Working mom thinking of becoming SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
Working mom thinking of becoming SAHM
4
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 11:32am
Hello SAHMs, I needs some advice!

I have been back to work for about 8 months, DD is 14 months old now. Up to this point, DH and I have worked opposite schedules and cobbled together care from a part-time babysitter and relatives to keep DS out of full-time daycare, but we are going to lose the flexibility in our schedules soon. I am considering becoming a SAHM because I dread putting DD in daycare, but I have some concerns about it and would love to hear some feedback. I currently have a good job that I really enjoy. I get a lot of pleasure out of the interaction with other adults and the ability to really use my mind every day. That was the part of staying at home that I really had a problem with, feeling like my brain was stagnating. So my question is -- How do you keep yourselves mentally challenged and ensure that you have an adult conversation every day (with someone other than DH or the supermarket checkout gal? ;-)) Thanks much!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 2:22pm

Welcome and thanks for posting!


It sounds as if you really enjoy your job, could you maybe cut back your hours? Would part time work be a possibility? You might want to talk with your employers, because thanks to technology a lot of work can be done at home. Or if you have an enterprenours spirit you might try running a business from home.


If it is just the adult conversation you think you will miss, then be brave and join a moms group. I finally got the courage to do that and will join in the fall. You could also make a lunch date with your co-workers if you are very friendly with one another. That way you would only need a babysitter once in a while.


I am a homeschool mom, so planning lessons really keeps my brain going, but I also do a daily puzzle and read ALOT. I am involved in an online book group so that really helps.


I hope that whatever you do, it makes you happy. Good luck!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 6:15pm
I understand that it is hard to leave a job you really like. Just remember, you can always get another job but your child is only a child once and you cannot replace the time lost with her or him. Just keep in touch with people at that company and when your child is in school, you might have a foot in the door.

As far as mental stimulation, you have to be creative. Figure out what you would enjoy doing that would be mentally stimulating to you. I read as much as I can and try to find other things to do that are stimulating to me. I also decided to sell Avon on the side and it helps stimulate the mind and keeps me in touch with the outside world. I always take my daughter with me when I deliver the products, so, I don't need a baby sitter. I don't make a whole lot of money but I enjoy having something that is mine to do. I also usually go to lunch with friends when I make these deliveries. I am not necessarily saying to sell Avon but there are other businesses that you can get into and run on your own time out of your home.

I am so glad that I decided to stay home with my daughter(she will be 6 months old in 2 weeks). There is so much I would have missed if I had been working. Also, on days that she did not feel well I wonder if she were in daycare if someone would have had the time to hold her like I did.

I think you should go for it. You will be so happy tht you did.

Lots of Luck.

Lana

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 6:40pm
Do it and stay home!

I would also definitely recommend joining a playgroup or momsgroup. Some of my friends also enjoy bible and book studies. They are offered at local churches and have daycare availble and free at the location.

Also an idea work on a (or another if you already have one) college degree. When my dd was really little I took one or two online classes and one evening class at a time. I love going to school. It keeps your mind busy, you have contact to other adults that is totally not-child related and you're also doing something "productive" :-)

Hope you find a solution you'll be happy with !

Katharina
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2003
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 10:03pm
I quit my job 3 weeks ago to be a full-time SAHM. I was working part-time from when Ander was 8 weeks old (almost 7 months now...), with my sister doing daycare for us. I had been contemplating leaving my job this fall, but when my sister got into her school from a VERY long waiting list, I refused to put him into daycare. I gave notice the next day...

Anyway, it's a strange transistion, but I can't imagine a better way to live. I'm trying to get into something resembling a routine, so that I can "carve" out some time just for me. I'm starting an at-home business (clothing design), but I plan to keep it very small until my kiddos are in school.

For now, I'm in a MOPS group (Mothers of Preschoolers), and I meet often with my other SAHM friends. We go for walks, out to lunch and take the kiddos swimming.

Good luck with making your decision. It is truly wonderful to be able to be home with your little one!

Jayme & Ander