Is Worrying A LOT Normal Mom Behavior?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2003
Is Worrying A LOT Normal Mom Behavior?
7
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 8:25pm
I am a first time Mom to a beautiful five month old baby girl. Since the day she was born I CANNOT stop worrying about every little thing. Just a few examples.....Am I being a good Mom? Am I putting her down or holding her too much? Is her room too hot or cold? Is she getting enough stimulation? Are her bowel patterns normal? Is she gaining enough or too much weight? Is she sick? and on and on and on I go. Is this normal behavior for moms or am I just losing my mind? If it is normal to worry so much, is there an end to the madness? :)

Thanks,

Laura mommy to Brooke

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 8:59pm

I am chuckling cause even thoigh my oldest is almost 13 years old, I still remember those feelings.. you are perfevtly normal!!! I would never go out and even when I did I would call ALL the time!

Kim~

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 12:05am

Another worrier here. I was curious if you were a worrier as a child? I was that way, At public places I was always the one to check if my little sisters were holding hands, and was always so afraid they would get lost.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 4:53am
LoL...I never come and read message boards and I am so glad I did!!

Im a new mom to a 5 month old boy and I am just as crazy as you probably think you are! Everyone keeps telling me to relax, like as if its something you just 'do'.

Personally, I know my life did a 180. Like a year ago I was not a married mom of an infant. I was a 23 yr old p/t college student....My mom was crazy when my sister and I were kids..its all relative ya know?

I figure women have been doing what I am doing for a long long time....We all turned out okay, so I cant be that bad! Least thats what I have to tell myself sometimes! =P

Just nice to know that I am not alone even though I sware I am! Take care! and thanks for making me smile and lol!~Erin
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 7:58am
I have an answer for you

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2003
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 12:07pm
Thanks for the encouraging replies! It's good to know I'm not alone in my worrying. :) Those of you who also have this problem..is there anything that helps you?

Laura mommy to Brooke

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 1:39pm

Well, I don't want to keep sounding like a religious finatic, but prayer has been a GREAT help to me. Understanding that I can not control what happens to my children has been a huge deal for me! I had to come to terms with the fact that my children just do not "belong" to me. They are mine to watch over and care for and love them like crazy but their destiny is just not up to me. Control is a huge issue with me, because of childhood issues. For a long time I truly thought that I could control what happens to my children just by force of will....Well God(or whatever your name for him is) has a much stronger control than I, he wants us to give all of our worries and problems to him. He tells us to pray about EVERYTHING! Sometimes people feel guilty praying if it is not about "religious" things or for someone else. I try to pray every morning and keep a journal about who and what I am praying for. Then read just a small passage in the bible.


If you are spiritual but not religious then you could try meditating. Maybe fix yourself a nice bench surounded by flowers or a special spot in your house. Feeling connected with something outside of yourself is a wonderful way to start your morning and to help you through your day!


Hope this helps!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2003
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 7:08pm
I sometimes think I have to be one of the best worriers. When I first brought my dd home from the hopsital I didn't sleep all night. I laid on the floor by her crib worried that she would stop breathing (SIDS). Now that I have 2 dds I worry A LOT less. I think it is really hard with the first one and then with the second one it is easier because you have been through it before. When my oldest dd turned 1 years old I got a lot better. It is hard when they are babies because there isn't much they can do for themselves. My oldest dd will be 2 in August and she is a daredevil, but basically I let her climb and play and try not to worry too much. I will have to say I have gotten a lot better. I think reading those baby books can make you worry more. I know they have good information, but I think they just feed the fire. I know when I was pregnant I had to stop reading the pregnancy books because it just seemed like there was too much to worry about. Try to look at the big picture....you turned out o.k. didn't you? Dr. Phil had a show about worrying and that helped me. He made me realize that it is a waste of energy to worry about things we have no control over (and it is egotistical to think we can control everything). However, I will say that I think worrying is a natural instinct mothers have to protect their children. I still worry if they are too hot or cold too!! Hope that helps!!