11, 2007) and now I am staying home...Once he held his son that was all it took.
5. How long do you plan to be a SAHM? (until child enters preschool, kindergarten, i am never going back t work) As long as I can....hopefully untill he starts school...
6. Do any of you plan working part time? If my work would let me I would but I doubt it. I am cleaning my moms house once a week for my personal spending money and am going to try to get a babysitting job when school starts (I have a older son starting 2nd grade) And I am going to see if I can do afterschool care for a kid or two for like $75.00 a week...
Hope this helps...Good luck and I so hope you get to stay home with your baby..All the sacrafices are worth it I promise!!!
Jenn
Wife to My love Kevin, Mommy to George-7, Max 12.5 wks and Hannah Marie, my angel in heaven on 12/7/05
1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?
I worked full-time until my second child was born. My oldest was 4-years-old at the time; when he was a baby, I worked from home part of the time for about a year, then he went to home daycare -- had many issues with individual daycare providers, I would not ever recommend going this route -- and then he went to a wonderful daycare from age 2-4. When the second was born, I quit immediately after my maternity leave.
2. What lifestyle changes did you make, if any, to be able to afford to stay home (ie, disconnect cable, internet, cell phone, home phone, down grady vehicles or homes) I think you know where I am getting at?
Luckily, my husband had a growing real estate business and we have not missed my income at all. We did and do miss the benefits, however.
3. What state do you live in and what is your household income now and before you were a stay at home mom? You don't have to get exact figures unless you are ok with that, example after I quit my job we make 50,000 less per year now. Just something like that.
We live in Pennsylvania and our household income is over $100,000; actually, much higher now than it was when I was working full-time.
4. What was your DH or SO's initial reaction to you wanting to be a SAHM and did that change once the baby arrived?
My DH did not want me to quit, largely due to the health insurance benefits I would be giving up, and the uncertainty that comes with his career. I worked for a university and we get tuition benefits for our kids -- a 75% reduction in tuition -- so the deal was always that I would go back before the kids started college... Now that my oldest is 11, I don't see it happening.
5. How long do you plan to be a SAHM? (until child enters preschool, kindergarten, i am never going back t work)
See above... My kids are 7 and 11 and I almost feel like they need me at home MORE now than they did as babies & toddlers, and I foresee that being the case for a few more years. I do miss the world of work, LORD, some days in the summer I feel like I'm not going to survive unless I get a job, but overall I feel that I have done the best possible thing for all of us by being a SAHM.
6. Do any of you plan working part time?
I do work part-time from home, doing real estate work for my husband. I do not do much doing the summer, though; mostly just work when the kids are in school.
I am a lurker, but found your questions interesting so here goes:
1. Did any of you work before you got pregnant? Did you just quit your job right after you had the baby?
I worked up until 2 days before my 1st child was born. I knew I would be staying home and told my boss 6 months prior to my last day.
2. What lifestyle changes did you make, if any, to be able to afford to stay home (ie, disconnect cable, internet, cell phone, home phone, down grady vehicles or homes) I think you know where I am getting at?
We planned for this and so my income had been used for savings before I quit. We lived pretty cheaply to begin with and God blessed us with big increases in my husband's income.
3. What state do you live in and what is your household income now and before you were a stay at home mom? You don't have to get exact figures unless you are ok with that, example after I quit my job we make 50,000 less per year now. Just something like that.
We lived in Kansas then, and Colorado now (big change in cost of living-especially in housing) We decreased in annual income by $13,000 since my husband received a large raise prior to my last day.
4. What was your DH or SO's initial reaction to you wanting to be a SAHM and did that change once the baby arrived?
We made the decision when his career took off. I originally wanted a big career, but things changed and where we were living didn't allow the career I dreamed of. We chose to follow his career and when we had children I would stay home. 2 children later I am so glad that we made this choice. I never had the dilema of should I work or not, it was already decided.
5. How long do you plan to be a SAHM? (until child enters preschool, kindergarten, i am never going back t work)
I plan to be a SAHM permanently. If an opportunity came up for a part time flexible job that I would love once the kids are in school, then maybe. But I want more children so that could be a long time.
6. Do any of you plan working part time?
answered above
I will add that being a SAHM mom, although tough at times is so important. There isn't a more important job out there. Your kids need YOU and really thrive on that mommy time. There are a lot of ways to save money and daycare eats into so much income anyway. Just take the plunge, you will be glad you did it!!
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