What do you find most frustrating??

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2005
What do you find most frustrating??
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Thu, 05-18-2006 - 8:07am
Yesterday I had the longest day ever DH didn't get home until almost 8:30! I was worn out and dropped like the dead after I got them all to bed. And this morning I was thinking about how frustrating it is to me to "single" mom it at times.( Been there done that!)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 8:22am

Dh has a big job and is VERY stressed himself over work most of the time. It doesn't matter how bad my day has gone, he just really doesn't understand. If I tell him about my awful day, he just tells me about his, which was always worse. I feel like I can't really complain, KWIM? I mean, he listens and is sympathetic, but he always has to trump me. He's always complaining that his employees are like a bunch of 5yos. Well, ya know, at least he's getting PAID to work with 5yos, darn it! Sometimes I wish we could switch places. He would be more relaxed at home and I'd be more relaxed at work.

Erin

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Registered: 08-20-2003
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 9:01am

Oh that same thing, or similar!


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Avatar for me_n_my_gals
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 9:11am

At this very moment, the fact that my girls fight EVERY single day about who gets on the bus first!! I really have just had it! Usually, I walk out to the end of the driveway and wait for the bus with them. The little girl across the street comes over and waits with us. They are pretty good about remembering who went first the day before, but quite frankly I think it is the most ridiculous fight....anyhow, today I had just had it. They were only 1/2 way down the driveway, and already bickering about it. So, I told them to stop or I was going in. Well, they kept it up, and I gave them both a kiss, and told them to have a good day, and came in the house. 2 minutes later Katie was at the front door, crying, that her sister hit her (I'm sure she ticked her off, Molly doesn't like Katie bossing). I told her, go get on that bus, and stop the crying (she is 9 for crying out loud). I feel terribly guilty about not waiting with them, and leaving them to literally duke it out, but I am just sooooooooooooo sick of it!

Phew, thanks Rose. I feel better

Hugs to you, I'm sorry you had such a long day. I frequently have days like that myself. DH never knows when he will have a day where they have to stay at work until a job is done, etc. I know how you feel.

Have a great day!!
Wendy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2005
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 9:16am
I think what frustrates me most is when I have the kids all calmed down and relaxed in bed for the evening.Dh gets home later in the evenieng 2-3 days a week ( he has an almost 2 hour commute)and get the kids all rilied up again when he gets home.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2006
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 9:17am
YOU ARE SO RITE , IV BEEN MARRIED 24YRS. AND IT STILL THE SAME
TO SAY MEN DONT CHANGE, IN BOOK ANYWAY, BETHNEY
. sorry cap lock on , have a good one yall.
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Registered: 01-06-2004
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 9:28am
What frustrates me is having to do it alone most of the time. All the hard things in life happen to us when Chris is gone.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 11:11am

My on-going, never-ending frustration is that I have to be married to my husband's career. His work schedule rules our lives. While he is a tremendous help to me when he's home and awake--he cleans, cooks, cares for the kids, does the yard (which he's doing now), etc.--he is constantly called on his off-time by the hospital. He sometimes gets called in in the middle of the night. He works overnight shifts 1-2 times each week, which means he sleeps half the following day, is wasted and his circadian rhythm is constantly messed up. He is gone so much. His job is emotionally demanding, and he's often affected and saddened by the things that he deals with, and that affects me too, because I love him and am his "sounding board." It's a little hard to complain to him that the boys fought over what game to play when he's telling me about how he had to do chest compressions for an hour to keep someone alive, and then had to break the news to the family that despite his best efforts their father/mother/son/daughter, etc, died. My frustrations then become a little irrelevant. But I vent to him anyway. . . And because of all this, I often feel like I'm going it alone here at home.

And then there's the Professional Life factor. He is respected by society (most of the time, anyway) for what he does. He gets to jaunt off to exotic locations a few times/year for high-powered and intellectually stimulating medical conferences in fancy hotels while I'm home wiping butts and noses, and singing "TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR." He is in an intellectually stimulating work environment where he teaches medical students and residents how to be good physicians, and consults on cool cases, and uses his brain to make diagnostic decisions, while I use my brain to vacuum the crumbs out of the family room couch or decide on cute outfits for the kids. No saving lives going on with me--just keeping life going here!

Don't get me wrong. I'm proud of my husband to no end. I witnessed first hand the intense training and schooling and work he went through to get where he is. But I do have a college degree, and a brain which I think has atrophied.

And don't get me wrong. I do love my children more than words could ever say, and feel so fortunate to be home with them as they grow up. I wouldn't trade my position for his. It's just that I do get frustrated at times.

I feel guilty complaining, because I really do have it pretty good. . . But you asked!! ;)

Sofia




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Avatar for lovetwins2003
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Registered: 09-11-2003
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 11:23am

I think endless days are the most frustrating. Having a husband who is so oriented to business success that I am basically on my own with the house and kids.

It's frustrating not to have more of a "partner" in that area. Especially when they are so little.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 11:31am
Oh Rose you opened a can of worms!! LOL
I posted above about my frustrating hubby! He is so insensitive to helping me. I didn't create my two kids by myself! LOL






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readers
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 11:36am

Sofia, I can relate to this part of your post...


*My on-going, never-ending frustration is that I have to be married to my husband's career. His work schedule rules our lives. While he is a tremendous help to me when he's home and awake--he cleans, cooks, cares for the kids, does the yard (which he's doing now), etc.--he is constantly called on his off-time by the hospital. He sometimes gets called in in the middle of the night. He works overnight shifts 1-2 times each week, which means he sleeps half the following day, is wasted and his circadian rhythm is constantly messed up. He is gone so much. *


Except my husbands job is just to make rich men richer!


Yes my Dh makes decent money but it is at the sacrifice of himself. He says he does not mind and would work in a physically demanding job even if he became an instant millionaire. He has too much of his Grandpa in him. My Dh actually challenges himself to see how many hours he can put in a week! Yikes! Who does that?


Any way my frustation comes from the fact that I feel guilty that he does not have much of a life outside of work. He doesn't get to have hobbies or even friends. I actually keep myself at home sometimes when we could be out, just out of guilt.


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