Tantrums! At my breaking point!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Tantrums! At my breaking point!
5
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 3:37pm

Hi ladies,
I am really having a very difficult time with my 16 month old daughter right now. I have never been a patient person, but I am doing my very best to be one. I am at my wits end with her, so much so I am considering getting a full time job. I have tried talking to my family and dh about it, but they just dont see it as a big deal. I love being a stay at home mom most days but sometimes I just get to a breaking point! Putting on her coat, socks, shoes, changing a diaper all these things become a MAJOR deal with her, Im not even talking about a regular tantrum I mean a full blown arching her back tantrum, screaming, hitting, etc. Today we went to gymboree and she was in a swing, she got a couple of turns and I could NOT get her out of the swing! I felt humiliated and embarassed. It feels like she is stepping all over me and taking advantage.
DH has a hard time with putting her coat on also, shoes, etc. But somehow he gets it done quicker and with less effort :(
Today she was nursing, yep Im still nursing and she starts kicking me in the face, I held her leg gently down and said no we dont kick or hit and she kept doing it, I held her leg down again and said no very firmly, I guess she is too young to get it. I really need advice, please!?!?!? I am guessing she just has a very strong willed personality, or maybe this is a phase(hopefully it will pass!)

Thank you!
Monica

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2006
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 4:08pm

hi monica.

not sure if you saw my post (just shortly posted after yours). what i did with my dd and her tantrums was try to ignore them. i do what i need to do with her (whether that's putting on her socks/shoes, getting her ready for bed, etc.) and go about my business. eventually (and it happens time and time again) she understands (or gives in) to my insistence.

my dh also has better luck with our dd. not sure why... i think she just knows how to press my buttons, and isn't sure if her dad has buttons to press, so she doesn't even attempt it.... sometimes i wish that he could spend a whole week alone with her, but then i realize, even if he did, she'd be good for him, so it would be a futile attempt at getting him to understand my plight.

anyway, i wish you luck, and wanted to let you know that i feel your pain!

best regards.
olivia

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2006
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 4:20pm

Hi Monica,


I'm sorry you are struggling with this.

Lilypie Maternity tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 4:42pm

Oh Monica, I feel your pain girl!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2005
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 5:21pm

Monica,


I used to teach preschool and I'm btdt with 2 older kids (8 and 3 and I also have a 14 month old). My biggest tip is ignore it. If its something you have to do, do it quietly and consistently. Just do it, I know tantrums make it harder, but if you stick to your guns and ignore the tantrum sooner or later it will stop. \Don't get upset with her, don't talk to her about it. She's doing it to get attention.


Good for you for still nursing! :) On the nursing front, stop the nursing session if she starts doing something inappropriate and won't stop. Set her down and tell her she can't nurse because of what she's doing and go on with your day.


Hope they tantrums get better soon. I know my oldest dd was big with the tantrums. At bedtime she'd cry until she threw up and my ex-h always said "aww.. maybe she's sick" and babied her. Once we seperated, she still continued to do it and I would quietly clean her up and put her right back to bed and very soon the behavior stopped.


HTH.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 8:02pm
Thanks for the awesome advice ladies! I would LOVE for dh to have one week alone with my daughter as well! I love how he comes home from work and she's all sweet and happy to see him! He is always saying how he would LOVE to be a stay at home dad, like he thinks its a piece of cake or something, ugh Men!
I have been trying to be calm about the whole thing and she still makes it very difficult, Im also afraid to hurt her by forcing her jacket on :(
I really hope it gets easier.
Thanks again ladies :)
Monica
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