Tired of people telling me I'm crazy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
Tired of people telling me I'm crazy
10
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 12:26am
My name is Kim and I am a 28 yr. old SAHM of three awesome kids. My daughters are 4 and 14 months and my son is 2. My husband and I really want to complete our family with a fourth baby. It seems everywhere I go, I run into people who tell me that I am crazy for wanting another child. It's always something about how expensive they are or how much work they are or how will I have the room for all of them--not that I need anybody's approval, but I am just annoyed by all of the opinions. Even my parents are giving me a hard time about it. They only had two children, so even though they love my kids more than anything, I think they can't get past that. I absolutely love being a SAHM and would not change a thing about my life or the life we are giving our children. I just wish more people could see the bigger picture like we do- things might not ALWAYS be peachy, but the good times way outweigh the bad times and these angels bring us nothing but love. Anybody else have a similar situation?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 7:11am
Okay first things first I soooo know your pain. Secondly, tell everyone else its your life and to Butt out! I understand wanting more kids! More than anything in the world do I regret having my tubes tied...so badly that I went back to school to get my RN license for labor and delivery. I was hell bent and determined that if I can't have one I can at least participate in others. Some women were just made to have babies. It defines who they are as well as what they love to fill their lives with. If your nerves can handle 4 ( and God bless you if they can) then by all means make your home what you want of it, not what others define you can and cannot do. Even if that means telling your parents, "Hey I am grown and responsible for my own life, and what might have been right for you just doesn't suit my family. So please support us or just leave the comments out." I don't think your insane, I think your natural!

Angelia




iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 2:35pm

I am a little envious :) My Dh and I would love a large family, we will probably have to complete our family through adoption though.


What you need are some good comebacks! lol Here are some I found.


You have your hands full!

  • Yes, happily so!
  • Yes, and my heart too.
  • Don't say anything, just look puzzled at your hands. (This does obviously not work if you are carrying a baby :-)
  • Yes, but I would rather have my hands full than empty!


Are they all yours?


  • No, I just went to Rent-a-Brat.
  • No, this is not all of them, my oldest is at home with the triplets.
  • No, actually two are the mailman's and I am not sure whose is that one.....
  • No, a couple of them starting following us a few minutes ago. -- This is especially funny when you look at your kids and realize that one of them really ISN'T yours -- he had just started following you and you didn't notice before...
  • No, I picked up a couple extra in the produce aisle.
  • Gee, I never heard that question before!
  • Of course they're all mine. Do you think I take six (or fill in your number) kids shopping for fun?
  • Yes, they are all ours. We have been married for 22 years, but only have 11 kids to show for it.
  • No..........I have two more at home! (When it fits)

  • Yes, and they're such good kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (the kids love that one!)
  • Of course they are..wait..who is that one?Hes not ours.....oh,yeah,#5,I forgot I had him.
  • I don't know. How many do you count?
  • Yes. But if you have any you don't want, I'll gladly take them, too
  • i'm pregnant. I gave this response. Yes, and this one (pointed to my belly) is too.
  • No. I've been an avid collector for years and just picked these up in the food court!
  • Yes, at least that's what I tell my husband.


Are you going to have more?

  • Yes, we just enjoy sex soooooo much!
  • Why do you want to know?
  • Well, not today.
  • We are trying to get into the Genisus Book of World Records of (add whatever here) most kids, largest family living in one house, etc.
  • OH YES! I want to have a family bigger then the one in my favorite movie "Yours, Mine & Ours!" only (add a # here) to beat the 19 they had!!
  • Yes, I always want just one more.
  • Well, we do have a twelve passenger van.
  • Check back in nine months and you'll see for yourself.

Don't you know what causes that?

  • No, please tell me!
  • Of course, don't you?
  • Yes, we do know what causes that and we like it very much, thank you.
  • Oh yes, we finally figured it out and we now keep the tooth brushes in seperate glasses!
  • Oh yes, I now wash my husband's underwear seperately.
  • Oh yes, having a great sex life!
  • Water or sex but I don't want to give up either.
  • Smile brightly and say with enthusiasm "Yes and we like it!"
  • You bet I do......love, love, love ( & sex, sex, sex.....hehehe.......)
  • Yes! So don't get too close to me!
  • It's in the water. Would you like a glass?
  • Yes and I know WHO causes it! God gave us these children!
  • Yes I do........cold winter nights.........
  • LOVE! An overabundance of love!!
  • Yes,and as you only have two kids obviously you dont do it much.
  • Yes, and it is something I am very good at...
  • Of course, and the Lord has greatly blessed us!
  • A strong husband/wife relationship, big hearts, and the Lord's blessing.

Are you going to get fixed?

  • Nope, I am not broken!
  • Why do you want to know?
  • Huh, we thought everything was working fine for us!?!
  • We didn't know anything was broken.
  • Don't you only fix things that aren't working properly?
  • Well as you can see be the size of OUR family everything is in working order. :)(You have to say this last one with the kinda "I'm not to bright so your question seems kinda foolish don't you think?" attitude.

I can't believe how you do it, I cannot even handle my two!

  • Yes, if I had kids like you, I wouldn't have any more either!
  • Yes, you don't strike me as the type who could handle more kids than that.
  • I do it like most people, in bed and after the kids are sleeping.
  • I put knobs on the kids. Makes them easier to handle.
  • Everyone has 24 hours in a day, it is just how you use it...nt
  • With lots of patience, patience, patience
  • go and look at them while they're sleeping. This reminds me of what sweet children of God they are and keeps me going!
  • Oh, I just do it. Wake up in the morning, do what you have to do all day, go to bed when it's done. nt
  • Pick your battles carefully. It helps to have selective sight and hearing!
  • Don't sweat the small stuff.
  • (this is a good one for chat rooms) Oh, straight jackets and handcuffs!

Are you planning to have any more?

  • I've been wondering about this and maybe you can explain it to me: I always thought you had to plan NOT to have more.
  • Before we were married we planned on having 2, but I didn't know that my husband couldn't count!
  • We didn't plan the first six, I don't think we'll plan the next six, either.

I hope you aren't planning to have anymore?!?

  • You mean, I just figured out what I'm really, really good at, and you're telling me to stop doing it?
  • Talk to God about it... it's up to Him.
  • Well, we do have room in our van for 2 more.
  • OK, I won't plan my next one. Surprises can be fun!
  • Yup we are going to keep going till we get an ugly one.

Haven't you heard of birth control?

  • Yes, and I thank God it doesn't always work!
  • Yes, I've heard of it, I hope you are using it!
  • (for dad) Yes, but I just can't find a rubber that will fit me!
  • Yes, that's great stuff for people with ugly kids!
  • Oh yes, we do know what birth control is; it's for people who don't want children.

Don't you have a television?

  • Yes, but we only get X-rated channels
  • Yes! Did you know there are 28 porn channels in this area?
  • No, we have much better things to do at night!
  • Yes 4 of them. Why?

How can you afford having so many?

  • Lifestyles are expensive not kids.
  • We're not on welfare, in huge amounts of debt, and no, my husband is not a doctor or lawyer. We just budget well.
  • I figure you spend what you make, you may as well spend it on more.
  • " You don't know my financial backer!" (Our God, of course)
  • I'm still not sure how we do it...but it works!

I am glad it is you and not me!

  • Yes, me too!
  • My kids are glad it's me and not you too! ;-)
  • Oh me too! I love being a mother! and smile real BIG!

Do you get any time for yourselves?

  • Obviously we get a little time to ourselves, or we wouldn't have six kids.

Did you give birth to all of them?

  • Yes, I gave birth to them all. Do you really believe the stork dropped them off?
  • Yes, in my heart...... (for adoptive parents)

When people just keep staring at your family....

  • No, we're not Catholic. No, we're not Mormon.
  • Yes, they all are mine!
  • No, we don't try to overpopulate the earth, just to outnumber the idiots!

Haven't You Had That Baby YET?!!?

  • "YES. This is the NEXT ONE!!!!!!!!" See if that don't make their jaws drop!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2003
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 5:13am
Hi Kim,

I am a SAHMommy of 4 with another on the way. My DH is a teacher so you can imagine how creative we have to be to get by on his salary. I have absolutely no regrets getting pregnant again. Our kids are provided for, we have a nice house, nice cars, we pay our bills, we have a ton of love for them and frankly, we don't care what anyone says or thinks. When DH and I got engaged, his family found out I had 3 children from my previous marriage. I remember the funny looks and comments about having a ready made family, but it got real interesting when they found out we were planning on having more. LOL.

The way I deal with it, I just don't pay them any mind. It is our life and that's that.

Hugs,

Priscilla

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 10:16pm
THANK YOU GIRLS!

Sometimes it just takes a little bit of love and support from those who REALLY understand and it is nice to know I'm not alone. Talk to you all soon.


Hugs,

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 10:14am
Yup! I know how you feel. We just had #4 and I got soooo many comments. Don't tell people youre thinking about it, just do it if its what you both want. They wont be so quick to comment once the deed is done. You'll still get comments but once in a while you'll get the ocasional "good for you!" or "thats great ,children are such blessings!" If I had listened to everyone else I wouldn't have my beautiful baby on my lap right now. If you can do it, Id say go for it. Its not always easy but nothing worthwhile in life ever is.
   

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 10:17am
My favourite comeback (although I havent used it yet) to "are you crazy?"
   

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2003
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 3:02pm


Hey, more power to ya! I could only pray to be as strong a women as you are! Everyone is different in this world ~ I, myself, could barely manage one child! I really have to respect mom's out there who can not only have more than one child but do it well! You can only follow your heart's decision since you'll be the one raising your children. Try not to spend too much time or effort working on making your family/friends see your point of view ~ it's just not worth it!

Angie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
Thu, 10-28-2004 - 11:16pm
You are right. I guess sometimes it just helps to have support-as you know, it is not an easy job! I know that once the deed is done, they (family and friends) will be so happy and we will be even happier. Thank you for all of your great advice!

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 3:49pm
How wonderful that you want to have a family of four (or five or six...)! YOU know what is good for you. I applaud you :-)

--Christina
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 8:34pm
Hi,

I'm not in your situation but I have 2 kids and I'm 24...I guess I just wanted to encourage you to do what is best for you and your family and try not to worry about what other people think. They are your children, your passion, your responsibility, no one else's. So if you want them, have them. You won't regret it. My children are the loves of my life and I'm looking forward to having at least 2 more.

hth,

jen

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