Thinking of having another

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Thinking of having another
9
Sun, 08-01-2004 - 2:04pm
I have a question for all the moms who have more than one child. My husband and I are thinking of having another baby-our son is 9 months old. I am still breastfeeding him and still need to lose 25 pounds before we try but I wanted to know how it is to have two children close together. I am a stay at home mom and enjoy every aspect of it. I have read the pros and cons in articles about having kids close together but I wanted to get some feedback from other moms. Any info would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks, Anne
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sun, 08-01-2004 - 6:27pm
i cannot imagine any true cons against having them close together, i have done and witnessed all age spans...and so far the close together is the best...my youngest 2 are 16mo apart and best friends......... my oldest and middle are 15 years apart,and do not get along..... i have a friend whos kids are all 5 years apart,and they HATE each othere, truly hate.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Sun, 08-01-2004 - 7:29pm

Hi,


I have a different side for you. This is just my opinion.


I had my second child when my first was four. This gave my older son lots of time to feel secure and confident in mine and Dh's affections. He never had to share our attention

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Sun, 08-01-2004 - 8:44pm
My kids are 2 years apart and I think it's great. In the beginning it was pretty hard but now that they are 3 and 5 I think it is wonderful. They have the same interests and play really well together (most of the time : ) I think having them further apart has it's advantages too, like Traci posted, especially during the first or so. But every family is different and each child reacts differently to a new sibling. You just have to do what feels best for you and your family.

Good luck!

Gwen
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Sun, 08-01-2004 - 11:55pm
I have one daughter that will be 2 this week and my other daughter is 3 1/2 months. It was tiring chasing a very active 2 yr old when I was pregnant and with morning sickness. And after she was born It was extremely hard the first 2 months. having to get up every couple hours to feed the baby then getting up with my 2 yr old at 6 and hopefully they would nap at the same time. I ff her after 2 wks and she has been sleeping through the nite for about a month and a half which made things extremely easier-just to be rested. It was also hard to get used to going out with two kids. And I was getting pretty stir crazy staying home and had to get out once in a while.

I think that they will be great playmates when they get a little older. I don't know if I will have them so close together next time. Still trying to figure that out.

Paula

Mom to Abby and Lydia

Wife to Jonathan

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2004
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 12:09am
My kids are 16,11,9, and 1. I have two stepkids who are 24 and 27. My fourth Grandchild was due on my baby's first birthday!!!! Do what your heart tells you to do, there is no right or wrong way to do it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 1:22pm
thanks for the advice!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 1:23pm
thanks for your advice
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 1:50pm
wow, yet another thing in common! alleria and tristan are 3 and a half years apart, and while i was holding out for five years i am so glad i had him when i did. alleria was just like your oldest, a complete help and never gave me any trouble. she was old enough to understand and was really excited about having a brother, and old enough to be gentle and careful. now they're 20 months and 5, and they're very close. they fight sometimes, but 90% of the time they're really buddies. and the most amazing thing is what a help alleria still is. i can count on her to keep him out of trouble and call me if he does get into something dangerous. they sleep in the same room and even though i've never suggested or even encouraged this, she will get out of her bed and into his to comfort him if he wakes in the night. i think it's made a huge impact on her to have a little one who worships and depends on her, and it's been great for him to have someone who's there when mom's in the other room. if i have another one i will try to do it about the same distance apart. maybe just a little more b/c trist is a handful, but not longer than 4 years.

Avatar for jennyberm
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 5:56pm
I'll answer before I read the other replies so they don't influence my opinions at all - forgive me if I just repeat what everyone else said...

My two are 23 months apart. They play together all the time. They worship each other. It is sooooooo great. I really, really love that they are so close and I don't think they would be if they were farther apart, BUT somebody always needs something. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, somebody needs something from mommy. If it's not the baby, it's the toddler, if it's not them it's dh wanting sex - no thank you. ;) So that's the downside - I am seriously drained and just really want a weekend by myself on a beach with a big pina colada and a book and NO PEOPLE!

I'm actually planning on waiting until my dd is 2 before we start ttc again because I think it would be nicer to have her a little more independent before we bring another baby into the house. I could not handle three babies. Two preschoolers and a baby sounds more doable. Of course, that means that I really need to get my butt down to the pharmacy and refill my bcps since I run out this week.

Jenny

Proud Mommy to Cameron (8/4/01) and

Cassia (7/15/03)





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