What caused you to want to come home?
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What caused you to want to come home?
| Wed, 07-07-2004 - 12:08pm |
Hello, everyone,
I am only almost 2 months pregnant, and I'm just wondering about what caused many of you to come home and raise your children. I've been blessed with a really good job. I make a nice salary. Life would be totally different for me if I decided to stay at home and raise my baby and just live off my husband's salary. How rewarding is staying home and raising your child as opposed to sending your baby to day care? Do you enjoy it? Do you regret giving up your careers? Any ideas??
Thanks for your feedback!
Lady J

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Think long and hard about your decision. Some women are better mommies because they work. I think a woman should stay at home if she can, but I understand it is not for everyone.
Good luck with your decision and we are here if you have any more questions!
Cari
Cari
Mom to 5 yr old girl and 2 yr old twinadoes!
I never in a million years thought I'd be a sahm. I planned on returning to work when my baby was 4 months old. My dh & in-laws kept dropping hints that they thought I should quit working which made me want to stick to my guns even more, if you know what I mean! lol
I know this will sound corney but I don't care...when they gave me my baby after he was born I fell so in love that I couldn't even think about another person taking care of him...EVER! I had a friend that was going to watch him when I returned to work but I could never bring my self to return...my job was SO nice about it, after all they kept me on my medical the whole 6 months (4 months stretched to 6 then 6 stretched to forever!).
It has been almost 7 years now and I am so happy that I am able to be with my children everyday. Sure they stress me out but they are sweet, happy boys and I think having their mommy with them knowing I am ALWAYS available to them has made them secure as well.
Good luck making your decision and congratulations on your baby!
Sam a mom to 3 beautiful boys!
Welcome to the board.
You brought up alot of good questions, that are very valid in every woman's life when deciding to stay home.
First of all, I know how hard it is to think of giving up your career, I loved my job, and I had a great one!!!
I was apprehensive at first when I suggested that I stay home. I knew that DH's mom was a SAHM, and so was mine, until I started gr.5. He (dh) who at the time was struggling with work (he is in the airline industry, and after 9/11, almost lost his job b/c the shut downs, then, SARS, DID LOSE HIS JOB... it was in iffy time to say the least. (I was 8 months pregnant then, and his mom had just died)
Anyways, I'm totaly off track here, but, the decision was easy. We knew he would work, which he did, and is... and as far as your other main question... Is it worth it... OMG!!!!There are good days, and bad days. I have to say that now that I have been home for 1.5years, the good far outways the bad!!!!
I am calling my dh every few days, screaming in the phone saying "she just did this, or she just did that!!!"
His response is anger/saddness that he can't be there to witness the firsts & the seconds.
The choice is yours, you have to do what's right with you & dh. You are pretty early in preg. right? See how it goes. Best of luck to you!
Lesley
He is in the Merchant marines and at the time, he was going out 3-4 months at a time and only home 1 month.
We decided that our son needed at least one of us there for support and love, that way he did not think we were both leaving him.
I am so glad for the descion we made, I am so happy to be home with him and ou 7 month old. I never miss a milestone, a question, a boo boo.
Its the best choice I have ever made.
The decision for me was really easy with no doubts. I didn't strive for a successful career with lots of money because I always knew that I wanted to be a SAHM. And we also never racked up any charge cards so we don't have any of the debts like most people have.
I am the youngest of three girls..my sisters are 7 and 9 years older than me and we are better off then both of them and they both have full-time careers making good money. I am not trying to gloat I am just trying to make a point.
They both rent their houses, we bought ours. They both have purchased used vehicles that always need worked on and lets just say we have more than one vehicle and they are new.
My sisters think since we don't make as much money as them, especially now that I am a SAHM that my In-laws help us, but that couldn't be any further from the truth. The only thing that they sometimes help with is my MIL likes to take my kids shopping for clothes. Which is a big help, but we could also afford their clothes with no problem.
So my point is this...sometimes it's not how much money you make it's really just how you handle it. We go to movies and out to eat occassionaly, but it was more important for us to have a nice home to call our own and vehicles we don't have to have worked on all the time and we know are safe for our kids. Our kids are 5 and almost 4 and this is the first year that we are taking a Vacation. Now that is not to say that we didn't take them to an Amusement park or to the Zoo or fun stuff like that. We just weren't able to afford plain tickets and a hotel to stay anywhere. They didn't care where we went or what we did as long as it was something different and we were all together.
I just became a full-time SAHM this past May, but I never really worked that much so it already seemed like I was a SAHM. And according to most of our family they also already considered me a SAHM. The only reason that I couldn't quit completely until more recently was because my DH only gets paid once a month and until we got used to that my paychecks that were coming in once a week even though small were helping us make it until his next paycheck. Now that we have gotten used to it we pay some of our bills a month in advance that way they aren't late and also he is now making more money.
I felt kind of bad becoming a SAHM full-time because I knew it would put extra pressure on him, but last month he received a bonus check and it was more than what I would make the entire year so now I don't feel bad at all..LOL
When my DH worked I was home with the kids and when I worked he was home with the kids because I never, ever wanted to pay someone else to raise MY kids.
I have been there for all of their firsts, seconds and thirds. I am there through all of the smiles and tears, questions and fears. I have really had to be there for my son because he has Hypotonia (low-muscle tone) and developmental delays and I was told by several Doctors that they think that all of the love and support that I have been giving him has helped him do as well as he is doing. That is one of the greatest compliments a mother can receive
When I was working I was working mainly evenings so I was missing putting them to bed, but then I was also working on the weekends so I was missing out on "family time." Boy are we all a lot happier now that I am off every weekend. Even my DH is glad that I was finally able to quit.
Since I wasn't making much money it hasn't been a huge adjustment for us, but I know for some it would be. Also, some moms aren't cut out to be a SAHM. I know that everyone here will agree...you have to have patience, patience and more patience!!
I think we all know deep down what we want...just listen to your heart and make it happen.
Beth
I am afraid that I will be echoing a lot of the same things...but I think that will help you see what is the best part of staying home.
My son is only 2 months old and I have now been home for 4 months. I love it and my husband really loves it. When I was only 2 months pregnant I thought I would come back to work part time...and then the farther along I got the more depressed I became about leaving him at a daycare. One day I was at work and someone was asking me about it and I thought about leaving him and I started crying. The thought still makes me sob. I can't even leave him upstairs when I am downstairs now.
The good things are wonderful and the bad things pass quickly. It was very difficult for us to adjust to one income because my husband doesn't make that much, but we sacrificed a lot of things. I do a lot of shopping at yard sales and second hand stores and we don't eat out but maybe once every two weeks. We also have two cars that are older, but paid off and we own an old house that is needing some cosmetic work, but that can wait.
I think that the thing that really helps is that my husband truly wants me to stay home. After I first quit I asked him if I needed to look for something part-time and he was not receptive to that at all. My mom and MIL are also very supportive. I think that that helps a lot because on the hard days there are people to remind you that it so worth it. Not to mention all of the growing up that you would miss. My mother did in home daycare when I was little and she got to see kids say their first word and take their first step. I don't want that to happen.
I will say that it is not for everyone, but if you think that you could do it...it is worth it.
Best of luck to you with your pregnancy and before you know it you will have your little one home with you.
Take Care,
Gen
During my pregnancy, at my first visit to a daycare center, I cried hysterically. I could not stop crying. It was then that I realized it would be the hardest thing I ever did to leave her there and go to work.
Right around then, my husband was offered a job in another state where the cost of living and his salary would afford us to have me quit and stay home. Even though we would be far from family and friends, we decided to do it.
Now Amanda is 16 mos old and we are expeting are 2nd in February. I may start doing some part time programming work from home soon mostly to keep my skills up.
GL with your decision. It's not always an easy one.
Colleen, dd-Amanda 3-15-2003, #2 edd 2-16-2005
I know that I will go back to work again but I'm taking classes on line right now to learn a new field so that I can work at home. I don't like the thought of my dd and me being that far apart for many hours like in an after school day care. It will be 5 years for me sahm. I have to say if I had to do it over again I wouldn't change a thing.
I was a career oriented person.
I've stayed home with DS for just over a year now (he'll be 2 in a few weeks). There are days that can be rough, but those are outweighted by the good ones. When I was working and DS was at the babysitter, I did miss a few "firsts". That was it for me. It was very much of an ajustment (and still is sometimes) to be an one income because DH doesn't earn a huge amount of money. We have a house payment, 2 car payments, bills, etc. but we're learning how to budget.
I'd like to earn sometype of income but I want to SAH so I'm really considering in-home daycare (for a few kids). I live in Illinois and I can watch 3 kids (including DS) or one family without a license but I'm going to get one anyways.
SAH or WOH is a personal decision. A woman and her family should do what's best for them.
Best of luck!
T
DS 2 (on 8/2)
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