WHEN DID KIDS GET SO MEAN????????????

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2004
WHEN DID KIDS GET SO MEAN????????????
43
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 8:41am
WELL YESTURDAY WAS NICE OUT,SO MY SON & I PACKED UP HIS TOYS &STUFF &HEADED TO THE PARK.AFTER PLAYING FOR A WHILE SOME KIDS CAME 2 BOYS & A GIRL (BOYS AROUND 4-7 GIRL 12)WELL THEY STARTED TOSSING A BALL TO EACH OTHER,WELL DOMENIC COMES RUNNING OVER SAYING I WANNA PLAY THROW IT TO ME,THET IGNORE HIM ,SO AGAIN HE SAYS PLEASE I WANNA PLAY THROW IT TO ME PLEASE.THEY LOOKED AT HIM & YELLED NO YOU CAN NOT PLAY. I WAS SHOCKED ,AMAZED AT HOW RUDE THAT WAS.MY SON WILL BE 3 IN MAY ,ALL HE WANTED WAS TO PLAY BALL WITH THESE KIDS. WELL I SAID COME ON DOMENIC I'LL PLAY WITH YOU ,NO MOMMY I WANNA PLAY WITH THEM ,I SAID SORRY HONEY THEY DO'NT WANNA PLAY WITH YOU HE ASKED ME WHY > I FELT SO BAD FOR HIM.WELL WE STARTED PLAYING & ANOTHER LITTLE GIRL (NAMED JENNIFER )CAME OVER & WAS JUST WATCHING US DOMENIC SAID DO YOU WANNA PLAY WITH ME!WELL SHE DID SO THE 3 OF US TOSSING THE BALL TO EACH OTHER WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THOSE KIDS (THE ONES THAT TOLD HIM HE COULD NOT PLAY)CAME OVER WITHOUT ASKING JUST DECIDED TO JOIN OUR GAME.... WRONG... I STOPPED THE GAME & SAID LETS GO PLAY ON THE SWINGS I'LL PUSH YOU GUYS(DOMENIC & JENNIFER).I KNOW THAT WAS MEAN BUT I WAS STILL ALITTLE MAD . WHEN DID KIDS BECOME SO MEAN????????/
Avatar for my3girls2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 3:45pm
ok I think no-one has said anything cause they didn't want to make a big deal out it but when you put your caps in capital letters you are shouting at us so maybe you could fix that one problem. Another thing is if you have 11 yr olds knocking on your door to play with your 3 yr old, I would think twice about that if I were you. I understand you feeling bad for your son, I would too but I mean they are ''just'' kids, theyu don't know how to say ''I am sorry I don't feel like playing with you today'',, they didn't mean anything by it.
~Kim~,, mom to 3 girls~~
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2004
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 5:09pm
really sorry about the "caps" i am not shouting at any one !!!! as far as the 11 yr old ringing the doorbell, not to sound rude but i do believe i said "ringing the bell to play with him " i never said he does.whenever my son goes out he is with me.if kids do'nt want to play with my son so be it do'nt . but let me just say as far as saying sorry no you can'nt play well whenever my son sees someone fall,he says "are you alright" someone sneeze"godbless you" so yes kids do & know how to say sorry not this time. if anyone thinks i am comming on like my son is the best kid in the world well i will be the first to say he's not.but he likes to play with everyone
Avatar for my3girls2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 9:31pm
I know kids can still be nice, but some can't. I have 3 girls ages 12, 5, and 3, I run a daycare where I have had kids of all sizes, ages, and some nice some not so nice. If you ask me it's the parents, if they teach the kids to be nice most are vice versa, But I still beleive this is just a life lesson for our kids that in the real worls, some people are nice, some not so much! I also think that we are in a world where trust in a public place is something that we need to keep a close eye on. We also teach our kids about the mean people in this world and how not to talk to strangers, etc. so perhaps the kids were just keeping to themselves like maybe they were told. Who knows?
~Kim~,, mom to 3 girls~~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 8:08am
Hi!

I still think that it is wrong to teach your child that those kids were being "mean" to him (unless, of course, they were yelling). But they are within their rights for not letting him play. Why is it that we expect more from children than we expect from adults? I mean, if I saw a group of adults sitting in the park eating lunch, I would not presume that I could go sit with them and eat their lunch. I would not think that they were being "mean" if I asked and they said no... I would just realize that they are entitled to a nice lunch with friends.

Also, your child could have gotten hurt playing with the big kids. He doesn't have the skills and why should they play down to his level?

It's nice to share and teach children to share, but I don't think that everything in this would is community property. I mean, I don't "share" my neighbor's house or bedroom or car. lol.

Thanks,

Melissa

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 10:13am

I'm wondering if you actually explained to the older kids why you were not allowing them to play with your son later on.

Posted by:

Rhonda

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 12:01pm
Hey everybody!!!Quit ganging up on domenicsmom!Maybe you all aren't as protective of your children as she is and I am.Well that's fine,but don't put us down because we do!I intend to protect my son's emotions as well as protecting him from phsical harm.Yes,I realize I can't protect him from everything,but at least he will know that I never let him down,and simply stood by while others mistreated him!There was nothing wrong with her telling those kids they couldn't play when they were mean to her son.I stand up for myself when people are rude to me,so I am certainly going to do the same for my son!Just think,what if your neighbor snubbed you and then they found out you won the lottery and suddenly they wanted to come over to your house and be your buddy!I think you would see right through that.Those kids wanted nothing to do with him until they saw he had something they wanted,and then they wanted to play.Stop feeling sorry for those kids.They were being selfish and they deserved a taste of their own medicine!
Avatar for my3girls2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 12:46pm
Oh My!!! You sure did dound alot like the 1st poster,, Hmmmm!
~Kim~,, mom to 3 girls~~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 1:04pm
Hi!

I don't think that anyone is "ganging up" on Dominic's mom simply by disagreeing.... but then, disagreeing with someone may hurt their feelings and I guess that hurt feelings should be prevented at all costs!

I am "mean" to my daughter everyday. I am "mean" when I tell her "no, you can't play with the knobs on the stove" or "no, you can't touch the wall sockets" I suppose being told "no" hurts her feelings, but oh well! Sometimes you can't do the things you want. End of story. Sometimes people are rude and mean. That's not going to change. All you can change is your reaction to rudeness and meanness. You can only control yourself. Isn't that the lesson here?

Thanks for the spirited discussion,

Melissa

Meldi
Avatar for my3girls2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 1:17pm
well I guess because this wouldn't bother us for days upon days we don't care as much as she does,, oops I mean ''they'',, LOL!!!
~Kim~,, mom to 3 girls~~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 1:33pm
So teach your children to give them a taste of their own medicine. We aren't ganging up on anybody. I protect both my children from mean and insensitive people, both adults and children. BUT I take the time to tell the mean ones WHY I am not allowing them to be a part of our group, or better yet when they are mean to begin with I tell them then That it was mean. My DD is in a wheelchair and NOW I feel that EVERYONE here should tell me she can play with you and you HAVE to be nice and include her in your group at the park. (see sarcasm) She IS in a wheelchair but that does not give her the right to included in everygame, ESPECIALLY if she does not know the others playing. She can ask and they CAN say no, as long as they don't call her names,or make fun of her because she is disabled, or push her out of her chair, or yell at her- then it's their choice. I can perceive it to be mean or I can tell her that those children do not know her and just didn't want to play with someone they don't know. My role is to make sure that she doesn't FEEL like they were mean and to support her for trying to be friends. Yes I want everyone to play with my DD and to like her, but unfortunately that doesnot happen. Just MY two cents-- but maybe you don't want to see my side.LOL Shelley