This is so embarassing...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
This is so embarassing...
4
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 7:55pm

I wanted to ask for advice on something that has been on my mind.


A few weeks ago at the park I started a conversation with another mom. I could tell that she was probably a really nice person and seemed very sincere. I really got the impression that she was trying to get around to asking if I wanted to talk again, and maybe set up a playdate for our kids. I knew what she was trying to get the courage to ask, but instead I pretended to let it go over my head.


I am not sure why I do this. Most people think that I am a people person and would probably say I was an extrovert if they were asked to put me in a category. I am usually very popular in a crowd.

Are you a M.O.M-Mom of Many? Find other M.O.M's

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2003
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 8:57pm
Hi,

I lurk here frequently. I am a SAHM to my almost 9 month old daughter. Your post definitely caught my eye. In my other life I worked with autistic kids. This is a job where you have to be able to know what the kids are thinking because some of them cannot express what they are thinking. Anyway, I felt a need to respond to your post because I feel the same way. Most times I am able to tell what people are thinking. I am also very good at telling what people's intentions are. I don't think it has to be with being psychic. I just think that we have very good observation skills, good at reading people's body language, etc, etc. I am not saying that I know what people are going to say before they say it, but I have a general idea of where they are going with something.

I do not have a lot of close friends, but I tend to get along well with everybody. In a new situation I am usually quiet, because I am sitting back observing everybody. I can usually tolerate being around people for longer periods than you mentioned, but if I dislike somebody I have trouble being around them at all. I also have trouble having a conversation with someone when I know their intentions are not positive. Another thing I have trouble with is asking somebody for something when I know I am bothering them or perhaps inconviencing (sp?) them.

Anyway, I really enjoyed working with autistic kids, and I think I really was able to sharpen this skill in my classroom. I am not sure sharpening this skill is always good though.

This got long. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

Kendra
Avatar for jennyberm
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 9:33pm
I think my sister may be like that too, or at least she thinks she is, lol! Just kidding, she really empathizes more than most people do or can. Funny thing is that that makes it hard for me to be around HER because she is so darn emotional. I am more of the analytical type. I think I avoid relationships, like you do, because I need time to process information more slowly. The internet works well for me because I can fully think out what I am saying as I type it. There's a lot of dead time when I talk to someone IRL, lol. It gets very uncomfortable. I do so much better when I know someone and how they will react to what I will say.

Anyway, on to the psychoanalysis... I think your problem here is that you see it as a bad thing. I think you may be too hung up on the fact that the Bible says that fortune-telling (which this isn't, btw) is evil or whatever. If you look at it as a gift from God, rather than a curse from the Devil, you may be able to control it more so that only the good things come through. Clear as mud? The reason I say this is that you aren't bothered with this from your DH and DC. Because you love them, because you are focused on enjoying them, all the extraneous crud isn't coming through. Only the things that affect you in a good way come through.

I am totally making this up so take it with a grain of salt (or an opiate). But try to test my theory out if you are so inclined. Find someone new and really throw yourself into the fact that you can see the world through their eyes. Take advantage of the rare opportunities you have to see the world in such a unique light. Call it research. ;)

Jenny

Proud Mommy to Cameron (8/4/01) and

Cassia (7/15/03)





*HUGS* TOTAL!
give jennyberm more *HUGS*

Get hugs of your own

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 11:42am

Thanks Kendra!


I am a former preschool Teacher, I wonder if there is a link with people like us and the professions we pick. I think my Dh is probably right that mine is maybe hyper because of my childhood. I beleive all people have intuition I think some people maybe listen to theirs more?


I had an incidence happen a few weeks ago that really got me interested in examining myself further. My 7 year old was at football practice and suddenly I just "knew" that something was wrong. At first I thought something horrible had happened and that maybe there had been a wreck. My 2 year old started acting strangely as well and kept insisting that we go get his brother. I got sick to my stomach and had to give myself a cold shower to calm down. After about 10 minutes I calmed down and the feeling just went away. I thought hmm...that was weird! I was able to go and watch Tv after that and was fine. My 2 year old seemed fine as well.


Well when Dh got home he says that Matt had a problem at football practice! He told me that Matt's helmet pads were too thick and that they had been pressing into the side of his head were you have some pretty big arteries. One of the dads is a doctor and said his pads were cutting off his circulation. Matt got dizzy and sick to his stomach and had to sit out the rest of the time. Matt looks at me and says mommy, didn't you hear me calling you?

Are you a M.O.M-Mom of Many? Find other M.O.M's

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 12:02pm

Thanks Jenny, your post made me laugh! Especially the part about being around your sister! lol


You know I am really not that emotional on the outside...


To my surprise people have even called me cold hearted and have said I am unemotional! This was crazy to me since I knew what I was feeling on the inside. I easily demonstrate love and affection to my kids and children, but I find it very hard to do this with adults. My Dh and I have been having a lot of conversations about this lately and it made me realize that I need to do more to show him my affection.

Are you a M.O.M-Mom of Many? Find other M.O.M's