tips keeping child costs down?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
tips keeping child costs down?
8
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 6:17pm
hi, how did you solve the money & baby issue??

for a lot of people- we want to see our standard of living go up over time-- not down once we have a baby. i want to be SAHM but not be deprived? do you honestly find yourself w/o things you enjoyed before baby?

i'm TTC & wondering what it'll be like to be in love w/ my baby but also to have less to live on. did you mind at all?? you can be honest w/ me b/c i can see it being an issue.

any tips to keep costs down?? (public schools are really quite bad where we live - many of the children don't speak english well & it's gun metal detectors & all- i know b/c i volunteer in the public school system for aftercare w/ members of my church).

1. i will lose out on my income by becoming SAHM

2. my child will need some sort of private school - beginning at preschool even (unfortunately we live around a lot of inner city so it's a real problem).

thanks! Kat

 Katrina
Avatar for jennyberm
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 7:09pm
Well, our standard of living does keep going up. We had to make a few cuts when I lost my part time telecommuting job, but there would invariably be career changes in any lifestyle, kids or not, right? Other than that, dh's career is still on the move and he keeps getting raises and promotions regardless of our kids.


I guess the main thing is to figure out what is important to you and what you really need. We have friends who spend a fortune on toys for their son. Seriously, everytime we go over there is a whole new set of toys in the living room. I rarely see the same stuff out twice. I don't know how (or why) they do it. Our house is overflowing with toys and we've bought almost none of them. That's what grandparents are for, IMO. But even if they didn't buy them toys, both of my kids have gotten more enjoyment out of playing with things that aren't really toys: tupperware, squirt bottles, my clothes and shoes, toilet paper (lol), anything really. You don't need to spend money on "stuff."


Private school is another matter. That can get expensive. And even if you send them to public school it seems like everyone is requiring you to fork out a bunch of money for supplies and uniforms and whatnot. I'm planning on homeschooling my kids to avoid that and other potential problems. What else could you do.... move? You could consider giving up something you spend a lot of money on now, like soda or something, and save up all that money in a school fund. I'm not sure on that one.


Basically, I'd say don't stress about it and just live your life and try not to obsess about "stuff." If needed, make adjustments to your budget as they come up. What more can you do? HTH

Jenny

Proud Mommy to Cameron (8/4/01) and

Cassia (7/15/03)





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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 8:54pm
Thanks! I'm really into the homeschooling idea.

It seems the best idea.

Private school where I live is now $17K for KINDERGARTEN!

(I grew up here & my family is here & my health requires hot weather -- so. Cal.)

PLUS - I went to private school here when I was growing up in this town & it stunk.

The kids were so spoiled & we were not & I don't want to repeat that w/ my kids.

I also don't like the drugs & silly bratty attitudes that are just as prevalent in private school as public. Plus, I have a terrific education & could be a great home schooler.

I think that's a great idea. I agree about toys & stuff like that.

The only problem is our neighborhood is a little snobby but luckily there are a lot of normal people on our stret also - people who don't act flashy w/ their money.

I just don't want our kid to be like the poorer one in our uppity town. I could see moving to a more middle class neighborhood even though we can afford it here but just b/c I don't like the pretentiousness where we live by the beach.

The other problem is DH's salary isn't going to go up really- we're already at a peak level b/c he's been in his career for over 17 yrs. so.. what i've gotten used to when it was just us spending will change.

BUT we don't spend it now. we just save it.

So.. really our lives wouldn't change. Just the possibilities of what we COULD do may not be looming (like now we think we 'could' spend $7K & go on safari in Kenya if we wanted -- but we think that's not how we would want to spend $7K any way.)

Ultimately, now- our $ just keeps going into renovating our house which doesn't matter to either of us.

I hope I can do this w/ a secure feeling that home schooling or the church school would be the right thing.





 Katrina
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 9:44pm
I think it's a hard question to answer...does it seem like we never have money? Yup. Did it seem like we never had money before kids? Yup. In our case, I've spent 7 of the 10 years we've been married in graduate school and DH has spent 4 of the 10 doing graduate school/dissertation so things will get better.

I think your lifestyle changes so dramatically after kids and the money just shifts with it. I don't even remember making a ton of conscious decisions and I haven't minded it-that's just how it's worked out. For example, prior to kids we went to Europe now we go camping. We used to go out for dinner/movie once a week and now its more like once a month and the money probably goes to things like swim lessons.

Taleyna

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Registered: 05-08-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 10:06pm

This is of course a very personal decision, but I think it really comes down to how you define success.


Personally I could care less about "stuff".

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 11:14pm
We have a similar situation in living in an area with schools that are not so great- we do have great magnet schools which we are exploring. In terms of saving money- I have exchanged children's clothes with a friend. We meet together and swap what we don't need- it has worked well in getting clothes for free and finding a way to put my children's old clothes to good use.

Karen

Helping families stay home together!

http://reachyourdreamstoday.com

Avatar for jennyberm
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 12:53pm
Ohh yes, that's a huge money saver that I forgot about! My bf had a boy about a year and a half before I did so she sent me all of his old clothes. Huge lifesaver! Now, she's pregnant with another boy and I'm getting ready to pack up all the boy clothes (the ones she sent me plus all the ones I'd gotten as gifts) and send them back to her. You could easily go broke buying cute kid clothes.

Jenny

Proud Mommy to Cameron (8/4/01) and

Cassia (7/15/03)





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Registered: 06-04-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 5:48pm
Regarding the schooling issue- have you considered homeschooling? It's inexpensive (compared to private school) and it solves the less than ideal school system problem.

As for keeping costs down-

* Breastfeed! (Formula costs somewhere around $120+/month- breastfeeding is free.

* Use cloth diapers. (I can give you specifics on that if you're interested.)

* Buy clothing/shoes/etc. at resale shops. (DS is one of the best dressed kids I know and virtually *none* of his clothing has been purchased new- and it doesn't cost me an arm and a leg to keep him in clothes.)

* Learn to plan your menus and eat at home (if you don't already)

As for losing things I enjoyed- I find that the things that I *really* want- I can still have, but other things I just don't have time for anyway so I don't miss them at all. ;) I guess it just depends on what kinds of things you like to do, how important they are to you and how much they cost... For me it hasn't been an issue. But then- we planned on my being a SAHM from the beginning when we first got married and managed our finances accordingly... We pared down debt *long* before the kids arrived, bought much less house than we could have afforded, put away money into the savings, etc. etc. etc. (Of course, it also took us over 5 yrs to conceive DS so we had the time to spare LOL!)



Wytchy

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Registered: 06-22-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 10:34pm
thanks you all! you make me feel great b/c we all see the same things.

:)

i could easily pick my career up after maternity leave but i know i won't want to.

i don't think it's 'worth' it (not for me).

i'd much rather be w/ my child than back in a firm.

i'm really going to look into keeping our renovations costs down on the house.

there were a few things i would have rather not done to the house to save more $.

i'm going to explain to dh about doing extra saving for the future baby.

Jordan