Wish me luck!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wish me luck!!
9
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 12:13pm

Tomorrow we're going to the annual barbecue at my brother and SIL's house. They do this every year for my SIL's birthday. They have a big above-ground pool off their deck, and a volleyball net where all the guys play volleyball, and there will be tons of food that all my family will bring.

Sounds fun, right?

NOT!! I love my brother dearly. He is my only brother, and 4 years younger than I am. They have 2 adorable kids: a boy and a girl. The problem is my SIL. She *hates* me. We have had a ton of problems over this past year, because I finally stood up to her for the way she treats me. She's always been pretty hateful to me in a subtle way--just criticizing me--especially to my mom, whom she's in kahoots with. I came to discover this past year that she's very jealous of me, which is to be pitied. She's also cheating on my brother, I'm pretty sure. Not only that, but she has the hots for my DH, and flirts non-stop with him, which is just a little annoying after a while, and drives him nuts. She's a mean person in many ways. She's mean to my brother, and she's hateful to me. She's one of those people that will say subtle things to you, but they're MEAN underneath, for example, when I was pregnant with my twins, she told me "I'd shoot myself in the head if I had twins." She told everyone in my family that our kids have too many toys, and we spoil them. She'll tell me stuff like "You'd better keep a close eye on Michael, or someone else is going to snatch him up" implying that he would cheat on me. At my parents' Christmas get-together, she sat there and ran through all the jewelry Michael has given me over the years to my mom, right in front of us, and said stuff like: "He just wants Sofia to look good to show her off to his rich doctor friends" and "Who needs a wedding set that big?" (My wedding set is not that big!!). And of course, my mom jumped in and said "Jewelry isn't practical" and "Romance is for young people" (like we're so old). Very hurtful stuff, and right in front of us (we left the room). I don't even know how she found out about the jewelry, but she's way too interested in our lives! And after we went to the Bahamas last month, she called my mom and got her all riled up that we were neglecting our kids while we were jaunting all over the world, and that they were too young to leave (this from the woman who doesn't even care for her own kids, my brother does!). She loves to play my mom against me. At the same time, she tells my DH stuff like "You look *good*, have you been working out?" and "Let's hope your sons grow up to be as handsome as you." Totally inappropriate stuff from a married woman to a married man. No scruples, I tell you!

We pretty much have to go tomorrow, or we'll really blow all family relations and diss my parents, but I'm *so* not looking forward to it! Last year it was a bad day for me. I'm trying not to let it get to me, and I love my 3 sisters to death, and will hang with them and my DH all day, and not get near her or my mom, but it's still a little uncomfortable for me, so I'm asking you all to WISH ME LUCK. It's kind of stressing me out.

Sofia




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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2006
In reply to: surfnsand
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 12:29pm

GL with that one and it does sound like someone is *very* jealous.


I had a friend who was very jealous of mine and DH's relationship so I stopped hanging out with her. Unfortunately, your problem is family-related.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: surfnsand
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 12:30pm

Hugs, Sofia! It sounds to me like a bad case of sour grapes!! I'm quite sure this is one of those things that you can't just ignore, and she will stop. It sounds like she is very insecure and jealous. I'm sorry that she treats you so poorly. That is really not fair. Hugs to you, my friend. If it were me, I would let her have it. I'm sure your sisters know what is going on, and if your mother sides with her DIL, and not her own flesh and blood, then shame on her. She should be defending you.

Family - don't ya love it!!

Hugs,
Wendy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2003
In reply to: surfnsand
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 12:31pm

Good luck, Sofia !

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Registered: 02-09-2005
In reply to: surfnsand
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 1:35pm

Sofia,


Wow, maybe try to stay away from her and ask your DH to stay away from her too.

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Registered: 12-01-2005
In reply to: surfnsand
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 2:09pm
Sofia, I would try to avoid her, but if you can't and she acts rude or jealous just say in your sweetest voice ever " It is so fantastic that my life is so enviable" and walk away laughing. {I can be so mean..inserting evil grin....LoL}

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Registered: 08-05-2004
In reply to: surfnsand
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 2:40pm
GOOD LUCK! AND HAVE FUN WITH YOUR BROTHER AND HIS KIDS!
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Registered: 10-11-2005
In reply to: surfnsand
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 3:01pm

Good luck Sofia!


And I know you &

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: surfnsand
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 5:20pm

LOL Rose, I have actually said just about that. I've told her: "I'm so sorry your life is so miserable that you have to be so jealous of me." Last December, Michael told her she needed to get some help, and he never says mean things to ANYONE!!

Too funny. . . But it never seems to change anything, really.

Sofia




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Registered: 08-30-2004
In reply to: surfnsand
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 5:50pm
ugh good luck, i hope it doesnt turn out bad


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