Watching another baby - need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Watching another baby - need advice
8
Wed, 06-23-2004 - 11:35pm
Hi! I'm new here looking for some help. I have a son who was born December 8, 2003 and his name is Devin! Anyway I wasn't sure what forum to post this in but am looking for as much help as I can get so thought I'd post it here.

My husband has a co-worker who is looking for someone to watch their son for 4-5 hours a day in the afternoon 5 days a week. I kind of said I'd think about it but haven't really brought it up again. She's going back to work in a few weeks so I've been thinking about it a lot recently. Their son is 9 weeks old and will be about 3 months old by the time I started watching him, where my son will be 7 months. I'm curious, have any of you watched another kid or 2 kids around this same age? How was it and would you recommend I do it? I worry it will be hard. I could just not say anything and I'm sure they will find someone else, they may have already. I was kind of waiting to see if they'd ask me about it again but they haven't. I usually just sit here at home and play on the computer so was thinking it might be a good idea but I'm not sure. I would like to have a playmate for my son when he is older but I worry it will be a lot of work. Plus what if we're sick or her son is sick or we want to go out of town? How much do you think they'd pay & how do I ask about this? Any advice you could give would help me out a ton! I could volunteer for a few days or say I'd like to watch him one time to test it out or I could just drop it and not say anything. Also, would you watch the other baby if you were in my shoes?

Thanks for your help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Thu, 06-24-2004 - 12:08am

I do home childcare and have some advice( just my opinion).


First Off I would do alot of soul searching, Do I like other peoples children? There are alot of people who really adore their children, but not someone else's.


That is the big question really...you would be doing the baby no favor watching him just to watch him...so to speak.


Second is ...Do I want to commit that much time to someone else's baby? Remember when your own baby was that age, it can be very time consuming. Babies usually will have a hard time adjusting to a new setting, you do not smell or sound like mommy.


Do you want to be responsible if anything should happen to baby. Most parents of baby's this age are going to be very paticular(as well they should) and very picky with their baby's care.


You will aslo be somewhat tied to your house, since baby's need schedule's in my opinion. Do you have plans to join any moms groups?


Now the Good part.


I LOVE having children in my home! I care for my 1 yr old nephew and 8 year old nephew during the summer, and teach preschool out of my home during school year. The kids are amazing and wonderful to be around. I run my home like a preschool and we do music time, singing, outside time and sometimes trips. Childcare can be sooooo rewarding! I have alot of patience and do not get stressed with everyday kid stuff. My home is very noisy but I love it, it means they are having fun.


There is also not a big start up cost for childcare, but I would caution you to be very selective...not of the children but of the parents! They need to really understand and follow any rules you set. A contract is a must!


Hope this is helpful! Good Luck!

Are you a M.O.M-Mom of Many? Find other M.O.M's

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Thu, 06-24-2004 - 12:17am
Thank you very much for your help and reply! I will take what you have said into consideration. You have brought up a lot of things to think about. It's so wonderful you enjoy watching the children so much! I am considering asking them if I could try it out for even a day to see how it went & then make my decision.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 06-24-2004 - 2:37pm
I think the age difference isn't huge. The good thing would be that you would be getting the baby young, and they are pretty easy then and both boys would be able to grow up with each other. Babies start getting hard (imho!) around the time they can escape - LOL! Around 10m when they are running around, then around 13m when they can *really* run. But if you have them in a gated area, tons of toys and each other to hit (yes, that will be their form of communication with each other for about a year)....then you'll be fine. Also each day to ensure long naps they'll need outside stimulation - walks to the park, playing in buckets of water, trips to the grocery store. If you don't have enough of this in a day you'll end up with 2 whiney babies.

I would do it in a heart beat! But that's just me and I'm a BTDT. Also if your son or their db is sick, it's okay...they'll pass the illness back and forth, but in the end they will have a built up immunity to illness later in childhood.

HTH

Jennifer, Jessica 2/23/01, Alexandra 7/8/03

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2004
Thu, 06-24-2004 - 6:04pm
It is good that you are putting so much thought into whether or not you want to undertake this responsibility. Taking someone's child into your home is a big responsibility and not to be taken lightly. I have been doing day care in my home for about 8 years now and I tell you it can be trying but also very rewarding. If you do decide to do this, you need to make sure that you are very up front with the parents about what the rules are. My parents know where I stand on everything from nap time to what is required at lunch time. Be very specific when you tell these parents what you will expect from them. Because I have four children of my own, my parents know that their needs come first - if I give them at least 2 weeks notice I get a day off for school events, etc. Also, as far the kids being sick, I always tell my parents 24 hours after the end of a fever or any vomiting before the child is allowed back - just like most schools will not allow sick kids for that length of time.

Best of luck in your decision and know that you need to make the right choice for you and your family - and I am sure that you will.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Fri, 06-25-2004 - 12:55pm
Thanks to everyone for the help!

-Christy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 06-25-2004 - 4:43pm
Hi, I have been a SAHM for over 18yrs now, my oldest is 18 and my youngest is 1yr. I also have a 14yr old in there. I had a similar thing happen to me when my oldest son was 2yrs. I had a friend that begged me to watch her little girl who was the same age. I was one of those moms that took my son everywhere. We did something every day.The park, the library, the mall. When I started watching the little girl it really put a damper on our lifestyle. It was alot harder with 2 kids and this little girl was not as easy going as my son. My son got really jealous of her too. We ended up staying home alot and my son got angry. I got pregnant again that year about 4 months into keeping the little girl and had MS badly so I quit. My son went back to his normal self after she left.

I guess what I am saying here is if you like to go out and do alot I wouldnt recommend keeping the other child. I thought it would be nice for my son to have a playmate but he didnt like it at all. Consider it all before you jump in there and say "yes".

~Mollie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2004
Sun, 06-27-2004 - 2:45am
I am now going through what Mollie went through many years ago. My daughter is almost 2 years old and a good friend asked me if I could watch her son (who was 9 months old at the time and is 11 months old now) because her maternity leave was ending. I thought my daughter would love to have a friend over here to play with, and I would only be getting this little guy for 3 hours each weekday morning at $10 a day. I thought the extra $100 every 2 weeks would be nice, and 3 hours is not a big deal. Well... I have been watching this little guy for 2 months now and my dd still hates it when he comes over. She gets mad when he plays with her toys or when I give him attention. She is always saying to him "Go home!" and she will push him over a lot. I find I have to hold him a lot to keep the two separated and he has now become very clingy to me. When my daughter wants to be held this little guy gets upset because he wants me to be holding him and so I have 2 kids crying to be picked up. I also hate having to get mad at my dd when she is mean to him, but she is only like that because she does not want him here. She plays great with other kids when it is only occasionally or when it is at playgroup or at the park. Something else that has been getting to me is that our agreement was that he would be here for 3 hours a day, from 8 AM to 11 AM. It worked well for the first few weeks and then gradually they started coming later and later. A few days ago (Friday) they didn't come to get him until 12:45! My husband comes home for lunch at 12:00 and I always cook him dinner so he had to watch the boy for a half hour and he was not happy! I suspect the boys parents went out for lunch that day but I do not know because they did not say anything about being almost 2 hours late picking him up and I did not ask. Then (GET THIS!) they called me back at 1:30 to see if I could watch him for a few hours in the afternoon. I said I couldn't because I had to run to the post office and grocery store (no car seat for him) and when we come home my dd goes down for a nap and that is my ME time. I work every evening for 6 hours, so I didn't want to give up my whole day to babysit (for $10) and then go to work all evening. Anyway, to end my novel, I guess what I am saying is that you should really think it over before making a decision. Will you be okay with sometimes putting your own baby's needs aside to be there for the other baby when he/she needs attention? Do you realize that 2 babies or toddlers is WAY more work than one? Is this something you really want to do? You have to have a lot of patience and a real love for kids to look after other people's children. I don't mind looking after this little guy (I think of him like a nephew because his mom is a friend of mine) but if I was to do it over I would have made up a contract and charged by the hour. And I would charge them double for each hour they were late in picking him up. Oh - and I don't think I would ever agree to look after another baby or toddler again, just older kids. I just got through the "watch her every minute" phase with my dd and now I have to go through it all over again. Hope this helps.

~J

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2004
Sun, 06-27-2004 - 11:44pm
IMHO, watching 2 infants might be hard, but there are definite perks. You may make new friends out of this (not saying you need more friends but it might happen.) You can earn extra money and also have another thing to put on your resume if you choose/have to go back to work in the future. If I was you I'd say something like "I'm wondering if you still need childcare? I *might* be willing to do it, but we need to get together and talk first." At that time I would discuss payment, who provides supplies, sick days, etc. Then if you are willing to be the care provider, write or type up a list of what you agreed on. Give them a copy and keep one for yourself. Tell them its just so no one gets confused or forgets anything. They must trust you alot, being thier baby is so little. I'd at least give it a try and see how it goes. Let us know what happens. Welcome to the board, hope to see more of you here.