Don't know how much longer I can do it
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|Mon, 02-01-2010 - 9:06pm|
This is mostly a vent, but any advice is welcome!
I teach at a large high school, after being transferred twice within my district. At my last school, I was told that I needed to pack up my classroom in the middle of the school and begin teaching at my current school, where I would be traveling. I am still traveling, a different room each period, and I am teaching all remedial classes.
The day-to-day of my job is difficult, which I probably don't need to tell fellow teachers. My students are low and often have behavior problems. They all require their materials to be stored in the classroom because they won't bring them to class otherwise. (I learned this from experience). Getting these kids to work is difficult enough, but if you've ever been a traveling teacher, it is absolutely exhausting to make sure everything is organized perfectly in each classroom. I'm moving 5 times a day and almost every day I leave a stack of papers or something in my last room, which means I am out of luck for the current period.
In the last few weeks, my schedule was drastically changed and I began teaching a few new classes. These students are my most difficult yet and because I cannot get them new materials, they must use used materials, which is a constant battle for me to convince them to use them.
Not only this, but with the layoff rumors swirling around school, it is likely that I will be laid off or transferred (again). It is so depressing to know that if I'm not laid off, my job will probably get more difficult. If I am laid off, getting another job could be almost impossible in this economy, even though I am equipped with a graduate degree.
I come home every day exhausted. My poor SO tries to understand where I'm coming from, but he's not a teacher and it's hard for him to understand why I'm so tired and unhappy about my job. I feel guilty because I know I am a good teacher, but I feel like my hands are tied behind my back. How many standards can I cover when I'm breaking up fights in a classroom that's not even mine?
Part of me hopes for a layoff and part of me is terrified of one. Has anyone else ever felt like this? It's just not getting any better.