A little humor

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Registered: 08-23-1997
A little humor
1
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 10:04am
In response to President Bush's Federal "No Child Left Behind Act"
(NCLB), it is proposed that students will have to pass a test to be
promoted to the next grade level. The new test will be called the
Federal Arithmetic and Reading Test (FART). Only State certified
Federal Arithmetic and Reading Test Examination Regulator Specialists
(FARTERS) will be allowed to administer this test.
All students who cannot pass a FART in the second grade will be
retested in grades 3, 4, and 5 until they are capable of passing a FART
with a score of 80%. If a student does not successfully FART by grade 5,
that student shall be placed in a separate English program known as the
Special Mastery Elective for Learning Language (SMELL). This program
will only be administered by a State certified Special Mastery Elective
for Learning Language Edu! cational Representative (SMELLER).
If, with this increased SMELL program, the students cannot pass
the required FART test, he or she can still graduate to middle school by
taking another one semester course in Comprehensive Reading and
Arithmetic Preparation (CRAP). Only State certified Comprehensive
Reading and Arithmetic Program Preparation Enhancement Repeater
Specialists (CRAPPERS) will be allowed to teach this program.
If, by the age of fourteen, the student cannot FART, SMELL, or
CRAP, he or she can earn promotion in an intensive one-week seminar
known as the Preparatory Reading for Unprepared Nationally Exempted
Students (PRUNES).
It is the opinion of the Department of Instruction for Public
Schools (DIPS) that an intensive week of PRUNES will enable any student
to FART, SMELL, or CRAP. This revised provision of the student! component
of the House Bill 101 should help "clear the air! " as par t of the "No
School Left Standing" Act.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
In reply to: guili12737
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 9:28pm

A perfect solution! Thanks so much for posting this literary masterpiece!


Sherry

Sherry