SIL says she "couldn't handle....
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| Wed, 06-02-2004 - 11:37am |
TRYING to make a long story short...
SIL is currently "seeing" a guy that lives across the country from us (oh, for a good 2 weeks now) who is currently MARRIED. I know when they first started seeing each other, he was still WITH his wife and two kids, but he was "looking for an excuse to leave her". Supposedly, since then he has left her (how does SHE know that, he lives across the country from us??). Pretty bad senareo, huh? Well, she is planning on moving over there to be with him after she graduates from college next spring. She has a DD who is almost 7 yrs old now, and I couldn't tell you how many of her momma's boyfriends that poor girl has seen come and go! We have tried to tell her that it's just not normal for 1st graders to "pretend" to have sex all the time and talks about who her boyfriend is, and the next breath talk about who her NEXT boyfriend is going to be (I couldn't tell you how many times I've heard SIL say those same words!). I'm just so sad for our poor neice.
Anyway, the point of all of this. She's making all of these plans for her future with this guy after knowing him for a few short days, and she goes on and on about how he is trying to talk her into being a stay at home mom when she moves out there, because he will take care of her so she could be home for her DD and thier future children together. She very loudly goes on and on about how she could NOT just sit on her butt at home and do nothing! The first time I heard her say this (to me, a housewife), I shook it off by laughing at her and told her that if she thinks staying at home means sitting on your butt, then she's got something else coming. Immidiately she went on and on about how I AM busy taking care of three kids and her difficult brother, but it wouldn't be like that for her. Just this weekend, I heard her say the SAME thing, probably three times withen 15 minutes, and I just cringed everytime I heard it. I kept my mouth shut (for the most part). But what REALLY drove me nuts, was that she said how his other idea, was for her to be a substitute teacher so she could be off when her DD is off (which is a career that I have openly talked about pursuing for that EXACT reason). So, then she went on about how she can't "sit at home all summer" either. UGH!! Is she out to make me mad or what? I do beleive DH that she just really is that unthoughtful (not a first for her), but why doesn't she get the point??
The thing is, IF this really does happen, and IF it really does work out (hey some crazy senareos do pan out), maybe she SHOULD consider taking some time off, if for no other reason, than to help her DD get her life straightened out. She is one screwed up little girl, and SIL is talking about yanking her away from the grandparents that practically raise her. Some time to reconnect with her DD would do them both a world of good. I love my SIL to death, and we CAN be close, but it breaks my heart how low on the priorities her DD is.
What in the world can I say in my own defense when she talks about how housewifes "sit on their butts"?? The whole family is like this, so I would LIKE to be able to say SOMETHING in my own defense (since normally, they talk about how lazy I am behind my back, and opperitunity like this would actually be a nice way for me to say my peice, but I'm STUMPED!).
Sorry for the long rant. It's been building up for awhile now. :(
Angie

Hon, I wouldn't even say a word- I'd just start laughing hysterically and comment that obviously she's never managed a home and family before :) LOL! Some people truly don't have a clue.
I swear It sounds like your talking about my sister...lol
My sister is the same way, she met some guy over the internet who is "divorcing his wife" yeah right! She see's him once every 5 months or so, and talks about this great life she is going to go have with him...this is about guy number 6 since she divorced kids father about 7 years ago.
I try to be compassionate that she was married and had a baby at 16, I know that must have been hard. I blame my mother really she was exact same way and thought(still does) that you must be gay or just ugly and unnatractive and worthless if you are without a guy for more than a week. All three of my sisters act the same way and it drives me crazy!!!
They all think of me as some kind of freak because I homeschool my children and am a SAHM even though I was a pre-school and substitute teacher. Each one of them at one time or another have needed me to care for their kids while they worked and constantly made comments about me being "lucky" to get to stay home and just sit around! Like watching all of their kids is sitting around! I sometimes have up to 8 kids!
Well for a while I went and worked at a church pre-school and they had no one to watch their kids(I felt horribly guilty like I abandoned nephews and neice's) But they gained a whole new respect for me when their kids didn't come home clean anymore, and fed 3 healthy meals with lots of fruit and veggies, and whinning and complaing how much they hated daycare and wanted there aunt Traci!
I sat them all down and told them...I am not some glorified babysitter! I love all my nephews and nieces and have practically raised them all! It is not my fault that I have a supportive Dh who loves and cares for me! STop making comments about me staying home, I understand that sometimes you can feel resentful when, your having to leave your kids everyday and have no one at home to support you emotionally, BUT I know how "Fortunate" I am and am thankful for what I am allowed to stay home and do.
I then made each of them spend the day with me to see what happens during a "typical" day. I swear they have never made another comment since!!
Sometimes you just have to tell it like it is!!!
Traci
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HEATHER
If she thinks that all we do is sit and do nothing, then she can think that. But no one knows anything about something they have never done.