Redneck Dictionary

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Redneck Dictionary
10
Fri, 08-27-2004 - 8:19pm
There is a show on t.v. that have the most redneck men alive on it. Everyweek they have a word out of the redneck dictionary, and this is the word for the week.


HAMMER:

Hey, hon, can I have a sandwich? What do you want (ham)mer or turkey?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
In reply to: fafaa
Fri, 08-27-2004 - 9:20pm

I love that show! lol


They have a comedy tour on dvd that you should check out. It is hilarious! A lot of it is stereotypical shouthern stuff...but really funny!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
In reply to: fafaa
Sat, 08-28-2004 - 12:03am
I have seen it on Comedy central several times. Since I live in WV, I thought I could let everyone know the language. LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
In reply to: fafaa
Sat, 08-28-2004 - 11:39am
Redneck Dictionary - Learn ta Speak Redneck

AH: The thing you see with, denoting individuality.

Usage: "Ah think Ah've got somethin' in mah ah."

ALL: A petroleum-based lubricant.

Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

AST: To interrogate or inquire, as when a revenue agent seeks information about illegal

moonshine stills.

Usage: "Don't ast me so many question. It makes me mad."

ATTAIR: Contraction used to indicate the specific item desire.

Usage: "Pass me attair gravy, please"

AWL: An amber fluid used to lubricate engines.

Usage: "Ah like attair car, but it sure does take a lot of awl."

BAHS: A supervisor.

Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"

BARD: Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."

Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

BAWL: What water does at 212 degrees Fahrenheit.

Usage: "That gal cain't even bawl water without burnin' it."

BLEEVE: Expression of intent or faith.

Usage: "Ah bleeve we ought to go to church this Sunday."

BOB WAR: A sharp, twisted cable.

Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

CENT: Plural of cent.

Usage: "You paid five dollars for that necktie? Ah wouldn't give fiddy cent for it."

CO-COLA: The soft drink that started in Atlanta and conquered the world.

Usage: "Ah hear they even sell Co-cola in Russia."

CYST: To render aid.

Usage: "Can Ah cyst you with those packages, ma'am."

DAYUM: A cuss word Rhett Butler used in "Gone With the Wind."

Usage: "Frankly,my dear, I don't give a dayum."

DID: Not alive.

Usage: "He's did, Jim."

EAR: A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).

Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!"

ETLANNA: Atlanta.

EVERWHICHAWAYS: To be scattered in all directions.

Usage: "You should have been there when the train hit attair chicken truck. Them chickens flew everwhichaways.

FAR: A state of combustion that produces heat and light; a conflagration.

Usage: "Ah reckon it's about time to put out the far and call in the dawgs."

"If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things

gonna catch far."

FARN: Not local.

Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

FLARES: The colorful, sweet-smelling part of a plant.

Usage: "If yo wife's mad at ya, it's smart to take her some flares."

FUR: (1) Measure of distance; (2) Because of or to indicate possession.

Usage: (1) "It's a fur piece ta Etlanna."

(2) "Fur yew ta get attair new car yew gotta go see Bubba bout a loan."

GOOD OLE BOY: Any Southern male between age 16 and 60 who has an amiable disposition and is fond of boon companions, strong drink, hound dawgs, fishin', huntin', and good lookin' women, but not necessarily in that order.

Usage: "Bubba's a good ole boy."

GRIYUTS: What no Southern breakfast would be without - grits.

Usage: "Ah like griyuts with butter and sawt on'em, but Ah purely love'em with red-eye gravy."

GUMMIT: An often-closed bureaucratic institution.

Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!

HALE: Where General Sherman is going for what he did to Etlanna.

Usage: "General Sherman said "War is Hale" and he made sure it was."

HAZE: A contraction.

Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."

HEAVY DEW: A request for action.

Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"

HEP: To aid or benefit.

Usage: "Ah can't hep it if Ah'm still in love with you."

HOT: A blood-pumping organ.

HOD - Not easy.

Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."

IDINIT: Term employed by genteel Southerners to avoid saying Ain't.

Usage: "Mighty hot today, idinit?"

IGNERT: Not smart.

Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

JAWJUH: A highly flammable state just north of Florida.

Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."

JEW: Did you.

Usage: "Jew want to buy attair comic book, son, or just stand there and read it here?"

JU-HERE: A question.

Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?"

KUMPNY: Guests.

Usage: "Be home on time. We's havin' kumpny for supper."

LAW: Police, or as Southerners pronounce it, "PO-leece".

Usage: "We better get outta here. That bartender's doen called the law."

LIKKER: Whiskey; either the amber kind bought in stores or the homemade white kind that

federal authorities frown upon.

Usage: "Does he drink? Listen, he spills more likker than most people drink.'

LOT: Luminescent.

Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."

MASH: To press, as in the case of an elevator button.

Usage: "Want me to mash yo floor for you, Ma'am?"

MUCHABLIGE: Thank you.

Usage: "Muchablige for the lift, mister."

MUNTS: A calendar division.

Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."

NAWTHUN: Anything that is not Southern.

Usage: "He is a classic product of the superior Nawthun educational system."

OVAIR: In that direction.

Usage: "Where's yo paw, son?" He's ovair, suh."

PHRAISIN: Very cold.

Usage: "Shut that door. It's phraisin in here."

PLUM: Completely.

Usage: "Ah'm plum wore out."

RANCH: A tool.

Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh

bard a few munts ago."

RATS: Entitled power or privilege.

Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."

RETARD: To stop working.

Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."

RETCH: To grasp for.

Usage: "The right feilder retch over into the stands and caught the ball."

SAAR: The opposite of sweet.

Usage: "These pickles Sure are saar."

SEED: Past tense.

Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

SHOVELAY: A GM car.

Usage: "Nobody could drive a Shovelay like Junior Johnson."

SINNER: Exact middle of.

Usage: "Have you been to the new shoppin' sinner."

SQUARSH: A vegetable; To flatten.

Usage: "Warsh that squarsh, Bubba ... you don't know where its been!"

SUGAR: A kiss.

Usage: "Come here and give me some sugar."

TAR: A rubber wheel.

Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup

truck."

TAR ARNS: A tool employed in changing wheels.

Usage: "You cain't change a tar without a tar arn."

TARRED: Exhausted; fatigued.

Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."

"Ah'm too tarred to go bowlin' nonight."

TIRE: A tall monument.

Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in

Paris sometime."

UHMURKIN: Someone who lives int he United States of Uhmurka.

Usage: "Thomas Jefferson was a great Uhmurkin."

VIEW: Contraction.

Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

WAR: Metal strands attached to posts to enclose domestic animals.

Usage: "Be careful and don't get stuck on that bob war."

WARSH: To clean.

Usage: "Warsh that squarsh, Bubba ... you don't know where its been!"

WHUP: To beat or to strike.

Usage: "OOOEEE!!! Yer mama's gonna whup you fer sayin' a cuss word."

YANKEE SHOT: A Southern child's navel.

Usage: "Momma, what's this on mah belly?" "That's yo Yankee Shot."

ZAT: Is that.

Usage: "Zat yo dawg?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2003
In reply to: fafaa
Sat, 08-28-2004 - 2:37pm
Oh, I just love these! I have a bit of family that lives in Georgia and Arkansas and I just LOVE it when they are all together. My 2 boys, having been raised most of their lives in ST. Louis, find so much amusement in simply listening to their cousins from the South talk. Now, that's not to say you have to live in the South to be a Redneck. No no...not at all. For goodness sakes, my father is a huge redneck...God love him! LOL

Thanks for the laughs!

Diane

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
In reply to: fafaa
Sat, 08-28-2004 - 4:03pm
see now, when you don't LIVE here in the bible belt you can be amused by it, when you DO live here and your dd's TEACHER talks like that it's a little different! lol. i was born and raised all over the south, and i'm so paranoid about the accent it's not even funny. i don't have one and neither do my parents, but we do slip up and add in coloquialisms like ya'll and (oh lord) 'fixin' sometimes, and i'm so anal about it when i hear them coming out of my kid's mouths. alleria asked me what 'ain't' meant a few months ago, and my reply? "ain't means you're too lazy or too ignorant to say 'isn't'!" i swear to god if my children start to sound like they're from around here i'm going to pack up and move!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-1998
In reply to: fafaa
Sat, 08-28-2004 - 4:20pm
Miss Clarity, can I hold your ink pen? LOL

I am in the deep south as a transplant and it has taken some getting used to.

Why is it called an ink pen? Don't all pens run on ink? I can see ballpoint pen, felt tip pen, sharpie, but why Ink Pen?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
In reply to: fafaa
Sat, 08-28-2004 - 4:53pm
beats the heck out of me, i guess it's to distinguish them from all those ketchup and lipstick pens running around. you'd hate to mix them up and all...*snurk*

my biggest baffling southern tradition is the way that people think that "what church do you go to?" is an appropriate response to "hi, my name is...." what the heck is up with that? after years and years of being an agnostic down here i've learned to take great amusement from their reactions when i tell them "the united satanist cathedral right downtown, why do you ask?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
In reply to: fafaa
Sat, 08-28-2004 - 7:34pm
Don't forget the strawberry for a writing utensil as seen on Blue Collar T.V. LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-1998
In reply to: fafaa
Sat, 08-28-2004 - 8:42pm
ITA! LMAO at what people would look like after hearing that!

We are Catholic so you can imagine it gets a great reception down here, NOT! I had a neighbor continue to expound upon all of the offerings of her huge Baptist church even after I answered her question by telling her we were members of our local and ONLY Catholic church in a city of 50,000/area of 100,000. But you know, we Catholics do "all that weird stuff" - seriously someone here said that to me. Like honoring Mary is such a bad thing. You could do a whole lot worse than to teach your kids to honor mothers. But I digress....

We also hear "have you found a church home?". The whole idea of shopping around is so foreign to me. I am from up north where you are whatever religion you are: Catholic, Presbyterian, Unitarian, Jewish, whatever, you go to that church or not at all, and no one really talks about it.

On the upside, people are really nice and being invited to their church is a whole lot better than some creepy neighbor who lets his dog poop on my lawn or complains about the noise I make dragging out the garbage cans or something like that.

But its definitely the south. Our next door neighbor bagged an 8 point buck one Sunday morning and strung it up in his backyard to clean it before church. We live in a subdivision, not out in the country. They are really nice neigbors though, besides the gory stuff.....

LOL I should start telling people I am wiccan. And my kid is not allowed to read anything but Harry Potter books. And that we DRINK (OMG) on Sunday. Where I live you cannot go out to a restaurant and drink a beer (or any alcohol) on Sunday.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
In reply to: fafaa
Sun, 08-29-2004 - 8:56pm
Forgot a few that I can remember.


fascinate(sp?)

Give me a light beer.

Are you on a diet?

Yep, this shirt has nine buttons, but I can only fascinate (fasten 8)

European



Hey, watch it, European on my boots. (your a peeing)

Something to make you laugh on a Monday morning.