Struggling with new role. Help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Struggling with new role. Help!
5
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 11:15am
Hello Everyone. I am a new SAHM. I have been a teacher for the past 6 years and loved being a teacher. However, I have always wanted to have kids and be a SAHM too. I have a 9 year old son. I worked when he was little. I did not have the opportunity to stay home.

I have recently had a daughter( she is 4 weeks) and decided to now stay home. It is something that is important to both my husband and myself. However, I am struggling. I am not sure if it is because I have to get used to being home or what. I am used to being home over the summer ( since I teach) and have always loved it. But, I feel lonely at times. My husband is great and helps out with things. I am afraid of missing adults during the day and the feeling of accomplishment I got from my job. I know that being a mom is a blessing and very , very rewarding too.

I guess I am just wondering if there is anyone out there who went through the same feelings when changing to being a SAHM and did you feel better. I have found a playgroup in my area and will go for the first time on Wednesday. I hope it helps. Any words of advice or just to hear that someone else went through this too, would be helpful.

Thanks ,

Cher

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 12:21pm
Hi and welcome to the board,

I think you're doing the right thing in joining a playgroup. Just give yourself time to adjust. There's a sense of loss and security in letting go of your job. Congratulations on your new baby girl and keep in mind you may have mild postpartum depression. I've been home 5 yrs now to my dd and I went thru some of the same feelings. Now that I'm almost finished with school I feel reluctant to go back to the workforce. Well wish you luck and hope to see you again on this board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 1:47pm

I understand how you feel, somewhat. I am a former preschool Teacher and found my job to be extra rewarding. I am a SAHM/Homeschooling mom now. I have a 7 and 2 year old.


Being at work was great since I loved what I did and was surrounded by co-workers with the same love of teaching. I worked before I had my 7 year old, and went back to work from the time my little one was 4 months till he was 2. I LOVED my job and they were so supportive and I actually got to continue breastfeeding my little one at work and he stayed with me a couple of hours each day. It was the perfect arrangement until I started noticing the difference between my oldest and my youngest. It was a hard decision but I quite working to be at home.


I homeschool my children now(long story) and teach preschool out of my home during the school year and in the summer care for my two nephews. This helps fulfil the teacher in me, but I am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 1:58pm
Hi Cher,

Congratulations on your new baby. I have been a SAHM and have to say it was very hard at first and periodically I have times when I really need some adult stimulation but overall I am very happy to be able to stay home. I have 2 boys 18 & 14 and a little girl 1 year old this month!

I had playgroups to go to when my boys were little and it really helped. I did alot of going to the mall, McDonalds, Chuck E Cheeses etc,... when they were little too. I just seem to be happier not doing so much with my daughter(probably because Im older).

Just give yourself time, these boards help trememdously, and I love to shop Ebay!

~Mollie

44, stepmom to boys 23,22 & grandson 15m and mom to boys 18 & 14 and Amazing Grace 12m
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 3:59pm
I think as it is with anyhting you do in your life, when you change something, it takes time to get use to it.
I think it will sink in on your new lifestyle with staying home and things will be ok.
JUst try and joina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 4:20pm
Welcome Cher!

I went through the same feelings, although I am a nurse. What has helped me is making sure I get out of the house almost everyday, whether it's the grocery store, library, or just a drive around town. Also, I have also started doing things just for me....it took some getting use to since I have been running the house and taking care of a 7 month old. So I rediscovered hobbies that I love, like reading. It is so nice to get lost in a book when I am stressed! I have been taking care of the "to-do" things that my husband would normally take care of and it gives me a sense of acomplishment at the end of the day. I love staying at home, even amidst the bad days, and hope you will too! Good luck,

Jill
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