Weird Feelings
Find a Conversation
Weird Feelings
| Mon, 02-19-2007 - 4:10pm |
Ok, so I think that maybe its my pregnancy hormones throwing my emotions out of whack or something, but today my husband left for a week on a business trip. He left this morning, and I'm home w/ my 2yr old. Today we went out, ran some errands, & when I came home it was early, about 11am. Its very cold outside, about 7 degrees, so I have no intentions of lugging my toddler out again, but now I'm feeling a little lost & lonely. I'm almost jealous that my DH gets to go away on a trip for work, all expenses paid and pretty much enjoy a nice hotel and meals, and I feel like I'm stuck here. It usually doesn't bother me when he goes on his trips, but he hasn't gone away since I've been pregnant til' now. I think its my emotions going up & down, but I feel like I'm left here to fend the homefront while he gets to go on his trip. It seems silly, he needs to go on these trips for his job and he makes extra $ for us, but I just feel sad & lonely about it. I don't want to sound like I'm being selfish, but I just feel like what I do as a SAHM mom isn't rewarding at times. Has anyone ever felt invalidated for being a SAHM, like sometimes they're missing out on things in the "world"? Please tell me it's just my emotions talking and it'll pass, that's what I think it is, I'm 28wks preg., and I know how crazy your thoughts/feeling can get towards the end of your pregnancy!


My Dh is a pilot and he used to travel alot for his job (he's layed off right now).
It's a "the grass is always greener" kind of thing. If you were working you would feel jealous of SAHMs because they don't have to deal with the work stress. I have done both since my son was born sixteen months ago and I can understand the jealousy on both ends. When I went back to work I missed being home with my son terribly. There was a lot of stress I was under to get my son and I ready in the mornings, take him to daycare, go to work, plus take care of the regular mom/wife duties such as grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc. It was a big relief when I quit working again to stay home because that morning stress and after work stress was gone.
If you are missing out on having a life of your own, why not get involved in things that will help validate you as an individual? There wouldn't be anything wrong with finding a sitter for a few hours once or twice a week to get involved in something you like or enjoy. Consider taking an art class, a cooking class, creative writing classes, etc. or get involved in some kind of charity/volunteering in your area. I know that you have just entered your third trimester (I'm almost 32 weeks pregnant) and I understand that you are probably starting to feel more tired and weak and will probably not want to exert yourself any more than you have to, but taking some time to go to lunch with friends, get a prenatal massage (so worth it!) or even do some shopping alone will help ease that stress that you are feeling and make you feel like a woman again instead of just a mom.
Tarra
Noah - 16 months old
EDD baby girl 4/21/07
I have felt like you feel soooo many times! And not just when I was pregnant! I *hate* it when my DH travels for work, and yet I understand that he has to. I always feel like: Here I am at home, brushing hair and teeth, singing kiddie songs, cleaning up after them, etc. while he gets to hang out in some luxurious hotel somewhere and attend interesting, mind-stimulating conferences (even though I wouldn't understand any of them, LOL!). Not to mention just missing him so much. And I get so tired out with the kids when I'm all alone for days (or even one day, LOL! I have FOUR kids!!), and miss his help so much, too, because he helps me a lot. He's going to a medical conference in March, and I'm already dreading it. And where is he going? Caesar's Palace, Las Vegas!! Now how fun is THAT?? Meanwhile, I'll be here at home in the cold and slush freezing my butt at the school bus stop, my only outing for the day, LOL!
My husband has a very high-powered and prestigious career, and gets a lot of professional validation for it, because he is excellent at what he does. I am so proud of him, and so grateful for the income he brings in which allows me to stay home with my babies, but there have been many moments when I've thought he has it made, using his mind and his skills and talents all day and making a difference in other peoples' lives. But I also know how stressful his job is, and I see the toll it takes on him emotionally, and then I think I have it made, and he has the harder job.
And in some ways, I think I have the more important job, too. While he touches the lives of many, and makes people better and helps them heal up from accidents, and all that is so important and worthy and noble, I am a mother. I'm home with my four beautiful children. I am shaping their lives, and building their foundation. He is, too, as their dad, but I am the one who is privileged to be with them all the time. And it *is* such a privilege!! :)
Hugs to you!