How much is teaching like parenthood?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2007
How much is teaching like parenthood?
8
Fri, 03-19-2010 - 6:19pm

I've been told by many teachers that teaching is "exactly" like parenthood, and it freaks me out! Some go as far to say that teaching is even easier than parenthood. I don't have children but we are planning on starting a family later this year, and these comments terrify me. I come home exhausted from work every day. My students are 9th and 10th graders ("remedial" students), and all day I tell them to stop this, stop that, put this down, etc. They talk back and are rude to each other, and whenever I write them up or send them out, I get an earful.

When I tell this to people who have children, they smirk and tell me how much harder it will be when I have a two year old all day. I can't imagine that a two year old (or even a few) could be more draining and less rewarding than disrespectful teenagers. I know it's more constant work, instead of an hour each day with certain kids, but aren't there more redeeming moments in being with a baby than being around 100 teenagers?

Is being a parent really similar to teaching? Because if it is, I have some thinking to do!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Sat, 04-10-2010 - 8:55am

Hello,


I teach 9th and 11th grade students and have similar fears about parenthood. DH and I do not have any children yet but are currently TTC our first. I have come to the realization that our child will be just that...ours. The students I have at school are wonderful, fun, smart and creative, however I only see the 9th grade year or the 11th grade year. With our child I will want to see everything! I feel that I am very close to my students, but there is always a barrier because I am the authority figure and they are the students. I feel like seeing a little person who is 1/2 me and 1/2 my DH will be a totally different feeling than that I have with my students.


I do also wonder how I am going to teach all day and then come home to another child who needs attention and help. I am already exhausted and it is all I can do to make dinner and walk to dog before I am out of energy.


It is nice to know that other educastors have similar concerns. :)

-Shelby


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-Shelby

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2006
Sun, 03-28-2010 - 9:07pm

My daughter just recently turned 1.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 6:48pm

As a teacher and a step-parent, I can say it can go both ways. One thing is for sure, at least for me: Because both my step-daughters have specific things going on with them (one has ADHD, the other is autistic), I am better able to service my own students, and because I have students who are similar to my step-daughters, I can better help my step-daughters.

I also find that many students who have terrible home lives often look to teachers to fill the roles which are voided at home. That's a lesson I learned the hard way but thankfully, there was an opportunity to correct the course with that student and I've been rewarded greatly as is the student.

  "Aut dosce, aut disce, aut discede"
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Sat, 03-20-2010 - 12:16pm

I've read all the other replies and they are very accurate and informative. You do have control over your own because you raise them and you make your expectations and values clear. Will they perfectly agreeable and compliant? Of course not, but you do develop the ability to read them, communicate with them, and compromise with them on your own terms.


Their attitudes and values develop when they are young. They will love and trust you and you have to make something out of that potential.

Sherry

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2009
Sat, 03-20-2010 - 9:58am
I lurk here (I'm not a teacher), and I've read through all the replies so far in this thread. Teaching may be more similar to STEP-parenting than parenting. In both situations, one has "hands-on" interaction for periods of time with a child, but no real input or control over how the child is raised.
Avatar for coloradomom2b
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-20-2010 - 9:25am

I love coming home to my kids at night! (they are still little) When you are teaching, you have no control over how those kids were raised. With my kids, I am hyper aware of mistakes other parents have made and refuse to let my kid be "one of those kids." (Well, I do my best, but I don't claim to be the greatest parent)

Teaching is not exactly like parenthood. Those kids in your classroom? Well, some may love you, some may kind of like you, and some well, they may not like you at all. You kids, especially when they are little, adore you unconditionally. When I had my son, I felt like the luckiest woman in the world to have two men who worshiped the ground I walked on. (Try finding that in a classroom! LOL!)

Yes, a 2 year old can be draining, but not always....but the difference is that you love that 2 year old and they love you back. You know that the 2 year old is not doing it just to piss you off or get away with something. The 2 year old is doing it because he/she is learning and growing.

As for being drained at the end of the day? Some days I come home drained and the kids cheer me up and re-engergize me. Sometimes I'm so tired I can barely deal with them (thank God for my husband).

So your last question? Yes, there are more redeeming moments with a baby than with a bunch of teenagers. :)
Good luck!

Feb 09 Siggy

Feb 09 Siggy

Avatar for guili12737
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-1997
Fri, 03-19-2010 - 10:40pm

It's similar, but not the same. For me, I can be dispassionate about my students, but not about my own children. There is not the same level of emotional involvement.

What I have found however, is if I have a hard day at work with disciplining students, I have much less tolerance at home for my own kids. The last thing I want to do it discipline my own kids after doing it at school. My kids are all teenagers now so it's less of a problem, but it is hard. It sometimes feels like you're doing the same thing for 18hrs a day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2008
Fri, 03-19-2010 - 7:36pm
Your kid will behave like you raise him/her to be. I looked at teaching as an educational experience. I learned what traits I did and did not like/tolerate in others' kids, and plan to raise Penny according to those thoughts. But no, teaching is not exactly like parenting. I like many of my students (some I even like a lot), but I LOVE my child.

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