Work & The Future

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Work & The Future
3
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 3:39pm

I'm currently 28 years old and have finished college 3 years ago. I've started this internet company that is slowly coming together. I'm also looking into broadening my knowledge in business by seeking jobs in advertising/marketing.

But I'm running into a delimma already...I don't know why, but these past few months I can't get over the fact that I'm 28 (just turned 28 last month), and I'm really thinking about already wanting to be married with children. Currently, I don't have a boyfriend, but I don't really date much either. I'm really focused now on myself. But if the right guy should come along, (soon I hope...) I'm really willing to give up my career and start a family right away. I don't know why I feel this way...I have always felt I'm running out of time. I have had to deal with some physical problems over the years, and have come to be very self-conscious. I'm very attractive, and look younger than 28. However, these last few weeks, I've suddenly have the urge to start "living." It's like the light suddenly came on and sort of "enlightened" me. I am so excited about this business I've got going, and the possibility of entering the marketing/design field in the coming months. However, on second thought, is it going to be worth it? Like I said, I just can't imagine not being married and not having children. So if I were to meet a guy tomorrow, and get to know him and have everything go well, I would love to be married and just start a family right away. But I would also LOVE to be working and have a fulfilling career.

Please tell me, am I crazy??!! Why am I thinking like this? I'm just too afraid of getting older and still being single and without children. I would never have a child alone, and I also don't want to be a first time mother in my mid-late 30s. I'm just worried the baby might not be healthy, etc.

Does anyone feel like I do? How should I deal with this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 4:15pm

I wish I had all the answers for you. I had my first child when I was 24 but I felt just as you are now. For some reason I just felt like time was running out. That I was 23 and I was never going to meet the right person. Since I was very little I remember longing to be a mother. But I was also very cautious and never took guys seriously until I met my husband.


When I did meet my husband it was a whirlwind thing. Love is so funny you know? You never know when it will find you. You see people who have known their husband from grade school and then people like me who meet and feel in love in just a matter of weeks! LOL I got pg with our first just a few weeks after we met(blushing).


I think your feelings are totally valid and I do understand them.


Your first area of business is of course to find the right guy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 5:13pm

Thank you so much! I do feel a bit better. It's nice to know I'm sharing the same boat wih others! I do believe we all have our own time for things. Unfortunately, things can't work out the ways we always want them too. I am also not the type to force things to happen.

But everyday is just a step in the right direction. Like I said before, I'm just so glad I came to realize that I just don't want to sit and think about how I want things to be...that I must somehow get out and make them happen. This thought is such a big step for me. Yes, I wish I could have thought like this sooner, but the past is the past.

I'm a smart person who had wasted some chances in the past, but I'm thinking the future has good things in store for me as well! I guess life is a balance - you take it as it comes, but you HAVE to help with the direction! Thanks for helping me realize that! Have a great THanksgiving!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 5:32pm

Aww you are so welcome! And a very happy Thanksgiving to you to.


You know just a little tip, to meet the right guy...go where the right guys hang out! lol


For instance if you are very religious go to church singles. Sporting events are great...and you get to see how they handle stress. lol



Hardware stores are great. If you have a dog, I always see a lot of single guys walking their dogs at the dog parks.


I met my Dh at a vocational school during a softball game...he was up to bat and I caught his..uh ball(no pun intended of course). It hurt my hand and he was very kind in getting me ice and taking care of me. :)


Keep us up to date...I can't wait to hear when you've found that special person.


Sending you some happily ever after dust ~*~*~*~*~*~*








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