Why do they do this?
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Why do they do this?
| Sat, 04-29-2006 - 4:44pm |
I just wish, for once, my children would listen to me the first time I ask them to do something.
I end up yelling or beating them because they refuse to behave.
Andrew talks back, does not listen to a thing I say and makes the meanest looks to me.
I am just tired of it all.
I am too tired now to do much about it but just yell and sometimes get the spoon out and threaten him. Which he just runs away most of the time.
I have tried the time outs, dont work. Threats dont work, just asking does not work.
Any suggestions? He is 7 and now Dalton is following right behind him. UGH
I end up yelling or beating them because they refuse to behave.
Andrew talks back, does not listen to a thing I say and makes the meanest looks to me.
I am just tired of it all.
I am too tired now to do much about it but just yell and sometimes get the spoon out and threaten him. Which he just runs away most of the time.
I have tried the time outs, dont work. Threats dont work, just asking does not work.
Any suggestions? He is 7 and now Dalton is following right behind him. UGH






Pages
ScreamFree Parenting: Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool (Screamfree Living) by Hal Edward Runkel (Paperback - Mar 22, 2005)http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0975998110/sr=8-1/qid=1146343669/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-0651272-1625533?%5Fencoding=UTF8
I will send it to you when I am done if you want.
BOYS!!! UUUUHHHHGGGGG!
I have a 5yo who drives me crazy sometimes. Have you tried puting his stuff in time-out instead of him? It works for me. Sitting in time out for 10 minutes is much less painful than puting his favorite toy there for a couple of hours. I put it up somewhere where he can see it but it's out of reach. Kidee torture. I've found the key is to be consistant. I don't make threats I'm not prepared to follow through with. I have spanked him a couple of times, but it never works and I feel horrible afterwards, so I never do it now.
Good Luck!
Erin
THanks for the book suggestion. I will have to look into getting it, unless you send me yours.
Which I would return after I have read it :)
Thanks again.
(((((Mel)))))
As long as Chris isn't around to enforce discipline, and you are pg, they will act up as much as possible b/c they know you are physically unable to deal with them as much.
One thing you could try is to take away everything... lock up all the toys, video games, etc., and give them just a few to play with. keep them locked up for a few months if you have to, then as they behave, slowly give them back one at a time.
When they are in time out, DO NOT TALK TO THEM (this includes yelling ;o)... hard I know (been there). Just ignore them, and remember that time out is according to how old they are... Andrew would have 7 minutes if he is 7 yrs old. As long as he is in time out, he's not allowed to talk or play... if he does, start the timer over again (and make sure it is where he can see it).
We have a rule around here that the girls only get spankings if they are physically violent (hitting, pinching, kicking, etc.). Other than that, it's time out or lose toys. Everything has to have an "if-then" circumstance... "IF they hit mommy or each other, THEN they get a spanking"... "IF they don't pick up their toys off of the living room floor when they are told, THEN the toys go into my closet for 1 day". The girls are aware of these rules, and it has made things a lot less complicated. Write them down if you have to... make out a list of rules and put them on the refrigerator.
With Natalie esp. this has been hard... it's taken MONTHS for things to get better around here, but we've been consistent and it's finally getting better.
I don't believe that kids should sit on their rear and watch tv or play video games, but even mine do it way too much; SO, a couple of days a week, after I feel they've had too much and are not minding me, I unplug the tv for a couple of days. I also keep their cartoon channels locked with a code so that Kyle or I have to unlock them for them to even watch tv. I've been really surprised how much peaceful things have become lately after doing this. At first it was WWIII... yelling about how I'm the meanest mom in the world, etc., but now they just go play or read. I never turn the TV off WHILE they are watching it (out of anger)... I just make the decision that morning and do it before they ever have a chance to turn it on. Even I had withdrawals at first LOL, but now I'm just enjoying the peace and quiet.
Now that it's warmer weather, send him outside to play. It's good for him, and will give you a break.
Above all, really try not to yell (TRUST me! I KNOW how hard this is). They lose respect for you, and will never take you seriously. I've found that when I get really serious, lower my voice and look right into Natalie's eyes, the kid LITERALLY starts getting nervous and has even said "mom you scare me!" LOL. I don't have to yell, I don't have to threaten, I don't have to spank, and it works! (you can't do this everytime though LOL)
Hang in there sweetie, and IM me if you need to.
I think it will be harder with Dalton, I will have to do a little different with him.
I do have a book called 1-2-3 magic, maybe I should read it again and try it. Worked great with Andrew a few years ago.
Mel, don't think it's just you or just boys, my girls are just as bad as the boys these days!! I know exactly how you feel. You are *so* not alone.
What I don't understand is: How come they listen to Michael so well, and disobey & talk back to *me* when I'm with them 24/7 and he's not, and I'm the stricter of the 2 of us?? No fair!!
I'm the one who's spanked. My DH has never hit the kids. He's picked them up & physically removed them & dumped them in Time Out, but he's never hit them. I wonder how much longer that's going to last. And when he does finally raise his voice, they jump to attention like the military; whereas I could scream all day & they don't blink an eye.
It is totally unfair.
And it's always, always worse when our husbands are gone. You have my sympathies and ((hugs))!!
Sofia
Ya know, I have found that threatening dosen't work.
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Good advice. . . One time about a month ago, Matthew (my 7 year-old son) had his PS2 games out all over the floor of the playloft--out of their cases and getting scratched up. We'd warned him about putting them away before, but he'd been upstairs playing with a neighborhood friend, and they ran out to play without cleaning up. DH discovered them & confiscated them, as well as any that *were* in their cases, and told him he couldn't play PS2 for 2 weeks.
In the meantime, Matthew tried all kinds of whining and begging to get them back, which was really obnoxious. He begged *me* because he knew DH wouldn't relent. It didn't work. He's all about trying to play one of us against the other when he's punished, but we always back each other up.
Amazing! He survived 2 weeks with no PS2!! And we haven't seen any PS2 games out of their cases since. DH told him if he sees them out again, next time it will be a month.
Sofia
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