NCLB, Football Version
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|Fri, 08-06-2004 - 6:29pm|
No Child Left Behind, Football Version
1. All teams must make the state playoffs, and all will win the championship. If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable. In a recent experiment, the University of Nebraska football program modeled this theory.
2. All kids will be expected to have the same football skills at the same time and in the same conditions. No exceptions for interest in football, desire in athletics, abilities, or disabilities.... ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL.
3. Talented players will be asked to work out on their own without instruction, because the coaches will be using all their instructional time with the athletes that aren't interested in football, have limited athletic ability, and whose parents don't like football.
4. Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept in 4th, 8th, and 11th grades.
5. This will create a New Age of sports where every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same minimal goals. If no child gets ahead, then no child will be left behind.