SAHM’s TTC/Expecting Thread?
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| Tue, 01-11-2005 - 9:26pm |
It seems like there are at least a few of us on this board who have mentioned that they are either ttc or expecting. Thought we might do a ttc/expecting roll call and then maybe we can check-in with each other from time to time … for fun and for support … and for getting to know each other.
Here’s my brain-dump on this topic!
DH and I have decided to ttc #3 … we have two children, dd 5 and ds 2 … we are over 35 so we have to consider that ttc might take longer than we’d like it to or that it might not happen at all. I charted with the previous pregnancies. It took over a year to get pg the first time … which is why I learned to chart in the first place. #2 happened after only the second cycle (we were shocked. I don‘t think it had occurred to us that we could succeed so quickly after our first experience). Also, I have had two c-sections and so in addition to there being medical concerns about the impact of our age on ttc and pg … c-section scars can also have a negative impact. So I guess I have as much suspense going into ttc this time as I did the first time around! Crazy.
Dh is traveling this month, so that may interfere. I haven’t formally begun to chart, so I can’t quite predict. I need to check out the charting board; I am a bit rusty.
I have other concerns this time around that I didn’t have before. We never questioned whether one or two kids would be more than we could handle. But I must admit, we have thought more carefully about the additional responsibility that would come with a third … both financial and logistical. On those hairy evenings when DH is working late and everyone is melting down … you have the thought that you might be insane to consider adding one more. And since the kids are not in school yet (DD starts kindergarten next fall), we are pretty clueless about how hectic it will potentially be for us in five years with a gaggle of grade-schoolers. LOL just picturing it. But in spite of some concerns (these choices are never cut and dry), we think we might regret it if we don’t at least open the door and see what happens. :)


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yeah, I think the idea is kool! I have a 2 year old son, and thinking about TTC again....I'm only 24, and want to go back to school to finish my bachelors, but don't want my kids too far apart in age. With my son we only "tried" one time and I was pregnant, VERY unexpected! I'm a little worried about having a harder time conceiving this time and it would take longer. We didn't officially start trying, but we were very very careless this cycle, suppose to start on friday, so we'll see! I highly doubt i'm pregnant! Where will you start the thread at?
kate & Dominic(2 years)
We're expecting #2, due July. We got pregnant pretty quickly both times, and I'm ready after this one for a long break. I'm feeling great now - second trimester is the best. Good luck to everyone ttc!
Melissa
This is just a thought, but could we move this thread to the member to member folder? I almost did not see it because the board is moving so quickly. Maybe copy and paste the posts there? Otherwise it will keep getting knocked down and we would have to search for it in the archives if no one posts in a while.
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Dh & I got pregnant with dd after ttc 3 months, and we were so pleased it happened so quickly. Now we have been ttc baby #2 since July 2004...still nothing!!! So frusterating!
I think when it does happen this time around, I am going to look into giving birth at a birth center. I didn't care for the hospital setting, and to be quite honest, they did nothing for me. They ignored me the whole time I was there. When I was in transition, they told my dh to tell me to go to sleep because there was no way I could be about to deliver now. Finally someone came in and saw the head was almost out, and they told me to hold it in...yeah right!!!
I have never tried charting or temps or anything and I am wondering if I should. I don't even know where to start!
Lesley
Edited 1/13/2005 12:26 am ET ET by donachiara
Well, here's some positive vibes your way. I was just talking to another mom at dd's preschool field trip today and she said the same thing ... that it happened quickly for her the first time and then took a little longer the second time. It's funny how the first experience sets your expectations and yet things can vary so wildly each time ... from ttc to l&d to the children themselves.
<> I know a few people who have had positive experiences with birth centers and especially with midwives. Unfortunately for me, with 2 c-sections in my past I don't really have the option of a birth center. If I am lucky enough to get pregnant again, I would like to try to have a vba2c ... but I hear it's really difficult these days to find hcp that will support a trial of labor for someone like me. The legal climate is just too unfriendly and the ACOG seems to actively discouraging OB's from supporting it. We'll just have to see .... My dr's are pretty cool. It will be interesting to see what they say.
In regards to improving the quality of your experience, I think it's good to learn from the first experience and make changes. My SIL switched from an OB practice to a midwife practice and she switched hospitals. Her midwife encouraged her to try hypnobirthing ... where you use self-hypnosis to remain calm and improve your experience. And I think all of that worked out very well for her. I think her first experience was pretty traumatic, but the next two were much improved. Her dh encouraged me to look into hypnobirthing when I was pg with #2, because he was so impressed with the difference between the first delivery and the next one. I took a class and it was really worthwhile. Unfortunately, I was 13 days overdue (with what turned out to be a nine pound baby) and I never got the chance to use everything I'd been practicing because they won't induce someone with a scar. I had a repeat c-section. But I highly recommend looking into hypnosis for childbirth. There is a board for it here:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-pphypnobirth
There are a couple of techniques out there. The book and tape set that was used in my class is by a woman named Marie Mongan. I think it's available on amazon. And there's a website, too.
I learned to chart from this book, which I have posted to others before:
Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health (Revised Edition)by Toni Weschler
"How often have you heard that a menstrual cycle should be 28 days and that ovulation usually occurs on Day 14?..."
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060937645/qid=1105590628/sr=2-1/ref=pd_ka_b_2_1/104-2351285-1051962
The info is really empowering (though it may seem a bit dense and dry at first) ... and it can be used to achieve OR avoid preganancy. I know some people who have used it as part of their BC regime when they were frustrated by the side effects of BC pills. I have a friend who had her second child last year at forty. She was not having any luck ttc ... so I recommended that she check this book out. She became pg shortly after putting this info to work for them. I'm sure it's not for everyone. You have to be somewhat comfortable with yourself to do all of the observations ... there are several "signs" that the author recommends that you chart ... if you do *all* of them instead of just, say, taking your Basal Body Temp you have a better idea what's going on. And theoretically, you have a better success rate. If you're curious, my 2 cents is that it's worth a look. If you have questions, I can try to help. Like I said, I am a bit rusty ... but I'll be getting the book out myself soon. There are sample charts at the back of the book that you can Xerox/copy to get started. And I hear that there is an interactive version of her materials here on ivillage ... but there is a subscription fee. Personally, I recommend trying the book first before you subscribe to anything.
Best of luck to you!
Welcome!
<>
That must have been stressful for you ... I am glad that things turned out okay in spite of the challenges!
<>
Since you have the luxury of time before your next pregnancy, you could do some research. I lurk on the VBAC board trying to stay current, since I'd like to try for Vba2c if I have a third child. The women there are very knowledgable and helpful and they know a lot about issues like this. From what I have read there, it seems women are told all sorts of things about the condition of their scar and the chances of rupture. It is hard to know what to make of it all as a non-hcp. You might consider getting a copy of your hospital records and seeking a second or even a third opinion when you get closer to considering another pregnancy. In the meantime, the women on the vbac board might be able to direct you to some articles and references on this topic. You could also try the Ask the Midwife board (Peg the midwife is very helpful and would have an opinion to offer, I'm sure) and the Women's Health Issues board ... formerly Ask the OB/GYN ... where an OB still answers questions that are posted. I'm not sure, but I think there might be a doulas and midwives board here, too. They would be an excellent source of info on a topic like this.
VBAC Support
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppvbac
Ask The Midwife
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppmidwife
Women's Health Issues
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppobgyn
Also try these books, if you haven't checked them out already:
The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer, Rhonda Wheeler
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0399525173/qid=1105593193/sr=2-1/ref=pd_ka_b_2_1/104-2351285-1051962
Obstetric Myths Versus Research Realities by Henci Goer
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0897894278/qid=1105593193/sr=2-2/ref=pd_ka_b_2_2/104-2351285-1051962
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0553381156/qid=1105593193/sr=2-3/ref=pd_ka_b_2_3/104-2351285-1051962
And Henci Goer's website:
www.hencigoer.com
"Henci Goer specializes in birth issues.
Henci Goer, award-winning medical writer and internationally known speaker, is the author of The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. Her previous book, Obstetric Myths Versus Research Realities, is a highly-acclaimed resource for childbirth professionals. An independent scholar, she is an acknowledged expert on evidence-based maternity care. Goer has written consumer education pamphlets and numerous articles for magazines as diverse as Reader's Digest and the Journal of Perinatal and Neonatal Nursing.
Previously appearing on ParentsPlace.com as the "Birth Guru", she is currently a resident expert on Lamaze International's website, the Lamaze Institute for Normal Birth. Now concentrating on writing and speaking, Goer was a doula (labor support professional) for over 20 years and a Lamaze educator for ten."
<>
Any time! Best of luck with your decision.
Hi! I just joined the board. I am currently 21w5d pregnant with baby #2, another little boy! His name will be Micah Nathaniel. Our first son was born on 5/26/03 and his name is Josiah Robert.
This is actually my 3rd pregnancy. I miscarried my first at 8 weeks (June 2002) and then I also miscarried Josiah's twin at 7 weeks. This pregnancy has gone very smooth, considering my history. I had a small amount of spotting early on, but it only lasted a couple of days and everything else has been fine.
I'm just now starting to get over my morning sickness and migraines, both which started around 6 weeks. I'm still on Zofran for my nausea, but soon I probably won't have to take it anymore.
Anyway, that's me. I wanted to say good luck to you who are also expecting! I'm sending BFP vibes to you who are TTC!
Karyn
Thanks for all of that!!!
I will check it out!
Hopefully, I can get to a store soon, (this weekend is full of all the funerals) but I hope maybe Sunday we can get to a mall and get some shopping done. Actualy, I think my gf has the Taking Charge of your Fertility book. I seem to recall her talking about it. I will check it out, and believe me, I will have questions!!!!
Thanks
Lesley
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