What makes being a SAHM possible?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
What makes being a SAHM possible?
11
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 10:17am

Hey ladies, I know we have a lot of lurkers who are not SAHMs, but would like to be. Let's all share our stories and what we do to make it a possibility. Maybe we can give some ladies wanting to stay home with their children more of a direction to turn that dream into a reality!

What kinds of things have you and your dh/so done/do that has made it possible for you to stay home with your kids? What advice would you give to anyone who is wanting to stay home?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2005
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 10:52am

DH and I talked it over and made a pros and cons list of me staying home.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2003
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 12:11pm

Definitely the support of your husband/SO...When Randy and I got married, we both agreed that this was the kind of lifestyle we both wanted.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2005
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 12:16pm
When DH and I found out we were pregnant, we had only been dating three months. But we knew that we were going to be together and eventually get married. So we sat down and talked everything out. I had just lost my job a week prior so it wasn't too difficult bc he was already supporting me. We sat down and figured out our budget and how much he made. And here we are two and a half years and two babies later, still the same happy SAHM. DH works hard for us to be able to afford for me to stay home but I know that he is happy with his choice. I am also going to school so that if I do end up having to work down the line, I will be able to get a good job.
Jessjuly2010siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2003
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 12:19pm
No cell phones, no cable, lowest cheapest internet, driving older cars that we could buy with cash so that our car insurance is also low ($69 for both cars), eating out (fast food/restaurant) only 1-2 times a month, payless, Walmart and a lot of budgeting.





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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 12:55pm
Alot of scrimping & saving and planning before our daughter was born. My dh is a high school teacher so it makes money tight. We basically have always lived on one salary and pocketed the other one. I dont have the best and latest clothes or shoes anymore, we have to limit eating out and we only have the basic bills which everyone has. Occasionally we carry some debt but we then scrimp even more to pay it down. If anything big happens, we also have family who can help out. I haev also sold stuff on ebay that I have picked up at garage sales and thrift stores for some extra cash. Hope that helps!
Jennifer Sahm to 17 month old and expecting number 2 January 9 2007

Jennifer

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 1:17pm

Well, DH and I have been together since I was 16 and he was 18. We knew from very young that I was going to be a SAHM when we had kids. It was something we both wanted. I didn't go to University because for me it didn't make sense to spend the money that neither my parents nor I had for University when I wasn't going to be working for very long. (I might go back when I am older and know what I want to do LOL) I went to Business College (1 year program) and got a diploma that would land me a decent paying job so I could work for a few years. When DH graduated from University with his Computer Science Degree in 1997 we moved 12 hours from our families so he could work in a city with well paying jobs. We bought a 1700 sq ft townhome (small starter home in our area) in 1999 and got married the same year. We had inexpensive cars too. Before we had kids all our extra money went to pay off the mortgage. I worked until 6 weeks before I gave birth to our 4 year old, Katelyn in May 2002. I went back to work 1-2 days a week when Katelyn was a year old and DH got laid off. I got pg unexpectedly when Katelyn was 14 months. I worked until I was 6 months pg with #2. DH was back to work by the time I stopped working when pg with #2. By the time we bought our current 4 bedroom house we have over half of our original mortgage paid off (thanks to lump sum payments before we had kids and an increase in the housing market which gave us a $60,000 gain from buying the first house to selling it). We also now have both 1998 Saturn Wagon and our 2002 Honda Odyssey paid off.

To earn some extra spending money, I did some scrapbook consulting for a while and I have been babysitting a 1 year old for the past 10 months. She is going to daycare now and I have landed a part-time (2 days a week) evening job coaching volleyball with the city I live in. It allows DH to look after the kids while I work for a few hours.

Sorry that got very long! My biggest point all of that is that for alot of people, staying home is an option, but you have to be willing to give up some things. We lived in our smaller house for longer than I wanted to, we don't go on trips or eat out much. Buy cheaper, but still reliable cars. Buy consignment clothes for the kids. I get so angry at people who say they wish they could stay home like I do, but then they are driving fancy cars, living in fancy houses and buying brand name everything and spending like crazy. They are just not willing to give up the luxuries to stay home. My Dh is in a field that pays well so that helps for us. He is now in management so he travels a bit and works alot from home in the evenings, but it is what he does so I can stay home. I am willing to give up plenty if it means I get to raise my kids myself.

baby development Proud hospital birthing, disposible diapering, vaccinating, CIO, breastfeeding and supplementing Mam
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 1:39pm

For me it was just about accepting the obvious. So many times, women with careers continue working after they have kids, even if after childcare and expenses they are just breaking even or coming out in the hole. I think it's important to have a strong marriage and the support of your husband. Mine never told me he thought I should quit but was quick to support me when I suggested that it was best. I'm so glad I put my career on hold to give this gift to my children.

Erin

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2005
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 4:09pm
Being a SAHM was totally my decision and for me it was a big one to make.
 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 12:46pm
there were some wonderful suggestions here, so I thought I'd bump this up for the lurkers... also if anyone else would like to add some "words of wisdom", please do so!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 2:38pm
i remember dh, and i kind of well he came home from work and said a co-worker was pregnant again with his second child. And if i wanted to we could try for a child, I did want a child and we were so fortunate to get one. I hd been laid off at the time. We needed to get our house together, we owned property without, mortgages, etc... so we were very fortunate. I also, had money set aside to finish up the house, so we did this and also, have options with some other properties to have an income later on. Anyway, my husbands fortunately makes enough money for us to live on. We drive an old model car that we paid cash for, and we don't get into any debt.
We pretty much save with not eating out, especially because i have more control as to what i feed my family if we eat at home. I do a lot of activities that don't cost much, like play groups and le leche league, and sea swimming.
The best thing is that we have no debt, which i am grateful about. And my husband has a job that is high demand all the time he is never without work, plus, money invested wisely that can bring an income later. if needed, sometimes taxes are worse if you rent property.
Anyway, we feel very fortunate, that i could stay home. it requires some financial security and a steady job from ones hubby, and possibly not being in debt.
arie

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