A sad day for me

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
A sad day for me
20
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 5:33pm

But it is also a day to be thankful. 3 years ago today my MIL died. She's been SO MUCH on my mind. I don't know why anniversaries bring up so many memories. It's good if it's a happy anniversary, but not if it's not.

She died of metastatic breast cancer. She suffered a lot, and that has been hard for me to understand sometimes. But her actual death was very peaceful. She died at home, surrounded by family. We were all there, inluding her grandkids, even though only Matthew remembers, and he is the only one who remembers her, unfortunately. Justin was only 2, and the girls were still babies. Michael is the one who pronounced her dead, which is both tragic and beautiful. It was one of the saddest moments of my life.

So it is pouring pouring POURING rain here today. Just sheets of torrential downpour. We were all going to go to her grave, and plant flowers. Michael said we could go as a family later in the week, because of the weather. However, he went by himself and is there now, planting the flowers in this downpour. Maybe he needed the time to himself.

I worry for my FIL today. He has never gotten over his grief in losing his beloved wife of more than 40 years. He has become a changed man. He has aged considerably, his hair has turned gray, he is unhealthy, and I don't think he wants to be here anymore. He stays shut up in the house where she died, the house Michael grew up in. He has never slept in their bedroom again. He got rid of none of her things, and her daughters eventually went through everything and weeded it out. We try and see him as much as possible, but he is a sad soul. I know he must be grieving today. Luckily, he is with my SIL Bernadette and her family today. I think they were going to go to the grave also.

I loved my MIL more than I love my own mom. That may sound terrible, but she was my *real* mom in so many ways. I knew her since I was 15. She told me I was her daughter too. She was the most giving, loving person I have ever met. I still miss her every day of my life. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her. I am glad she's at peace, and I thank God for her life, and for the privilege of knowing her. I am thankful for all she taught me, about being a good wife and mother. I am so thankful that she taught me of her generous heart and compassionate nature. I am so grateful that she was such an awesome grandma to my kids, and wish so much she had stuck around to see them grow up. I am thankful most of all that she raised her kids so well, especially my husband, who learned kind-heartedness and compassion and integrity and morality from her.

I will always miss her, but I can now look back on her life, and the time I was with her, and thank God for her friendship and love, and feel a peace in my heart.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2005
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 5:36pm

I am so sorry Sofia.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 5:47pm

First of all, ((Hugs)) to you and Michael today! Your MIL sounds like a wonderful woman, and I am so sorry for your loss.


I will keep your entire family in my thoughts and prayers, especially your father-in-law, that he may also find that peace in his heart.


((HUGS))


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 5:50pm
Oh Sophia, she sounds like a wonderful person. Remember, she will always live on in your memories....
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 7:01pm

***HUGS***


Sofia I'm so sorry for your loss, it sounds like she was a very loving and giving person, and its sad that she went through what she did, but she was a strong person it seems and a little piece of her has stayed with all of

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2006
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 7:50pm

Sofia,


I am thinking of you and your family today.

Lilypie Maternity tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 7:58pm

HUGS Sofia. Your MIL sounds like she was a beautiful lady! I hope your FIL is ok. I have seen many elderly people have a hard time after a loss.

Thinking of you and your family

baby development Proud hospital birthing, disposible diapering, vaccinating, CIO, breastfeeding and supplementing Mam
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 8:09pm

Oh Sofia! I'm so sorry sweetie!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 8:12pm

Your MIL was a wonderful person, and I know how much she meant to you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 8:26pm
Sofia, I know that today is such a hard day for you and your family. Please remember how blessed you were to have known her for the time that you did. Hang on to those wonderful memories, and it can help you through the hard times. Give my prayers to Michael and your family.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2005
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 8:35pm
Just wanted to send hugs and prayers to you and your family on this
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